My story includes 4 lands of the universe. The lands names are Desbri, Drill, Nickeo, and Zaprata. Zaprata is the land of people. They know about Desbri, Nickeo, and Drill but they call them Moonly, Deominion, and Nitrate. Desbri is a lot of desert. It is very dry, of course there is water but this has adjusted to mostly Rimino's, Rifflie's, and Rigito's. These are creatures. The Riffly is the dominate creature. Most of them speak english but Riffly creatures talk in a low muffled voice.
Then, there is Drill. This land has grass, trees, oceans, deserts, and lakes. Lots like the modern day California. The main creatures here are the Minilosta, Ripp, and Erimogalon creatures. Only the Ripp speaks english and the other 2 speak a mix of German and Russian. Remember, there are many creatures on all these lands but these 3 are the MAIN creatures in the plot.
Now, there is Nickeo. My MC is on this land. Gronlynns, Groblees, and Grogans mainly live there. My MC is a
Meranthias Marinas or an MM. MM's are used for zoo's and such, no wild ones.
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60,560 / 50,000
May 13, 2008 - 16 10
I'm sorry, I"m really not trying to be rude or anything, but what exactly are you looking for here? A critque? Are you wanting to know if your world makes sense? You've given us a lot of information, but you haven't said what you would like to know about the information.
----------The real hero is always a hero by mistake; he dreams of being an honest coward like everyone else.
- Umberto Eco
0 / 50,000
May 14, 2008 - 19 53
Sorry, I want to think of what you guys think. Could I improve, is it ok? Do you like it?
2,116 / 50,000
May 15, 2008 - 14 31
It's very creative and the names are cool, but I'm not sure I'm too keen on the fact that on Desbri all the creatures names start with R and the same with Nickeo and G's.
50,348 / 50,000
May 15, 2008 - 15 16
It's an interesting possible setting. What kind of story are you going to tell? Is a character going to get to travel through all these lands having adventures? Or what?
The name thing may be a bit cheesy, but then if you're aiming at younger readers, it might also be helpful so they can keep things straight. Just depends on what you do with it.