The first time I ever saw Audrey Tanner she looked like total shit. I saw her from across the emergency room at Foothills Hospital and she looked like shit, but I couldn’t stop staring at her. Maybe it’s rude to stare at people in the emergency room, especially people significantly covered in their own blood, but I couldn’t help it. She was sitting slumped in the corner in denim cut-offs and dirty flip flops (with even dirtier feet) and had blood from her nose to her breasts. Audrey Tanner looked like shit and she was still the most captivatingly beautiful girl I had ever seen. She looked as tough as she did vulnerable sitting there in that plastic waiting room chair and I said to myself “I love that girl. I don’t even know her name and I already know she is the love of my life.”
I turned to my brother Fred next to me and told him this out loud. “Freddie oh my god, look at that girl, I think I’m in love.”
He rolled his eyes at me. “Which girl?”
“What do you mean, ‘which girl’ Fred, that one. Fuck, she is actually the love of my life.”
My brother (far too used to my extreme exaggerations when it came to pretty girls) turned to me with a thoroughly unimpressed look on his face and said “Rose, you are such a lesbian. You have a new love of your life every week.”
I shook my head. “No bro, just look at her. All I want to do is get married and adopt foreign babies and hairless cats. I’m not even joking.”
“Lesssssssssssssbiannnnnnnnnnn” he slowly whispered under his breath.