Some say that she speaks in 14pt Times New Roman, and that keyboards everywhere live in fear that she will some day own them.
All we know is, she's called Kelza.
Born in [error 404: year not found] in the proud town of Town, in the nation of Country, she was raised by geese in a local park and brought up entirely on bread and Sainsbury's shopping trollies. On a whim she joined a band of Intergalactic Super Ninjas, followed the Philosophy of the Platypus and, using a cheese grater alone, grated her way to the top.
Boredom gives her headaches and she's ridiculously prone to boredom itself. It's said that when the moon is blue she can talk to badgers. Reality is a mere concept, as is normality. She's also a massive fan of Pink Floyd.
She spends her time watching endless Top Gear, Stargate and Futurama re-runs. If she isn't in front of the telly she can usually be found sat at her desk, typing ten bells out of her keyboard. She traded her life in for a novel idea (one which she has been working on for several months now) and fears that she may have to put her sanity on e-Bay in order to finish it.
Her theme song today is 'Lunatic's Lament', but it changes frequently. As does her favourite colour. Oh, and the shape of her nose, if you look very carefully.
- Planet Gong
- Reading, writing, collecting and listening to odd music, painting, drawing, writing, time travelling, procrastinating.
- Favorite noveling music:
- Mike Oldfield, Caravan, Kevin Ayers, Pink Floyd, Gong, Soft Machine, Yes, Hatfield and the North
- Britain's Leading Cream Poet
- Favorite books or authors:
- Jonathan Coe, Terry Pratchett, Robert Rankin, Patrick Rothfuss, Douglas Adams, David Mitchell, Haruki Murakami, HG Wells, Jules Verne, Harper Lee, George Orwell