So, here's the story:
We strangers over in the Teens section were talking about how bored we were, and how boring some books are (shall go unnamed), and I had the crazy idea for us to write the world's most boring book of fictitious writing (we all know that the most boring non-fiction book is [name withheld] so we can't top that one.).
We're inviting you to join in!
How You Can Help:
We're hoping to have the first round of stories done by the 17th of July. Yeah, that should be enough time. The most boring story you can think of. We'll write it in English for now, then when it's all compiled in one large file (I'll volunteer my spare email address if no one else wants to do it. I decided to do this, lol so my punishment, I guess) at whatever standard of English your minds can get through (ie, if you can't edit it, someone else might be able to. The harder to edit/write, the greater sign that you're succeeding in our primary objective: To bore the reader) I'll distribute it to the volunteers to translate into as many languages as possible, then to attempt to get it published in as many countries as we can. We can all go nuts trying to get it published, and see just how many rejection letters we can get in how many languages, from how many countries/US states.
Here are the rules (yeah, I have to put them in here):
1. It must be boring. If something fun happens, it will be edited out. You have been warned.
2. If it doesn't take you the entirety of the week span to write it, it's not boring enough.
3. Max word limit at... 5,000 words. If you can get that far. That's roughly 13 A4 pages.
4. Min word limit at... 200 words. 1/3 an A4 page.
5. Any genre you want, but, as it's meant to be boring, it'll probably all be literary fiction anyway :D :P
6. All entries will be put into a large book format, to see if it can be published. Just for fun.
AND send them all to mythicwriting(at)hotmail(dot)com when they're done.
Include on a title page (so I can credit):
Name:
Country/US State:
Story title:
Boring rating (1- not very, 10 - fell asleep writing it):
Word count:
Email address:
Your first language:
Any languages you'd be willing to translate the stories into:
Small summary for those over 3,000 words (50-100 words, no need to make it longer than the story):
Language translaters:
The lovely Vampira has volunteered for a Dutch version (Netherlands)
Myself can do basic heiroglyphs (really, I can)
So, how can you help?We need translaters as well as writers! So far, we have translaters for only a couple of languages, so we need your help if you can write in another language from English! So, who wants to volunteer for languages such as:
German
Italian
French
Spanish
American
Hungarian
Russian
Hindi
Japanese
Chinese
Sweedish
... Swahili?
Simply raise your hands, and either reply to this thread, or send me an email.
So, where can I get my ideas?
Anywhere you want!
... Can you give us a few?
Sure:
A day in the life of a pencil
A day in the life of a ball of wool
A day in the life of a button
What you think when watching a spot
Follow a stain for a few thousand words
Who profits? (ie, who gets the royalty?)
It was decided previously that in the (un)likelyhood of the World's Most Boring Book (working title) actually being published, any and all funds raised would be given to a charity. However, we don't have any idea which one, and on which continent. Thus, we figured, well, NaNo's been good to us, and it was organised on these forums, we'd donate any (unlikely) money raised to the Office of Letters and Light.
Good news for the Office: As the book would be sold in Anthology format, if at all, it will be easier to sell than a book of one boring story.
Remember, the idea is to be as boring as possible! Sign up in this thread, state your idea, and I expect to be bored, people! Get cracking! lol
~The Wonderful Mythic Writing
Mastermind of Boredom
----------
~ Mythic Writing
Mastermind of Boredom
Join Us, Or We'll Bore You Some More...
http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/node/2009342
The World's Most Boring Book - And How You (Yes, You!) Can Help!!
60,054 / 50,000
Jun 26, 2008 - 06 06
Moving to Role Playing and Communal Story Building
82,032 / 50,000
Jun 26, 2008 - 07 22
I would be in as you know, but if you honestly want to try and get it published, I think my English isn't good enough :( But I will translate it into Dutch, even though it´s not on the list of languages ;)
EDIT (like, 1 minute later): Oh, I'm so dumb. I should learn to read. It's already mentioned, haha.
55,232 / 50,000
Jun 26, 2008 - 10 24
If my key board had Hebrew letters on it (which it doesn't) I'd translate it to Hebrew. And I'm in. I'll write something... Later, when I'm excrusiatingly bored.
50,001 / 50,000
Jun 27, 2008 - 10 29
I'm in.
I'm not fluent enough in any other language to volunteer my services, I'm afraid. However, if you want someone to proof the English versions (although most here are pretty good), I'm happy to do that.
91,095 / 50,000
Jun 27, 2008 - 10 22
Haha, it's just 'us strangers' volunteering so far ... I'll write something, I suppose. I'd offer to translate, but I don't know any other languages well enough to be comfortable with that. =/
150,015 / 50,000
Jun 28, 2008 - 02 28
There you go, Vampira! strangledduck has volunteered to beta for us (and I will help you as well) so come on, have a go! We're all writing very boring stories! (Mine's about a button. A clothes button. Yay boredom!)
Oh, any because we need to have some sort of link in the stories (apart from absolute boredom) There is one more rule to be followed:
Oh Yeah, What's That?
Every story must have the word "dopplegager" in it. Just to make us seem like we collaborated together for this (Muahahahaha!). No examples nessecary, just mention it.
~ Mythic Writing
Mastermind of Boredom
_____________________
Writing:
It's the only job I know of that you can go around bragging over how many people you've killed today, how many people you have emotionally abused this week and how many towns you've destroyed this month without being shot.
55,015 / 50,000
Jun 27, 2008 - 15 49
Sounds like a party. Well, actually, it sounds really, really boring. But I have nothing better to do, so I'm in. I'm afraid I won't be able to translate, though. I'm okay with French if you get really, really desperate. And I mean desperate. I'm somewhere between online translator and francophone 5 year-old. Okay, 4. But yar, I'll try. I think I'll write something about a flashlight with dead batteries. And a guy who replaces them with new batteries. That might be too interesting, though.
15,711 / 50,000
Jun 28, 2008 - 15 37
I'm in. I can't guarantee much though. I'm rather busy.
Sadly I don't know enough to be of any help translating things.
60,055 / 50,000
Jun 29, 2008 - 13 15
I might be able to write a story (maybe, maybe not) and I could probably do some Italian and/or Spanish translation. I'm not entirely fluent in either language, but I know where to look for help when I do need it.
I can also transliterate into Greek characters, just for kicks. My knowledge of the language itself is miniscule, but I know the alphabet really well.
150,015 / 50,000
Jun 30, 2008 - 04 43
Woohoo Catwraith! Welcome to this exclusive list! Greek it is, and a questionmark next to italian and Spanish. (I have the same level of understanding with heiroglyphs as you do Greek characters. It's a 'just for kicks' thing too.)
Haha! This book is going to be so boring! I love it!
50,329 / 50,000
Jun 30, 2008 - 10 43
I can try to write something, and possibly could translate into spanish as well.
0 / 50,000
Jul 1, 2008 - 19 16
I may be able to write something.
1,230 / 50,000
Jul 1, 2008 - 19 32
I love this idea! I don't have my idea yet, but I'll do my best to partcipate!
60,055 / 50,000
Jul 1, 2008 - 19 58
Actually, how about we just say yes to the Italian unless you can find someone fluent in the language?
150,015 / 50,000
Jul 3, 2008 - 23 31
Oh my god! People have shown up! Did you all suddenly get a case of curiosity or follow me across to this section of the forums or something?
Anyway...
Welcome to the club, pizzaisalive and gema! Care to place a ough subject, or do you plan on surprising me?
Oh, and I'm amazed no one's volunteered to translate to UK English or American yet... I'm puting my hand up for Australian (The difference? In a word: Pants.)
~ Mythic Writing
Mastermind of Boredom
PS. We now have a shaky 12 authors - Depending on Vampira, that number may drop to 11. Yay for publicity!
PPS, I had an idea! Who wants to take it! (do it do it do it for 700-1000 words, just to seem overly repetative)
82,032 / 50,000
Jul 4, 2008 - 05 43
Depending on me? Oh, shoot. Well, I really don't know. Of course, the proofreading would be good, but it's not that I make a lot of mistakes, but more that my vocabulary in English is a bit limited. Though of course, using the same words would be a very boring thing to do.
Little question, does the fact that I'm translating it into Dutch automatically mean that I'm going to try and publish it here in the Netherlands? It probably does, but I don't really know how to do that and I've never even wanted to try it, so I don't know...I'll try, I guess.
50,004 / 50,000
Jul 4, 2008 - 19 08
I might be in, depending on how well my idea pans.... I'll let you know in a couple weeks, 'k'?
150,015 / 50,000
Jul 5, 2008 - 02 49
Tasha! Wonderful to see you! Adding you to the list... *scribbles name on paper*
Vampira, it would be nice to try. ;-) Ask nicely and we'll see if we can help, using our limited experiences in our own countries.
51,627 / 50,000
Jul 7, 2008 - 07 53
I'll be writing something! I just need to come up with an idea. I'll probably be able to do that at work today though because I get very bored there and will probably be able to create a boring idea.
Sadly, I can't translate into any languages. I'm taking Latin, but I don't know near enough to translate. :(
150,015 / 50,000
Jul 9, 2008 - 00 21
This is the book that'll bore you senseless
Bore you senseless, bore you senseless
This is the book that'll bore you senseless
And it keeps going on and on like this:
This is the book that'll bore you senseless
Bore you senseless, bore you senseless
This is the book that'll bore you senseless
And it keeps going on and on like this:
This is the book that'll bore you senseless
Bore you senseless, bore you senseless
This is the book that'll bore you senseless
And it keeps going on and on like this...
So, no, no one else can do one of these stories! I'm doing it as well as the intro (unless someone has a better one). I thought I'd head it off before it started...
50,329 / 50,000
Jul 9, 2008 - 10 22
When do ou want us to start sending these to you?
150,015 / 50,000
Jul 9, 2008 - 23 06
When ever you're finished!
150,015 / 50,000
Jul 11, 2008 - 04 09
Ahoy-hoy!!
As I know that truely inspirational boredom is hard to find, the "Due Date" (for those who need it: DEADLINE *trembles in fear*) is being moved from the 17/7 (ie, next Thursday) to the 25/7 (The Friday following the 17th). So find that truely horrible boredom and set it to paper!
Hands up who's finished?
*raises both hands*
Which side are you on? ^.-
1,288 / 50,000
Jul 16, 2008 - 12 03
This is such an outrageous idea. I'll give it a go and drum something up this weekend. Something along the lines of 'Benny Solves A Math Problem'
50,329 / 50,000
Jul 24, 2008 - 13 38
Would you extend the deadline another week? I just can't stay awake.
150,015 / 50,000
Jul 24, 2008 - 19 50
Deadline Extended To 16th August -
Because it sounds like theanab's writing a good one.
50,329 / 50,000
Jul 25, 2008 - 10 15
Thank you oh great one.
yes, yes, yes.
stories sleepy
*headdesk*
*snore*
150,015 / 50,000
Jul 29, 2008 - 23 22
The first story is in!
That's right, the first story is in!
Laelia has beaten us all (I'm, admittedly, not done yet on the story) to hand her story in first!
*streamers and whistles*
So, who will be number 2?
50,329 / 50,000
Jul 30, 2008 - 11 08
I'll get my two sent in that I have done as of now.
Um, how are we all going to be able to read these when everything is compiled?
150,015 / 50,000
Jul 30, 2008 - 17 19
Like this:
1. I'll send everyone who submits a copy of the word document to read over and beta.
2. When that is all done and I've gotten back everyone's ideas for the stories, I'll section them off to be sent out to the author of the stories. They can fix anything that is deemed to be wrong (ie, too exciting, sentences fail to work, etc.) and send it back to me.
3. Once more it will be compiled and sent out for reading, sent for relavent fixing.
4. Then the whole document will be sent to everyone for relevant translations (returned to me so I have a master copy if a computer crashes or something).
5. Finally, it will be sent to everyone who wishes to be submitted to the publishing houses/agents of the world.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it!