with the almighty aid of Not-Planning-Beforehand, I managed to create the most impossible problem for my characters. I don't want any of my characters to die in this one, but the way it's looking, a mob might kill them all before I have a chance to scream an overdramatic "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" and I would rather not have them all be like "WHOOSH I'M GONNA USE MY MAGICAL POWERS TO GET OUT OF HERE" because that is cheap, even though this one is a fantasy.
So help please?
As of now, this story is stuck in a un-turn-on-able computer so I haven't seen it in a while, so I'm a little fuzzy about some of the plot details, which is just greeeeat because I need to explain a lot of backstory.
(Also this one is going to need a LOT of revision because it is not very good (okay honestly it's almost as bad as Eragon) but I don't want to totally give up on it.)
Okay SO.
My main character, who I named Feliv during a lapse in judgment, is a sorceress's apprentice. He was originally one of...five apprentices (which is unrealistic I know but just go with it). However, three of these ended up kicked out of their apprenticeships because, long story short, they were violent, jealous little punks. So this leaves Feliv and this chick (judgment-lapse name, again) Nerishi as the only ones left.
Anyway so basically Nerishi's skin gets all chapped or something like that and so one day the sorceress all makes this salve stuff for it and is all "give it to her" so Feliv goes to bring it to her but he like, trips over something and spills it on a tree but then the tree instantly dies so he's like "OH SNAP."
So he's all scared that the sorceress will get pissed at him for not (accidentally) killing the other girl so he goes and tells Nerishi about the whole thing and they decide that they need to pretend she's all severely sick from the stuff he "gave her" so that the sorceress thinks that her potion crap just didn't work. Also, they pretend that he was the one who made the stuff in the first place (but they say it wasn't supposed to be poisonous) so that the sorceress doesn't get in trouble. I can't remember why they protect her but there was a reason.
But unfortunately, the whole situation gets out of their hands when all the townspeople decide that Feliv did try to kill her and so they're like "punishment WHOO." He's protected for a while when they realize they can't prove anything, but after a while when Feliv and Nerishi can't figure out a way to just let her "get better," all hell breaks loose and everybody's just like "SCREW LAW WE DON'T CARE."
Ummmm so they're all taking law and punishment into their own hands, and basically the stress (combined with the unsanitary conditions of the "time period") makes Feliv develop a severe fever (we're talking delirium here) which does not help his situation.
Oh by the way somewhere around this time the sorceress figures out what's going on and she's all "aww well he's actually a nice boy. I sorta like him (in a purely nonromantic/nonsexual sense) DON'T DIE FELIV."
Anyway. I think at this point I have like, a lawyer from a larger city find out about the severe unlawfulness of the situation, though she doesn't really know any of the details, so she gets sent over by the legal system to check it out. At this point we find out that, while magic is commonplace in the town where the story is set, it's absolutely unheard of in other cities. We're talking burning-false-witches-at-stake here.
So we find our here all in the town jail in a state of temporary insanity.
How do I keep him alive? Because I don't want Feliv to die. And we can't go try and kill the sorceress, at least not yet, because we're kind of finding out at the moment that she's kind of AN ACTUAL PERSON WITH FEELINGS now and I'm not ready to kill her yet.
----------
50,025 / 50,000
May 24, 2008 - 12 50
First of all, that sounds amazing. I'd love to read it sometime.
Maybe the sorceress can somehow intercede? And say something like, 'Oh you can't kill them because then you will DIE!' or something like that; or maybe she spirits them away in the dead of night. If she still wants Nerishi to die, she can find a way to 'accidentally' leave her behind/get her caught.
Good luck <33
----------The Fear - NaNoWriMo 2008
50,348 / 50,000
May 28, 2008 - 12 07
Okay, some questions ...
Why did the sorceress want to kill Nerishi? Was it on purpose? An accident in the potion-making? Was she bribed to do it, threatened into doing it, or doing of her own volition? Was it a test of Nerishi's own innate magic, that she was supposed to survive it, maybe?
I mean, if we're not going to kill the sorceress yet, there must've been a good reason for her to do what she did. Especially if they're trying to protect her for some reason.
Why do the townsfolk care what happens to Nerishi? A general demand for justice, or are sorcerer's apprentices special? Usually apprentices are real low on the social ladder.
Maybe your lawyer character can find some evidence that points to his innocence. Like, the dead tree. Or Nerishi can say she was lying about the illness all along. Or somebody figures out she's faking.
Just some thoughts. I'm good at writing myself into corners, too.
50,492 / 50,000
May 29, 2008 - 08 10
"Why did the sorceress want to kill Nerishi?"
I can't really remember...I THINK I had it so that Feliv had some great, unlocked power that the sorceress found out about.
Through most of the story the sorceress is pretty much a sociopath I guess? So when the sorceress decided that she wanted to concentrate on Feliv, she saw murder as the easiest way to do that, and honestly it should have been the easiest way--except for that pesky tree ;)
"Why do the townsfolk care what happens to Nerishi?"
It's a pretty small village. I'm thinking like...population 150. She's a likable enough girl and the place is pretty tightly-knit. I guess from the people's POV it's like this random ~*magic*~ boy just all of a sudden decides to try and kill your little sister for some reason. You're probably going to want him to die.
"Maybe your lawyer character can find some evidence that points to his innocence. Like, the dead tree. Or Nerishi can say she was lying about the illness all along. Or somebody figures out she's faking."
:) I'll be sure to look back at this once I get all of my files back up-and-running. Thanks!
----------<33333333333333
50,492 / 50,000
Jun 16, 2008 - 08 32
Oh by the way...
The reason the younger-sibling-esque protection doesn't apply to Feliv as well is that 1) he is kind of weird and 2) he is an orphan so he doesn't automatically get the oh-his-parents-are-nice-people rapport and ALSO because 3) you would probably still be pretty pissed if your little brother tried to kill your little sister.
You know.
Tried to kill your little sister but then KIND OF FAILED. From where these people are coming from, it looks to them like instead of at least dying quickly and painlessly, she's having to suffer through this terrible illness while the person responsible walks around free.
That might clear things up. I don't know.
----------50,027 / 50,000
Jun 16, 2008 - 22 51
Reading that synopsis, I kept thinking that salve might still have worked on Narisi, even though it killed the tree. Trees and Narisi are very different creatures; the tree could have just had a bad reaction to the salve. It could make for a funny twist that the whole conflict was pointless, but that seems a little underhanded.
As for what Feliv could do in jail, maybe for some reason, Narisi is lauded for having survived his "torment" as is immediately made Deputy Sorceress or something. The Sorceress find this a funny turn of events, so she goes with it, despite her initial plan to kill or weaken her (I imagine she's pretty take-it-as-it-comes with these things). This initially makes Narisi rather heady, since she dreamed about this, so she briefly forgets about Feliv, but right when his execution or something is announced, she risks her high standing and career to save him.
Or, another way, a couple of those failed apprentices break Feliv out of the clink with the magic powers they gained by themselves, and want his help to get back at the Sorceress and save Narisi. Surprise! Intrigue! Deceit! Espionage! Life on the run! And those "other three apprentices" mentioned have some relevance to the story! We have the makings of a juicy little tale here!
----------NaNoWriMo 2007:
WHIZ-BANG FANTASTIC - 51,296 words (and counting!)
50,492 / 50,000
Jun 17, 2008 - 13 19
That's...that's the most brilliant thing I've heard all week.
I want to use that now. Like...really really badly. Unfortunately I can't--it's important to the plot that the sorceress tried to kill her. Or at least that she had a motive to try and get rid of her.
That is also a really creative and awesome idea. Seriously. Like...why are you giving it to ME awesome.
Good thing this also doesn't work because the sorceress isn't exactly rolling with the punches lately. She's kind of...in the middle of a self-crisis thing if I remember correctly, and everything she does has a lot of meaning in regards to who she is.
I want to bring the others back into the story somehow, but that way won't work...I didn't really expound on it earlier. The reason they got kicked out was because they were jealous of the sorceress being impressed with Feliv's mad skills (she's way sexy and they are horny teenagers ok D:) and got together in order to beat the living snot out of him, which they partially did before Nerishi saved his butt. They hate him.
Frig. Just found a plot hole. How come they were able to use magic to beat him if he was so SKILLED? I guess I'll have to go back and make him a pacifist. Which is ironic, considering everyone thinks he goes around trying to kill people.
I'm really sorry I wasn't able to use any of your suggestions, but it did help me to be able to step back and look at all these things from wildly different perspectives. Maybe the reason I'm so stuck is because I haven't been trying that.
Thank you! ♥♥♥
----------