Video games are a way of life. That is especially true for the Magister Chopin and his Fighter friend Jonny Carson who live in a world that is, essentially, a video game. To them, a Random Encounter is a natural occurrence and hunting for Loot is an adventure to be shared.
When their world is threatened by a big bad, Chopin and Carson must rise to the occasion and surpass the challenges of living where they do in order to save that way of life from being re-written. But the pals are under-leveled and equipped with gear fit for the fantasy equivalent of mall cops. Together, they have to find a way to properly prepare and charge into a dangerous, highly-fortified dungeon and defeat the toughest being in all of their world, The Final Boss.
A novel that attempts to blend fantasy and satire into one being (without ripping off Terry Pratchett) by having fun with the tropes that video games have bred over their existence, especially the ones in your favorite RPGs. From generic towns and NPCs in Final Fantasy to the newer fad of 'choice and consequence' ala Mass Effect and all the way back to things you might recall if you ever picked up a d20 and explored dungeons that may have had dragons in them, the humor in this story is aimed at the gaming generation.
Grab a health potion, a comfy chair padded with dire bear fur, and enjoy a tale of heroism, friendship, and sexual innuendos!
This is a special story. It’s all about me and my best friend coming together and adventuring with an extraordinary cause. It has monsters and magic, traps and tragedy, and perhaps most important of all, it has plenty of Loot in it. Does that get you going? Always does me. Maybe why I’m taking such care to tell the story, since it was so important to me. Oh, and to the world that I saved.
But hey, dude, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. I think it might be important to introduce you to some of the players in this story I’m about to get deep into. Namely, the best friend I mentioned and, of course, me. The others will come later, as we get to their key scenes. I picked that term up from an Actor. A level thirty-three Actor. You know he knew what was up.
My oldest pal and closest comrade is Carson, full name Jonny Carson. He’s a level sixteen Fighter, and man does he show it. He may not be the wittiest fellow to ever swing a sword and slap a Huwain around, but he probably has one of the biggest hearts out of anyone who has done either one of those things, and not only that, but he has six of them. That’s a particularly long health-bar for anyone at his level. It’s pretty important for him, heart, especially since he can be a total coward. Don’t get me wrong, Carson has no trouble facing down your typical wild beast or monstrosity, but sometimes he… loses his mettle at the most inconvenient of times. It could manifest in a sudden, involuntary ‘evacuation’ of the bladder or bouts of screaming for ‘Mommy!’. Those aren’t the most desirable traits in a Fighter, but what can you do? You are who you are. Besides, he’s still my closest friend and I trust him with my life. I’ve had to, on occasion.
Then there’s me. Chopin. Just Chopin. I’m a level seventeen Magister. Though my health-bar only stands at four hearts, I make up for that in sheer cleverness and magical prowess. I’m very close to reaching level eighteen, I believe, at which point I’ll receive a Promotion and be able to adopt a new Class altogether, further expanding my own personal bag of tricks. I’m not sure what I’ll become, quite yet. There’s the logical choice of sticking with magic-based life, like that of the Sage, in order to continue working on what I’ve already proven I’m good at. But sometimes I feel like I need a change in my life, a real swift kick in the rear to learn something new and exciting! To find something grand out there, in the world, and make it my own. Maybe I’d become a Swashbuckler and fight for the masses, or a Bard and learn the subtle art of music, or maybe I’d settle down and become a Priest, leading a quiet life of solitude and prayer. As if. Yick. No way am I going for one of those boring, Creator-obsessed Classes that go on and on about the meaning of this or the symbolism in that, or worse yet, where in the Ancestral Scrolls I can look to find out more about X.
But enough about that, eh? Nobody wants to hear an indecisive Magister prattle on about what path he’ll walk when his day finally comes and a nice Promotion finds him. Nobody. Ever. Besides, I don’t think I have to explain all that much more about myself. You have the gist, the essentials, the bottom-line. You’ll learn more as the story progresses! Same goes for Carson. It’s not like we’re unrealistic, one-dimensional cut-outs of people you’ve seen before. We’re our own men. Except that we’re totally young. We’re our own young men.
On to the story! On to adventure! On to high times!