What does oral sex feel like for men?

I can't really describe it, but I can tell you how to find out: have a friend perform "oral sex" on your finger, doing everything they'd do to a man. Then, imagine how much stronger the sensations are on something with as many nerve-endings as a man's phallus. Don't try doing it yourself, because it'd be hard to separate the sensations of your mouth from those of your finger.

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Blackout in Tinseltown 2004 (Winner)
The Door Into No Place 2005 (Winner)
For the Good of the Legion 2006 (Winner)
Bottled in Blonde 2007 (Winner)

Fantastic suggestion, Sideburns. I would add the caveat that she NOT close her eyes. Most men are visually aroused, so it's not just the feeling of what's going on, but the sight of it, too.

Hmm. Let's see. The penis when it's aroused is exquisitely sensitive over its whole area. If you have had your inner thigh stroked, kissed or licked during foreplay, it's that kind of a sensation, but multiplied by a lot. However, it is not equally sensitive everywhere. It is most sensitive just under the head, especially under the inverted 'v' at the front. The greatest physical pleasure comes from working that area with the lips and especially the tongue. The so-called deep-throat, on the other hand, can be psychologically a very exciting sensation, with its undertones of 'perverted' sex. As the poster above said, the visual aspect is nearly as important as the sensation. The actual course of arousal etc. is exactly the same as for sex, which is pretty much the same as for sex in women.

OK, not sure how I ended up here, but terribly curious now.

In my storyline, I've envisioned a couple of erotic scenes (just to spice it up) and I've done a little reading already on that subject of oral (I was surprised how many "how to's" were out there). Anyway, wanted to figure out "how to write" so the scene is descriptive enough to be captivating without turning into porn.. I think it may end up more along a romance genre, but only for that chapter.

Poster - "Still crazy". I have to ask - What is considered the "front"? When flaccid that side would be front, when aroused, what was the back is now front... (I'm assuming this is the "front" you're referring to)

And are we going to get "dinged" by the webmaster for this thread? Jeepers. I need to go back and read the posting rules again...

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acbs...

If it isn't done well, it doesn't feel like much of anything. A mouth isn't really tight, at least not compared to other holes you commonly stick a penis into, and the sensation of 'suction' is much different from 'a hard squeeze'.

Hard sucking will make a penis harder, for the same reason that those penis pump things are used to make guys feel better about themselves. It's like putting a marshmallow in one of those vacuum bell jars, complete with the "if you vacuum it too much, all the little air bubbles pop and the marshmallow deflates". Except you probably can't suck that hard.

The tongue, which is somewhat rough, is going to be naturally aligned with the uh... frenulum? (That's basically the thing right on the underside of the glans of a penis.) Thus, you can get some tingly stimulation there.

Having had oral and anal sex, oral sex is a very subtle sensation, even when being deep-throated. Anal sex is a very intense sensation. If you let the head of the penis rub against the inside of a cheek, the roof of the mouth, or the tongue, it's more intense... but just a soft lipping? Boring.

To elaborate on HawkWolf's post, oral sex can feel as "nothing" as sitting in a warm bath, or very intense both because of the physical pleasure and the psychological kink, depending on how it's done.

In addition there are novelty variations on oral sex, that change the feeling of it. Examples:
- Have a curiously strong mint in your mouth at the time (both numbs and intensifies)
- Hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.... while deep-throating
- Lots of saliva
- Pinching off the nose with thumb and forefinger while deep-throating - a form of edge / breath play
- Ice in the mouth
- A tongue stud
- A vibrating tongue stud
- Hair bunching at the back of the head in one's fist, to press the person closer and express both desire and dominance
These are but a few.

The teasing done by the tongue is more important than the lips - and the pressure / friction you can muster are more important than either, in my opinion. Sucking is not pressure - it is the opposite of pressure! yes, makes the man hard - for the same reason a balloon expands on an airplane. The lips can provide some pressure, the tongue can stimulate, but the cheek, roof of the mouth, throat, etc are all lovely things to rub against.

A *vibrating* tongue stud? My goodness, they do think of everything!

The front is facing forwards when it's standing up straight - that's where the inverted 'v' is.

And I don't think we'll get dinged. Aphrodisia asked 3 days ago was it okay, and she hasn't been told no.

And, not to put too fine a point on it, but the fellas I've had oral congress with very much liked the involvement of hands and stimulation of more than just the member being slobbered on *giggle*

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Moondazed

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. ~ Anais Nin

Nope, no dings! Everyone's handling it all maturely. (And I'm guesing accurately!)

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NaNoWriMo & ScriptFrenzy Staff

*raises hand* yep, that's me!

*whew!* Always good to get reassurance that I'm doing it right *giggle*

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Moondazed

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. ~ Anais Nin

With all of the "Not much" comments, I'm surprised that guys seem to love oral sex so much. What's up with that?

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"Between me and life there is a mist of words always." Wilde

Oral sex can be just like regular sex in one particular way,
alot of it is all about the mental.

I've had girls who don't care at all, or think they know all about "what I want" and just do their own thing.
The best blowjob i've ever had was a girl who wanted, i mean really wanted, to get me off with her mouth.

She had been with me long enough to know the things i like, Perenium play (the bundle of nerves right below the base of the penis), hand strokes, and lots of eye contact.

It was fantastic, the various sensations of skin, and mouth, and her desire, being able to feel the desire through her eyes, her motions, her pulse beating into me.

The force of the orgasm i had was enough to knock me unconscious for a few seconds. I literally thought in colours as i came around. (i've never done drugs in my life, but i wonder if that is what it felt like to be high)

Oral sex can be a lot more intimate than PIV than anal, because for the most part the objective isn't to get you off but your partner, and the thoughts and desires, for both the giver and receiver, can be far stronger and have a greater reaction.

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Along the lines of the mental part.
There is an added element of the vulnerability the man feels when recieving oral sex.
It is a position where his partner is in control and capabable of causing him extreme harm.
There is no more vulnerable spot on a man's body, It is extreamly erotic to trust your partner to that level of vulnerability.

I think part of it is visual as well. Men tend to be very visual when it comes to sex (e.g., leave the lights on...).

Watching your partner take you in her (or his) mouth is very arousing.

That probably doesn't help with what it feels like, but it is an important element.

That's the very point. Everyone makes such a big deal of how awesome oral is for a man - and it can be awesome! But it also can be...not much - and that is something a woman writing a man's PoV might not realize. Sometimes it's not much because of the way the woman does it, sometimes it's not much because of the physical or mental state the man is in, sometimes because the couple just isn't working as a couple.

Something else to consider concerning the sensation of fellatio for a man. Perhaps the best euphamism I've heard for the sensation is "warm, wet, and weightless". It takes a bit of creative thought to understand what that means, but consider the sensations accompanied with regular intercourse. There's always a lot more going on than just the sensation of penetration; usually, you're either supporting your own weight or your partners weight, contact points at your elbows, knees, and feet with the bed or floor, etc. Also, a wide swath of contact with your partner about the regions of the hips and thighs.

Fellatio entails none of these things, at least, not depending on the position you're in. A man's phallus hangs out in space, and though there is little to no contact anywhere else, there is extreme sensation on his member. Imagine the way gooseflesh runs up your back if you put just one hand under a stream of hot water. Not only is the isolation of sensation intense, but also, again, it's very satisfying to receive pleasure when you've not supporting a load of weight on any of your joints.

Hope that helps, and I hope it made sense.

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Eric
2005 -- "Untitled" -- <5,000
2006 -- "Millions" -- 20,136

"Having a general law attorney on retainer is a bit like having a manservant."
"You mean, he's diddling the maid?"
- Millions, 2006

Wow, that was deep! Thank you for sharing :)

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Moondazed

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. ~ Anais Nin

That is very helpful, thank you.

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"Between me and life there is a mist of words always." Wilde

Amber, regarding the psychological / mental aspects of fellatio, I've also been told that another reason it 's so important to men is that it gives them the feeling of being totally accepted. To take a man into your mouth, you are worshipping and respecting his penis as much as he does, and he feels that every part of him is truely, unconditionally loved.

And some might wonder: He feels even stronger acceptance from you if you swallow, which is why it matters so much to some men that you do.

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~Phyllis~

Some great posts here. Some more angles:

His hands:

"Lying there and letting it happen without touching her" is a possibility of course.

But we're wired - well some of us - to enjoy grabbing someone and thrusting into them. Passive acceptance of suckling, no matter how appealing the suckler, can't necessarily make it awesome, since there's so much of us not being used. Thrusting affects all sorts of muscles wired for pleasure around the prostate.

Personally, I tend to be torn. Part of me wants to hold her head in my hands, pull her against me. Part of me says "no, this is bad: grant her control of it. forcing yourself into her mouth and choking your loved one with your cock is bad, m'kay?" I obey the polite part, and wonder...

Choking:

Actually, if she chokes on it a little, that's kinda hawt.

Cut vs uncut:

As with masturbation, significant difference here. The advice that "the most sensitive part of the penis is at the bottom of the head by the V" - well, I've read this in a lot of places, and maybe for those who are cut, this holds true. Uncut, I find this area to be the least sensitive area of my head. The rest is like a jangling nerve-ending of pleasure-pain hypersensation, the rasp of a tongue over it like sandpaper, almost too much to bear in the shivvering of pleasure it sends through me.

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Buddies welcome, scripts discussed, etc :)

Aphrodisia, I sent you a PM....

I must be the only person who doesn't like being given oral sex. It feels as though someone is breathing hard and slobbering over your willy. You get sexually excited but there isn't enough pressure or movement to make you climax, and at the same time you really don't want to get all that ghastly mess into your friend's mouth. Eugh!

Ken Johnson

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Script Frenzy 2008: The Cross Dressing Detective
NaNoWriMo 2007 winner: Hell and Highwater
Occasional Trainer's Diary

Just to weigh in - I'm in the category of guys who think the physical joy of most oral sex is 'not much' - but I really love getting it, almost exclusively for the energy exchange But then, I'm into D/s, which is all about head trips anyway -- and obviously, oral sex and D/s can fit together real well.

Now, my partner happens to love giving oral sex, so this isn't any kind of 'against her will' power game. But I *really* get off on making her want it, seeing her lust, on having her kneel in front of me, and then have her obey me when I tell her to do it. It's a power trip, no question.

And when we're in the bedroom and I'm playing with her, making her stay active by sucking me while I do all sorts of things to her gets us both off. She goes straight into subspace (submissive headspace), and I go straight into Domspace, and it becomes a bit dreamlike as we just get into the rhythm of things. Having her do that also has the advantage of keeping me physically stimulated while I'm concentrating on her, so when it comes time to move to regular intercourse, I'm already hard.

I totally agree that one of the joys of oral is the seeing and feeling the sense of acceptance from my partner. I like knowing that she's not just passively letting me boff her while she concentrates on her own pleasure (as my ex did - and my ex hated giving head), but instead *actively* wants me, wants to please me, and is actually willing to *do* something to show that fact.

Galen

I like the closeness, and probably some of the d/s stuff, but, then, given that I'm not interested in anal sex, and a handjob seems a bit mechanical, there isn't much else left to do, really. :)

I'm not especially visual, despite being a man, but it is kind of nice to watch. Of course, given that I couldn't possibly take all of the boyfriend, he doesn't get that visual thrill. :)

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The bankers and the diplomats are going in the army - it seemed a shame to keep them from the wars that they have planned. MALVINA REYNOLDS

I'm glad I'm not the only one that just went "wow, what a concept! ... who the hell came up with that."

And where do the batteries go? Sorry, off topic >.>

Ontopic: Umm, wet. And not nearly as much sensation as sex; as mentioned above the mouth doesn't feel like it's wrapping around you the way other areas do. I've never thought all that much of the act (whereas most boys from experience tend to think it's amazing. Wait, not experience, word of mouth.) but I'm unsure whether that's to do with the mental aspect or the girls simply not being that good at it.

Actually to add to the mental part: The best one I can ever think of receiving was one occasion while doing the same to the girl. So yeah, the mental and visual stimulation is a huge part.

I'm not sure if the "front/back" issue is relevant to those men who have not - because they're American or Jewish - been subjected to the genital mutilation known as "circumcision".

(Any uncut men out there care to enlighten us? Any commentary from those who went through the reconstructive surgery that came out a decade or so ago?)

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author * artist
philosopher * madman

While this is perfectly true, it's not always necessarily set that way. I've had an ex that loved doing it, but apparently it was a completely selfish act, since none of the other nicer interractions happened anymore at that point in the relationship. So I feel a little jaded towards the idea that it's all about acceptance. I mean, a lot of it is, just noting that the female might not be doing it in that regard (I'm not saying everyone watch out, but it might be a point for a character in a story to be used somewhere~)

Oh, I wasn't implying that it was *always* about acceptance; it's just one variation (?) that I happen to really enjoy. Virtually any act (not just sexual) can be done for a host of reasons, with a host of different associated emotions - e.g. there's a huge difference between a loved one serving you a meal, versus an irritable waitress doing exactly the same.

Galen