Nightmare Dates : Round 2wo

a vegetarian health-nut and a red-meat-lovin' smoker.

the girl can't talk about anything she didn't see on a reality TV show.

the girl has horrendous body odor.

she laughs like a banshee (sp?).

she somehow throws up on him.

she can't stop talking about her ex-boyfriend cheating on her.

Melissa
-----(the poet who would try to write a novel)

She keeps babbling about her dog

She claims she knows like a million languages, including Esperanto, and insists on his listening to her saying "Hello, my name is ----" in each and every one.

Likewise, she insists on him listening to her last home-made song. PUblicly. Badly. Humiliatingly.

She keeps cracking her knuckles, her kneebones, her spine and her neck- which makes him cringe wildly.

She stares at him without blinking, while she asks him all sorts of personal questions.

I can't think of anymore right now...but you could open any Cosmopolitan issue, find the Do's and the Don'ts and viceversize them.

Writers don't have secrets.

NaNo 2007: MALDURMIENDO

A couple of personal real-life examples... I went out on a date with a guy I met online (BIG mistake). Though everything in our profiles made us seem compatible, after we sat down and started talking, the chemistry was nonexistent. Also, everything I tried to offer in the conversation as an interest... Apparently I'd REALLY be compatible with his brother.

A date that was actually going *very* well...but ended badly: A good guy friend and I had gone to another friend's wedding. A few drinks made going "parking" seem like a good idea. We drove out a deserted dead-end road. We were somewhat "indisposed" when...a cop car pulled up behind us. As he buttoned his pants and I tried to zip my dress back up, we answered the officer's questions about who we were, why we were there, etc. My answer of "we're just talking" was met by "obviously not" from the officer, and we were sent home. Thankfully not arrested for indecent exposure... Though, possibly only because I tossed out my rather well-known father's name...

Sigh. I could be your female MC! ;-)

Most things in life can be described in one of two ways: a good time, or a good story.

One thing that really drives me crazy on a date, and in real life, is people who chew with their mouth open. Talking with food in one's mouth, making horrible eating sounds ~ all of those things are a huge turn off during a date.

Now, for an actual date experience...
I went out on a decent date with a guy. We had an enjoyable time, except the fog rolled in while we were at the drive-in and we didn't really get to SEE the movie. The problem came after he dropped me off. He lived a couple towns over and in Maine, that can be a lot of driving.
First he got pulled over for having a headlight out. He got a warning. The next town he got puled over for his headlight and got a ticket. The next town he got pulled over for the headlight out and only had to show his ticket and was let go. Then, when he was one town from his own a couple police cars started following him - no lights or sirens. When he crossed into his own town more police cars and a state police car joined in following him. When he finally pulled into his driveway there was about ten police cars on his tail. They barriaded his car in the driveway and told him to get out of his car slowly and keep his hands where they could see them. They patted him down and went through his car. As they were trying to figure out what to do the call came in that they caught the real suspect. Turns out he and his car matched the desrciption of someone who'd just held up a 7/11 for a good deal of money and beer and cigarettes.
We decided that we might not be going out again after all that bad luck.

Ken

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"Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards." R Heinlein

My last date was a lunch date where I was just coming down with the flu, but refused to cancel (it was with a guy that I'd met at a wedding the year before, corresponded with for a year, and who was stationed overseas with the Army and only in town for three days; I was GOING on that date). He was fighting off a headache after only three hours of sleep (he'd gotten locked out of his hotel and had to sleep in his car), and I was fighting my upset stomach, and actually threw up in the middle of lunch. Long story short, it didn't work out.

Also, I went to see Knocked Up on a date. You do not want to see the shot of the baby's head crowning on a first date, trust me.

Give him a date that freaks out. Like, have the date go well, and then have the girl start yelling at him for being possessive and creepy and what-not, especially if she was starting to be overly clingy/weird.

Have her date bring along her friends, and leave every ten seconds to talk with them about him.

His date could be a huge complainer, whining about everything- the restaurant, his clothes, etc. and then have her bail on him.

Or better yet- have the girl insist on choosing everything- a really nice restaurant, a specific movie/play, etc. and bail on him halfway through (After he's paid for everything), while texting with her friends the entire night about him.

Hope any of that helps! :>

2005- The Valley- Won
2006- Lesser evil- Won
2007- Darkest Night

I have a friend who went out with a guy she randomly met during high school, and at some point during the date she found out he was in his mid-20s. I don't know how old your character is, but when you're young an age difference can really freak you out. During the same date, they went to a driving range and he trend to do the thing where you stand behind the girl and show her how to swing, and she hit him in the face with a driver. Needless to say, there was not a second date.

Just call me Queen of Awkward Silences and of Wiggling Exposition Into Inappropriate Places.

2007 working title: Crapsterpiece

Here's another real life experience:

My best friend had just hooked up with a new guy she met over the internet, whom she didn't know very well and was keeping at arm's length. He knew that she and I were nearly inseparable, though he'd never met me, and he had a friend that she had never met who he wanted to set up on a date with me, mostly as an excuse to get her to go somewhere with him. It was a double/blind date all rolled into one. The idea was to go see a movie and go home, so I decided there was no harm in going along with it--and there wasn't any harm done, in retrospect. It just didn't go over well.

Her "boyfriend" ended up being a total jerk who spent the entire evening frowning at me over her head and acting jealous every time she or I spoke to one another, and my "date," who was sitting next to me and me only, spent the entire time leaning as far as he possibly could in the -opposite- direction, never saying a word to anybody. Then later, her "boyfriend" tried to tell her that he (being my "date") had really liked me and wanted to go out again. Hah! It was the most boring and awkward date I'd ever witnessed (and I wouldn't even begin to call it a real date on my part). Talk about a nightmare.

"Und eef dey don't vant to dance ... ve beats dem vith a steeck!"

Number one way not to get a second date . . . ask your date to marry them on the first date.

Happened to me. I didn't see him again.

-------------------------
Odd One Out: Reality with a refreshing slice of aspie

Nano 2006 - "Tremble" - 62K
Nano 2007 - "Breathe" - 50K (and still going!)

Dating difficulty: Language barrier.

About five or so years ago, this girl randomly messaged me on MSN. Apparently she'd found my screenname through a search and because I was at work and bored to death, I replied. She was Italian, but since I can read Italian pretty well and she understood some English, we managed to have a few reasonably interesting and entertaining conversations. I was going to be in Italy later that year and would be passing through her town, so we decided to meet up. And we did, and it turned out that we had NOTHING to say to each other. She was so shy in person that she refused to speak English at all, and my ability to speak Italian is rapidly reduced to zero when I don't have the time to double-check my grammar, so most of our communications were monosyllabic. We ended up sitting at McDonald's for about an hour, staring at the wall and toying with our fries. Then we left, promising to e-mail, which neither of us ever did. No dice.

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

NaNo2005: "Barefoot" - Winner!
NaNo2006: "Break the Skin" - Winner!
NaNo2007: "Chances&Choices"- .... Winner!!

Maybe your guy finds out that the girl is actually a thief, or some other kind of criminal.

Or if he found her on the internet, he sees her and shes about 15 years older, and 100 pounds heavier than her picture.

Maybe a food allergy, which makes her super nervous about ordering food. She has to make sure the meat has been cooked to exactly y degrees, and has been stored in a temp of exactly x degrees, etc. She would also ask the waiter many questions about their preparations for the food etc.

She has a fear of whatever drink he orders, and then sits through the whole meal eyeing his glass with a sick look on her face.

ALSO:
Maybe you should add some really bad offers for dates. (Maybe some girls are actually outgoing enough to ask guys out?) Someone at the bus stop, with many piercings and tattoos scares your MC half to death with her offer. A lady nearly runs him over at a crosswalk, then apologises and asks if she could make it up to him by buying him coffee sometime. (But then she turns out to be really really wrong if they do go for coffee.)

Wow, there are so many funny things that could come out of bad date ideas. I came with only one idea, and it morphed. Yay for practice in rambling and coming up with random ideas! I'll definitely need it come November.

Writers are dreamers with good grammar skills.

Psalm 55:22a "Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you."
Right now I'm mostly worried about surviving November! (It's my first year!)

Two possible senarios (both happened to me)
First one: I went out with a guy who told me on the first date he wanted to carry on his family name, kept preaching to me, then got us lost in a major city on three different ocassions, and then on top of everything, he apologized for every single little thing until I was ready to slap him.
Second one: This one wanted a trophy preacher's wife and to have as many kids as God was willing to give us. He also thopught we could live on three hundred a week without me working and being a stay at home wife.

Hope this helps

When I was in high school, I accepted a summer date with a cute football player that I had known for years as a casual friend.

We went to see a movie, and did the normal sweaty hand-holding/arm around thing. After the movie he asked me if I had to get right home or would like to go do something else. I was so naive - in my circle that meant Dairy Queen or Denny's.

Nope, we drove up to Inspiration Point for a round of parking. He had horrible halitosis so making out wasn't much fun, and I said no to anything more adventurous. Disappointed, he decided it was time to leave - and we found he'd gotten his truck stuck. He had to call his brother to tow us out. "Uh, yeah, we were just out four-wheeling at midnight".

We kept our sense of humor about it, and ended the evening by taking his truck to the car wash. He took me home, kissed me goodbye, and we never went out again.

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Jeri
http://smugpuppies.com

Planning a perfect date out, and saying something that makes it go horribly wrong. She crosses her arms, she won't even look at me. She's crossed. Then proceeds to give me the silent treatment for the rest of the night. When I ask what's wrong, she barks at me, as if it's my fault, maybe I'm oblivious to the fact. Was ready to tell her that I loved her, we had a big fight and never really talked again.

2006 - Reflection
2007 - Lost and Found

This wasn't actually a date but I was ready to strangle him.

I met him at a dance and then a few nights later my best friend called me and said he was really interested in me. So he and I met up on Sunday night to work on homework, adn we studied together for about two hours. He was a little handsy but by scooting my chair a bit away from him, he got the picture.

Until he walked me back to my dorm and tried to French kiss me. Needless to say, nothing more came of that.

The real hero is always a hero by mistake; he dreams of being an honest coward like everyone else.

- Umberto Eco

organised a date with someone and well they had tickets to see this play... problem is the play runs over two nights, its 8 hours worth of theatre in total, part 1 is four hours, part 2 is another four hours.... at pre theatre dinner and drinks I think we'd allready worked out we probablt weren't for each other but we'd made this commitment to some damn play to see it through for another 8 hours... was the play worth it --- no... wound up to be quite horrendeous and horrible with just really obscene stuff in it, too much toilet humour, cross dressing and just blood and guts and stuff to make you squirm.... why oh why did this ever happen...

__________________________

- words dancing in the wind, scattered into sentences, blown into my mind -

Mine was when I made a secret assignation to go out with an engaged man (minor detail), but his fiancee got wind of it, and when I went to meet him - turned up too! (We pretended we were only meeting as friends to do some research but I was livid with him for being bullied into fessing up!) He went on to split from her - quel surprise - and was the real love of my life. Despite the horrific start.

Ah and a blind date with someone who had seemed eminently compatible online and was a friend of a mutual friend so I thought there was no harm in it.... I agreed to meet him at a train station thinking I could take a look at him and run the opposite direction if I didn't like him.... I was walking round this pillar, and coming towards me from t'other side was the UGLIEST man I ever saw - he had something wrong with one of his eyes, really odd - my mobile rang. I answered it - and it was him! Nowhere to run! I had to spend the day with him. Yuck! Worse still, he was obviously thrilled at scoring so above his league that he went on all day about me looking like some soap actress I'd never heard of and had no clue about, and put me on a pedestal and was just generally embarrassing, acting like a lapdog and hanging on my every word. Never saw him again, needless to say.

I had a mate who was on AOL and used to send men pictures of herself years ago, when she was a normal weight - but now she was a size 26 or something (US that would be size 22?) and only five foot tall and, to add to it, had unexplained alopecia so had to wear a wig. She'd never tell them about the weight and the baldness til just before she met them - and usually they were too polite to back out. She had one relationship with a bloke who turned out to be a compulsive liar, and mentally ill, so although the dates were her idea of a dream come true, it turned out rather than the MD of some posh company, he was an unemployed weirdo with a very dodgy past.

Ah and one other that happened to me - I'd forgot (blanked it?) My ex wouldn't take me out on Valentines Night because he said the restaurants charged extra and it would be too expensive. Took me out a couple of nights later but for some reason I never got to the bottom of, was in a foul mood. We started at a cafe at the local arthouse cinema and he picked up a newspaper, started reading as if it was the most exciting thing ever and literally ignored me. Rather than get angry - which would have caused a scene, with him - I reacted coolly but nevertheless he then got mad that I was upset, so started this interminable LOUD cockney rant at me, getting increasingly abusive and personal. I think in those 10 minutes he said to me the worst things anyone had ever said to me. He decided to leave the cafe and went to the loo in the basement, all the way down the stairs still hurling really crazy and loud abuse at me. He was so weird, a young man (total stranger) came up to me, who'd come out of the Gents and said he'd walked in there still ranting to himself and the stuff he'd said was so abusive and offensive, did I want him (the young lad) to 'punch his lights out'. I didn't go for the meal but went home instead.

From personal experience:
A friend and I had been interested in each other, but then had moved on to separate relationships. No big deal. We both end up single a few months later and agree to go on a date. He ended up being one of those people who is TERRIFIED of silence, and filled any awkward silences with more awkward remarks about things his ex girlfriend used to do.
To make matter worse, it turned out that this ex girlfriend (that he was definitely not over) had been my friend for a few years. Rather than realizing that I was now able to connect all the things she had been saying about her crappy boyfriend with my current date, my date took this as an amazing coincidence and spent the rest of the date asking me questions about her!

The best part? He called me later that night to ask me out again because he was completely oblivious to his craziness.

Well, this wasn't exactly a date, but it was reallllllllly akward.

So, the guy that I was going to prom with and I were staying after school for a club meeting, and one of our teachers came in the room. After hearing that we were going together, he started into a long story about his prom, and how he didn't realize that his date was disappointed that he didn't have sex with her until one of his friends pointed it out. Needless to say, the guy and I were wishing the ground would swallow us up, as those were images we didn't need, and also pressure about what should/shouldn't happen on our prom date.

I was asked out by this really cute guy in my French class back in college. He would follow me around after class (somehow this was actually successfully flirtatious, most likely because he was drop-dead gorgeous painting student). FInally I gave in and agreed to go with him and his high school friends to one of the friend's winter houses on Diamond Lake (Oregon). I had a long background of downhill skiing and mountain experience. He mentioned there would be some cross country skiing, I said fine. i had never done cross country skiing (we were downhill snobs), but I figured, how hard could it be...

We got ready for the trip. He said we'd have to make dinner one of the nights, so I said fine and put together some stuff. So we drive five hours to the lake and get out of the truck and he says "Okay put on your skies!"

Ummm...

"We're going to ski to the cabin. It's five miles!"

Worms, Roxanne, worms!

In college my next door neighbor asked me out. He was a foreign student, the son of some country's Minister of Economy. He was a nice enough guy and I didn't have anything going on.

He picked me up in a brand new Porsche. When I got in, I almost sat on a long-stemmed red rose and a bottle of perfume (not eau de anything, or essence, actual perfume, like $100 in 1987 terms). Then he took me out to our city's finest restaurant for a huge dinner featuring lobster.

This guy was nice, but he was....oooooh.....dull. And he had a kind of permanent film on his teeth. He had excellent intentions and if there had been any spark at all we could have gone on to interesting things..but....oooooh.....

By the time dinner finished it was still light out and there was no further plans. I had him drive us home and we changed our clothes and I took him out to an insane blues bar with music so loud I wouldn't have to maintain conversation.

I don't remember ever seeing him again.

But then shortly after that I ran off to Turkey and met my soul mate.

Worms, Roxanne, worms!

Two real life examples, one horrible, and the other funny.

In high school, I got introduced to a friend of a friend over the phone. We hit it off and had a lot of great hone conversations. I had to really battle with my parents to be allowed to go on a date with this guy they hadn't met, but they relented in the end. On the day of the date, I sat on the front steps, obviously dressed up for a date. He pulled up and got out of his car, and he looked like he was half frightened to death. He came over and asked me where "Jennifer" was. I told him I was Jennifer, and he looked so relived he might have almost thrown up. We drove off, but he wouldn't talk to me! Finally he blurted out that our mutual friend had told him that I had horrible birth defects (missing body parts, etc) and that the friend had wanted us to get to know each other on the phone so I would at least have a chance. You would have thought that he would have been glad that it was just a joke (a really, really horrible joke), but he was just so mad at the whole thing that he didn't talk to me the whole date.

Now for the funny one. I was up late with a new boyfriend, it was probably only our second date. we were watching this awful horror movie with some friends. The movie was about some teenagers staying in a cabin in the woods, and there was a killer in the cabin. One of my friends and I both had to go to the bathroom, but she went first. By the time it was my turn, I really had to go, VERY BADLY. When I got to the bathroom, I couldn't turn on the light. I was dancing and squirming around, almost peeing my pants, I thought my friend thought it was some kind of joke, maybe she unscrewed the lightbulb to scare me, like in the movie. I finally couldn't hold it any longer, and blindly felt around for the toilet, found it, tore off my pants, sat down and.... the lid was down. It was too late, I was peeing everywhere, and it was hitting the lid and spraying onto my clothes and the carpet. WHAT THE HECK WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO???? I had to call down the stiars to my friend, who got me some clean clothes. All the guys gave em a pretty funny look when I came down, but no one asked. I actually endid up dating that guy for a few years, and told him MUCH, MUCH later what had happened.

:) Jen