You struggle to tear your slack-jawed gaze from the fishbowl sitting on your dusty TV stand. Your goldfish, Delroy, hasn’t moved in days, but still you sit there, waiting, hoping that the fish is simply suffering debilitating ennui.
Drops strike the plastic sheet where the windowpane once stood before you tossed your TV through it in a fit of anger. Anger at the fish for not eating. You gave it the last piece of pizza but would it eat the pizza? No. The little, scaly jerk turned up his nose and swam to the little plastic castle decorating the corner of the otherwise empty fishbowl, rooting for remnants of those little flakes your dimwit cousin always dropped into the tepid water. You miss your cousin so much. And why was he sitting beneath the window anyway? Couldn’t he have dodged the TV set instead of letting it crush his skull?
The wind rises. The plastic-sheet window flaps like a kite. You think of words. Thousands upon thousands of words. Was it just a year ago? A year ago you felt hope. A year ago you were on top of the world. A year ago you thought you could write like no one else. But then Saskatchewan challenged you and beat you in a friendly writing competition. Your friends abandoned you. Your co-workers snickered. Little children pointed at you and laughed and threw rotten bananas at your house in the night. Your confidence fizzled. You became a pariah. No one would talk to you. No one but your dimwit cousin.
Lightning punctuates the dimness. Thunder peels, barely audible over the sounds of pigs picking the decaying flesh from your cousin's bones. Maybe you can do it this year. Maybe you can beat the good looking, talented Saskatchewanians in a friendly writing competition. Which region will produce more winners? Which region will write the most words? Which region will be most productive on a per-author basis? Why is Saskatchewan so awesome?
The first hailstone tears through the plastic. A pig squeals in pain. Cool winds blow in through the torn plastic sending sheets of paper fluttering off the coffee table onto the floor. You decide to accept the competition, to try to redeem yourself, to write like you never wrote before. What do you have to lose? Your sanity? That was lost long ago. You fetch the scattered papers and spread them across the table. You won't lose this year. You won't. You can't. You won’t.
The wind carries derisive children's laughter into the room. You prick your finger and begin making strokes on the page in your own blood. The challenge is answered. May the best region win.
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Saskatchewan's International Ambassador
Script Frenzy 2007 Velocitized | Script Frenzy 2008 The Malevolent Planet Hypothesis
7,460 / 50,000
Oct 28, 2007 - 12 43
Well, well, well - look at who we've found here! Get ready for a word-count pummeling! I'm feeling especially erudite this year...
(If you would like to get in on the fun with us in Saskatchewan, feel free to join us and the people of Adelaide Australia in the thread on our board that is dedicated to The 2007 Incredible International Challenge: http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/node/1015269 )
50,125 / 50,000
Oct 28, 2007 - 22 56
Somewhere behind you, in the darkness of night an evil chuckle rises from the depths of scratchy vocal cords. The sound intensifies, and you hear the sounds of racheting as somewhere in the distance, a trebuchet is being readied. Anticipation crackles throught the cool night air as leaves swirl around your feet in frantic circles, propelled by the force of a thousand whispering words waiting to be captured in just a few days' time.
Closer and off to your right, a sharp ping of metal striking stone startles you, and you begin to shake with terror. Could it be? So soon?
Yes, my Canadian friends, it is the Traveling Shovel of Death (TM), approaching swiftly to heap cold word clods over the graves of the brave, yet tortoise-like Saskatchewanian novelists. Mound by mound, you shall be buried honorably, in due NaNo fashion after we your worthy opponents defeat you in this wordy war of witty weaponry. Your epitaphs shall be written speedily, and shall boast an extraordinary word count in an ironic display of generosity from your conquerers.
Naturally, being assured of victory, we accept your challenge and look forward to meeting such noble warriors on the pages of battle. May the best region win, indeed.
The wind subsides, and the night is unnaturally still. Humans and beasts alike wait eagerly for the epic battle to be renewed between the Saskatchewan and Montana troops. The evil laughter dissolves into the night, and the only thing left on the battlefield is the original Weapon of Mass Destruction...
...the Blank Page.
21,825 / 50,000
Oct 29, 2007 - 07 34
Someone's pretty cocky considering we Montanans kicked Canadian ass last year...and the year before that...and the year before that...and...
1,017 / 50,000
Oct 30, 2007 - 07 49
No word, no analogy, no syllogism, no antonym nor synonym, no simile or metaphor, no anachronism, no sentence structure that does not follow the rules of parallelism, no word, no paragraph, no page, no chapter, shall be turned away. Every weapon in the arsenal of the English language has enlisted in my army of satire. I've got my yardstick out to measure the inches as my novel expands exponential, encompassing so much mass that it will create an Einstein-Rosen bridge, allowing me to travel back in time and win all previous Nanos and future Nanos in one fell swoop with one million words each.
Also, it's slightly colder where you are.
7,460 / 50,000
Oct 31, 2007 - 22 27
Well, only about a half hour until this year's zaniness! May the best province win!
50,413 / 50,000
Nov 4, 2007 - 06 53
Before the Nano stats crashed the site, Montana was 18,000 words ahead of Saskatchewan!
Keep upi the good work!
50,413 / 50,000
Nov 7, 2007 - 20 57
Day Seven and Saskatchewan is falling far far far behind.
MONTANA has a gigantic 550, 733
Saskatchewan has a pathetic 370, 945
GO MONTANA!
Keep up the good work!
50,413 / 50,000
Nov 11, 2007 - 15 53
While we are beating Saskatchewan in total word count, they are currently 700 words per person better than us! Montanans get the lead out and onto the paper! I want victory in both total word count and per person count! Victory!!!
50,032 / 50,000
Nov 23, 2007 - 11 10
Montanans! Come together! We must not be beaten by thoes crazy Canadians! We have won every year in the past! WE MUST WIN AGAIN! I will write like crazy tonight! We all must! WRITE MY MONTANAN COMRADES, WRITE! We are warriors of the pen and paper, mouse and keyboard, the Canadians are to us as National Reserve is to the Marines. They may be weekend wariors, but we are Nano Heros! Write Montanas! Write! WE CAN DO THIS!!!! We must not get comfortable, we must WIN!!!!!!!!!
50,413 / 50,000
Nov 24, 2007 - 10 35
Come on Montana! We are catching up on the per person word count! We can do it! So many Montanans are in the final stretch. Write! Write! let us show those Canadians that we are so much better than them. Let us all get to FIFTY thousand and be winners!
50,032 / 50,000
Dec 2, 2007 - 20 35
We did it! Again!
Does it sound any less thrilling when we have won EVERY TIME THEY HAVE CHALLENGED US???
Great job Montanans! Congrats to all are in order wheather you won or not.