Sex in Young Adult Lit

In my outline, I have a sex scene between two teenagers. Now, I know sex happens in YA fiction. What I am concerned about is how graphic/specific should I make the scene? Should I just gloss over it, or should I provide details?

Different books have varying levels of explanation as far as the sex goes. I think the most common tactic I've personally seen for sex in YA is giving enough detail so you know what's going on but focusing more on the emotions of the POV character.

I think in YA you should at the most describe the feelings and the general of what is happening, i.e "(s)he loved the way (s)he touched her/him", nothing more, or if it's a girl losing her virginity "it stung". Descriptions like that should be vague and breif. Or you can just go with the feelings, and reflect on that it DID happen later.

Don't do graphic, but glossing over it doesn't really work in all novels...

Unless there's a specific action that moves the plot forward or becomes something more important later on, no need (other than titillation) to go into detail. Emotions, changes in relationships are better, I think.

I think you can do anything (except for hard core erotica) as long as it suits your story.

There are published YA novels that deal about losing your virginity alone (Judy Blume's "Forever", or Daria Snadowsky's "Anatomy of a Boyfriend", or, to a lesser extend (in a way there are other things going on), Laura Ruby's "Good Girls"). Blume's book was banned in libraries, but the other two never received such controversy (as far as I know). So I say it is possible to write and publish a YA book with (lots of) sex in it.

However, I guess it should be age appropriate. Your character's should be older teens, for example. Plus, the scenes should be described either through feelings, or - like the aforementioned books did - through the (awkwardness and excitement) of new sexual experience. NOT like erotica. What I'm saying is that while these books are very explicit with the anatomical details and what not, it's done more informatively and not pornographically.

But these books are very explicit and they're published. Seriously, I think you should be fine. There will ALWAYS be people who complain about this stuff, but if you think it suits your story, then put it in your story, and if it really belongs there, many people will agree with you.

PS- I'm planning on having at least two sex scenes in my novel, but I don't worry about it. They're all necessary for the plot and character development.

I think that because it is a teen book, that any sex scene should focus more on the emotions, the relationship changes, even the new-ness of whats happening, without really being graphic in describing the sex, unless, as is said above me, it's necessary for plot/character development.

I think this is a good test for YA sex scenes:

What is a purpose of your sex scene?

a) To advance the plot. This sex scene is a crucial moment and many things happen because of it.

b) To develop my character. Sex is important, especially at this age and, presumably, it deeply affects the characters.

c) To inform/educate teen readers about sex (as well as birth control, safe sex, potential risks, etc.)

d) To make readers sexually aroused (help them the way porn movies and erotic stories do).

e) To shock readers/moral guardians.

Personally, I think everything except for the last two is acceptable in YA.

There's a lot of somewhat detailed sex in mine, but mine is written about young adults that are actually adults, as in college aged and up. It really just depends of the tone of your story and the audience. YA for late teens/early twenties is very different from YA for early high school/upper middle school.

Jefflion, good point. My reasons for including such scenes are a and b, and considering my plot, I cannot avoid such scenes. I have a hard time writing things like this because of the awkward factor, so I normally imply what is going on. I provide more feelings than I do actions, which is personally best for me.

Well, considering how half the shelf nowadays seems to be paranormal soft-core porn...

You're probably fine as long as one half of the pair is an imaginary creature.

My novel last year has a sex scene, and the one I'll do this year may have at least some sexually-flavored parts in it. I read a lot of YA, the sex in which can actually be very sensual and exciting without reaching the level of erotica or adult fiction. The best approach is to describe feelings, as in emotions and thoughts, not mechanics. As someone mentioned earlier, sexuality is a huge part of being a teenager, and most characters will encounter those feelings at least in passing.

So my tips for sex in YA books:
- Read lots of YA that has sex in it. Judy Blume especially, then some of the other modern greats like Laura Wiess and Ellen Hopkins. I'd be more than happy to recommend a few titles for anyone who wants to see what beautiful, tender YA sex scenes are all about. Like any writing, you must read it to see how it's done.
- Keep in mind your narrator. If first-person, the gender and personality of your character will determine how he or she describes, feels, and reflects on the action. If the story is third-person, pick an approach and stay with it. Remember that sex is about people, not just body parts, so let your characters tell you what happens to them.

It can be either way, detailed or not. Have you ever read the book Doing It? Yeah, it's all about doing 'it'. In many different ways. It's a funny book, but it's not something I'd nominate in book club. When vague sex scenes come up they usually say something vague (more vague than this sentence) or that 'they'd been together like never before' or something like that. It all depends on what your novel is about, what the tone is, and whether you want middle schoolers to be able to read it.

What I do, personally, is write out the entire sex scene in the first draft. All the actions, thoughts, emotions, everything. Then, when editing, I go back over it. I decide which parts are really necessary for the reader to know. Most of the specific actions get cut, though a few remain in, but with less detail. Thoughts/emotions get emphasized.
If you find that most of what you've written isn't necessary for the reader to know, then you should question why you decided your characters should have sex in the first place. In my opinion, it should show the reader something about the characters and their relationship, or it should advance the plot in some way. If those things aren't happening, you might consider cutting it entirely.

In my opinion, it completely depends on the voice and the level of detail in your novel, especially the way the narrator thinks about sex. Reading your summary, it sounds like the sex scenes would be pretty important since the novel focuses on the relationship between the two characters. Does Caroline have any previous sexual experience? How does she think about Nate in that way - is she consumed with lust, or more interested in their emotional connection?

I would give enough description to tell the story of the scene, but concentrate on the sex in the context of their relationship, instead of writing it to titillate - but you should still make it pleasant to read! ;) And please, avoid cliches and keep it realistic.

Wow, I didn't expect so many responses! Thank you all; this is all great advice and I'm sure it will make the scene in question much better.

Write how ever feels organic. Teens have sex and are really, really horny. Older teens, especially.

I have another problem. I'm comfortable with including sex in YA, but I never had to face this problem. My MC will have sex with two guys during the course of the story. To be honest, it didn't seem strange/"too much" to me, untill people pointed out. I still think it's essential for her to experience these two relationships, since they're vital for her character development.

Write it how you feel it works best. My characters will have sex, and I'll write as much detail as I see fit. YA refers only to the age of the protagonist, not to the material or subject matter.

Thanks for your replies! Like I said, I never gave it much thought, until people complained that a 17 year old girl having sex with two different guys (within 6 months period) is "too much". Now, I know stuff in books always seems "stronger" and it always feels like there's more of it than there really is (for example, you only need a few strategically placed f-words to convey a character who swears a lot), so I know two different boys in a book might seem like ten in reality and two sex scenes like "making out all the time".

Not that I judge negatively those who have more sexual partners, but I don't want my MC to seem promiscuous. It just doesn't fit her personality. However, the whole situation is just one of those things that happen a lot, especially when you're new to the whole dating thing and confused by your own feelings and you can't tell the difference between sexual attraction and love.

The first guy is her old crush, someone she liked for years, and he finally (finally!!!) starts paying attention to her. So she ends up having sex with him but after it she realizes he's not the one for her (and I'm not even talking about the "true love" sense; they're just not compatible at all), so she breaks up. And there's this other guy, who is compatible with her (first as a friend, later as a boyfriend), so she realizes her obsession with the first guy was meaningless, since she knew nothing about him. And her new boyfriend is kind and funny and just feels right and they are a good couple. So it makes sense to me that she'd want to sleep with him. I mean, it's stupid not to make her sleep with him just because she'd done it with another guy.

(Oh, and there's no love triangle of any sorts, just for the record. I hate those.)

Write it however it would been seen or felt from the POV of the character. In the Gossip Girl series(the first book especially) there are sex scenes and they are really graphic. I dont think there is really any line in the sand or anything like that. just keep it very organic and very real feeling. Just make sure the feelings of the MC come through well and that you also spend time focusing n the feelings and the relationship as well.