[TOPIC] Anxiety Disorders

I have had Generalized Anxiety Disorder for years (I personally think I also have Social Anxiety).

For me, I usually start feeling kind of jittery and a little nauseous. With the GAD, I can't usually pinpoint what it is that makes me feel that way. Sometimes I do know - it could be anything from an impending trip to a social event to knowing someone is supposed to phone. Anything.

Mostly I try and deal without medication (I've gotten better at that over the years). I usually end up taking Ativan to calm me if the nausea gets really bad, because I have a total fear of throwing up or being sick.

I'm afraid of germs and getting sick in general, so I avoid events and people and places where I think I might get a cold or something.

Socially, I find it hard to initiate conversation, hard to even pick up the phone to order pizza. I always think people are looking at me and judging me negatively. So I worry about how I look, how I sound. I get afraid that I'll make a fool of myself and stuff. I also tend to always feel left out in groups, even if it's a group of people I've known for years. I feel like an outsider and that no one really cares and I end up isolating myself because I think it's what everyone else thinks.

Most of the time it's just hard to motivate myself to go out socially. The internet has become my social outlet, because I find it really easy to talk to people online and to assert myself online. I also work from home for the most part because it's easy and I hate jobs in retail so bad (talking to strangers? Not good.)

Any other questions, feel free to ask.

*****
http://arieswriting.livejournal.com

I have obsessive-compulsive disorder, and am recovering from borderline paranoia as well.

I'm nowhere near as bad, OCD-wise, as I could be, or even as bad as I was. Back in university I used to do things like check my purse 19 times to make sure I had my keys -- even if they were *in my hand* at the time, I still had to keep looking down at them. If I left without doing that I was convinced I had locked myself out and would have to go back. It took about two years to get over that, and I've overcome it now by wearing a sort of gadget holster where my keys are always attached so I know they're always with me no matter what.

Other things I'm obsessive about are the way I walk -- I will physically, unconsciously rearrange my stride so that my feet will avoid the cracks between sidewalk tiles, for example. This last summer I decided I would stop doing that, but in the end it was more work to *make* myself step on the cracks that I just went back to avoiding them. I would be determined to step on the next crack and would tell myself I would -- and would step over it without thinking.

I'm also very anal about recipes. If the side of a soup can says to heat for 3 minutes, remove and stir, then heat for 2 minutes, then let sit for sixty seconds and then remove, that's exactly what I'll do. Purposely doing something other than what the instructions say gives me mild anxiety -- my chest will tense up and my stomach will get tight and I *have to fix it*.

I'm constantly organizing -- pencil cases have to be just so (the sight of one filled with pencils and pens and pencil crayons all over the place makes me nervous), backpacks and laptop bags have to have everything stowed precisely, etc. I'm the same with my computer -- I'm always organizing and moving files and making sure everything is optimal. I have friends who just save everything to their desktop and I can't use their computers.

It's all pretty minor most of the time, but every so often something will trigger an attack. Usually it's that I start something and either it turns out more complicated than I thought (sometimes impossible), or I have to leave or go somewhere before I can finish, etc., etc. That's when it's bad. I'll start feeling vague sensations of panic (trouble breathing, my chest tightening, stomach feeling tense, etc), and if it doesn't alleviate (if I can't finish my task, if someone makes me stop), then it will occasionally escalate to full-out tears and hysteria. That's usually pretty confusing/alarming to people who don't realize what's going on.

The other place that my anxiety manifests itself is in personal interaction -- especially if I'm fighting with someone close. I will have hysteric attacks and be crying and unable to breathe if for some reason I'm fighting with someone and we can't finish it and work through to a solution right now. E.g., if I'm arguing and it's late at night and the other person has work in the morning and needs to go to sleep. I will stay up all night freaking out until I can talk to them again and make it all right. This also happens if I think I've upset someone; I need to know, even if they say it's fine, so that I can make it right. I have an obsession with 'fixing' things and get very, very freaked out if I can't.

This sometimes extends to hypothetical situations. Sometimes I will have imaginary conversations with someone about a fight we've had before, or one that I know will happen (if I have to tell someone something that I know they won't like, for example), and I play it all out in my head. By the end of it, I'm shaken and crying and just as worked up as if the fight had actually taken place. Luckily I'm in control enough that I still know it hasn't happened, so I don't blame someone for a fight we had in my head. (I had a friend who used to get mad at me for something I'd said in a dream; I'm not that bad.)

The other one that occasionally happens is I dream that someone has died, and I need to e-mail them to make sure -- even if I KNOW they're alive. Luckily my best friend expects this every so often, so when it happens she's patient with me. On the flip side of that, occasionally I get very upset imagining that something will happen to me and my family/close friends somehow won't be notified and will wonder forever.

I also have to map out all entrances and exits to a room when I'm in it -- I have to know who could get in and how, how I could get out in case of an emergency, where I could hide in the event of a hostage situation or zombie apocalypse, etc. My job at a bookstore made me extremely nervous because there was only one entrance/exit and nowhere I could hide that could not be accessed.

The best way to calm me down when that happens is to be patient. The movies usually go with the "slap the other person in the face and yell at them" approach, and I have a friend for whom that works, but for me, it just pushes me further into hysteria. Basically what calms me is if the other person tells me it's all right and reminds me to breathe (because I can work myself up into an asthma attack if I'm not careful), and then reminds me of the logic that I, in my paranoia, have overlooked. Physically speaking, hugs or running fingers through my hair does wonders, particularly the latter. It's a soothing thing that relates back to when I was a little kid, and for whatever reason, it works.

A recent example: I was worried that something would happen to me and that no one would remember to notify my best friend. I told her this, and she reminded me that, if she hadn't heard from me, she had my home number and could always just call my family and ask them. That was an easy one, because just that calmed me down immediately, but if I'd been alone I would have imagined the scenario over and over again until I'd worked myself into a fit.

Mine is a pretty middling case in that I can control it most of the time and it doesn't affect my life very much. But still, I figure it's good to have stories from all sides, right?

I don't think you need to be an anxious person to write about an anxious person. If you had to have the disorder to write about it, we'd never have the show "Monk".

I was diagnosed with a mild anxiety disorder in college.

Mine is most often triggered by visiting new places or talking to new people. For instance, it was a 4 hour drive for me to get to my college from my hometown. There were three gas stations I would stop at on the way to or from school. If I was forced to stop anywhere else, I would have an anxiety attack.

Attack symptoms were: Increased heart rate, dry mouth, anything from butterflies in my stomach to full-out nausea, a general sense of dread and discomfort. Lights would seem to bright, and I would be slightly paranoid that everyone was staring at me. If I was talking to someone new, I would spend the whole conversation certain that this person thought I was a total idiot and worried that I would stutter or say something idiotic.

I was put on medication for it briefly, and though I can't tell you name of it, it was an anti-psychotic. It did seem to work, but in a depressive episode I attempted to swallow a lot of pills simultaneously and my boyfriend at the time and I agreed it would be better to find another, alternative method. If you'd like to know, PM me and I'll tell you what it was.

Although I would like to know, the biggest problem with anxiety disorders is that no one seems to really believe it's a serious condition. My family likes to write it off as 'shyness,' but it's a whole other level of shyness. It's hard to explain to them why I would rather let my bladder explode than stop at an unfamiliar place, or why being a reporter is never going to be a real option for me because interviewing subjects makes me want to vomit.

If you have other questions for me, feel free to PM.

"The system gives you just enough to make you think that you see change. Then it sings you right to sleep and screws you just the same." - Ani DiFranco

Oh, man, I thought I was alone in those. My husband gives me soooo much grief, but I had to buy a clip to attach my keys to my purse so that I always have them, in plain sight or I'll start searching for them every five minutes to make sure I have them. Same thing with concert tickets...I keep them in hand because otherwise I'll keep rechecking for them. And totally the walking thing, although I have to either avoid the cracks or step so that the crack lands squarely in the middle of the arch of my foot, and both feet must be equal. I've gotten a little better about that. I try not to look down.
"The system gives you just enough to make you think that you see change. Then it sings you right to sleep and screws you just the same." - Ani DiFranco

"The system gives you just enough to make you think that you see change. Then it sings you right to sleep and screws you just the same." - Ani DiFranco

I'm a pretty bad hypochondriac. If I feel something "off" in my body and it doesn't go away right away, I start researching it on the Internet. Then I always find these awful diseases with symptoms close to mine and I end up scaring myself to the point where I can't be reassured unless I get checked out by a doctor. Even then, it can be kind of hard for me not to think about it, and I really have to force those kinds of thoughts out of my mind.

I also get anxiety attacks sometimes, where I'll start feeling nervous for no reason and my chest feels a little tight. I have to remind myself that I'm just feeling a little anxious in order to calm myself down and let it pass.

I have social anxiety disorder. Just posting on these forums is hard for me, but I'm making an effort to be more involved in the social aspects of NaNo -- and online, in general -- this year. I dislike being around more than a handful of people at a time (one on one is best; I can deal with 2 or 3 if I know them), and even being around family is stressful. I need "downtime" to decompress after being with other people for any length of time (to the point of not wanting to even hear another human voice, even if it's on the TV or a recording). I am prone to panic attacks in social situations and feel awkward around others.

If you have specific questions, you can Nanomail them to me, if you'd like. Hope that helps.

I'm dealing with social anxiety at the moment. I know it could be a lot worse than it is, but that doesn't make it easier to deal with. I'm alright with handling one or two people at a time, but anything more than that and the anxiety kicks in. It isn't too bad if I actually know all of the people one on one before joining in a group of five or six, but when I'm in a group of people that I don't already know, that's when it's hard.

Last weekend, I visited my boyfriend at college and he wanted him to meet his friends. There were only six of them other than myself and my boyfriend. The moment I caught sight of them, I began to feel nauseous and lightheaded, my mouth went dry, and I had a general overall feel of dread and fear. He introduced me, and I couldn't manage more than a wave and a half-smile. They all got talking, but I couldn't join the conversation at all. The nauseous feeling got worse, my hands started shaking, and I started feeling overheated. Even after we had left the group to head to his dorm, the feeling of unease and sickness lingered; it really didn't disappear until half an hour afterwards. Later that night, we met up with his friends again for food. I'm a shy eater, and, already feeling sick, I couldn't manage to eat a bite. Even though I'd seen them earlier that day and heard them speak to one another, I couldn't stop the same feelings from hitting me all over again. I knew that I was acting irrationally, but I couldn't force myself to act any other way.

Previous to that, over the summer, I had to attend a graduation party for my mom's coworker's son. It was a mix of family and friends, and I hadn't seen the boy who was graduating for over ten years, so I didn't remember him clearly at all. Everyone was in a church hall, and there must have been a hundred or more people there. I sat down in my chair next to my mother and sister, and I didn't move from that chair for the three hours that we were there. I felt like everyone was watching me. The same feelings hit me as I described above, only worse. That time, I had myself worked up into a panic attack two hours into the graduation party. There was plenty of food, snacks, and desserts, but I couldn't manage a bite; on the contrary, I was trying my hardest not to vomit. When mum decided that we could leave and we went to say good-bye to her coworker, she [the coworker] asked if I was alright; I hadn't realized that my distress was that evident. When we got back into the car, I burst into tears, completely stressed from the event and still feeling very sick.

Hopefully that was helpful. Messages are welcome if you have any more questions.

you must be the change you wish to see in the world.

I have generalized and social anxiety disorders. Just random little things make me anxious. I hate talking in front of groups of people (the social anxiety), even my friends. One thing will just set me off and my face gets as red as a fire engine within about 10 seconds. My friends make fun of me for it, because they've "never seen a face get that red so fast". They are continually reminding me that the blush once went up through my scalp. One of them will ask if I'm okay, but only after laughing.

I've taken medicine (doxepin) but my mom's taken me off it now so now I'm medicine-less. I also cannot have anything within a certain distance of my neck. No high-necked shirts or scarves or necklaces that touch a certain length from my neck. If I do, it starts to feel like I'm being choked. The medicine I have for when I have an anxiety attack (hydroxine) helps that feeling, but not what comes with it. I get migraines that no medicine helps and feel nauseous. Only lying down and going to sleep helps.with that.

The anxiety is probably related to how I hate being yelled at. My mom does it a lot just because I don't like her boyfriend, and he lives with us. And my brother irritates me to no end so I'm not too fond of him. My mom says I'm a horrible person and she's yelling so it makes me cry uncontrollably. She doesn't really care and just says "take a chill pill" and once even called my dad to tell him I wanted to move in with him, which wasn't even close to what I was saying. So being yelled at gives me an attack, too. I try to avoid those situations >.<

Only my best friend cares about how I'm feeling when I have an anxiety attack. She doesn't make fun of me and when she finds out other people are purposely pushing an attack she gets really irritated and wants to yell at them. I have had an anxiety problems for years. Sometimes it's not a problem but other times I feel like I'm going to die. It's always like I'm being choked; and sometimes there is nothing even near my neck and that happens. I keep pulling down the neckline of my shirt, even if it's not even close and I know that. I ask people, too, if anything's touching my neck, just to make sure.

Hope this helped. If you have any other questions you can PM me.

*K.A.Rygaard*

... actually, that's it exactly. I just didn't put in the second half of it because I thought it would look silly. But now I know it's not just me! *grins*

Have you been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, and if so, how did that make you feel?
I've been diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder. Actually I was the one that went in so I was happy, but it took forever. It took a few phones calls and I always got embarrassed when they would ask what I wanted to see my doctor about. in the end I had to get someone else to call in for me.

What makes you anxious?
People o_O"
though while I am on my medication I'm alright.

What are your thoughts like?
For the most part I get paranoid that people are looking at me, thinking bad things about me, etc. again, I mostly get this when I'm OFF my medication.

If you've had a panic attack, what is that like? What calms you down?
It's bad. It's like every thing outside of myself doesn't exist and well... it's hard to explain. What calms me down is normally my husband... other wise I just curl up in a ball in till the panic attack passes

How have family and friends reacted to your anxiety?
Both my mom and dad were pretty much in denial about it. Even though I took an online test and showed it to them they were still skeptical and wouldn't do anything to help me out.
My husband on the other hand is very supportive and my friend too. (the few that I have)

So, a couple other notes about my Social Anxiety Disorder,

- It is impossible for me to get a job. I have tried SO many times and I've only been hired at one place 5 years ago. (I don't work there any more since I moved) I just get SO nervous in interviews and of course interviewers pick up on that and don't want to hire 'my sort'.

- When I'm with people I know really well I'm very chatty, loud, social and all that. In fact if you saw me with my friends you wouldn't guess I have Social Anxiety Disorder, but when I'm around people I don't know or don't know very well I'm very, very shy

NaNoWriMo '04 - Fake Wings : WON
NaNoWriMo '05 - Lonely Road : WON
NaNoWriMo '06 - The Painful Bunny : WON
NaNoWriMo '07 - Twilight, Lost Princess : LOST ;_;
NaNoWriMo '08 - ???

That is EXACTLY like me. From the POV of family/close friends, I'm outgoing, loud and won't shut up. From a stranger or acquaintance perspective, I'm so quiet they think I'm rude and it's hard for me to enjoy myself because I'm so shy.

*****
http://arieswriting.livejournal.com

*****
http://arieswriting.livejournal.com

I've been diagnosed with genetically based Generalized Anxiety Disorder (as in it's inherited, not caused by any traumatic experiences). I've got some social phobia and other phobias. I think when I was a kid I might have had selective mutism.

Everything makes me anxious. Leaving the house, talking to people, car travel, being in groups, answering the phone, whatever. Often I feel anxious for no reason whatsoever. There have been times when I'd stay up all night worrying about something like whether or not the baby's carseat was installed correctly (even though it was exactly the same as it had been for months before and there was nothing I could do about it at the moment anyway, and yet suddenly I couldn't stop thinking about it). At my worst I've had uncontrollable thoughts about accidents and crimes -- for example, imagining my husband's car breaking down on the freeway and him being attacked and murdered or imagining the train I was on hitting a car stopped on the tracks -- and having them repeat over and over and develop into worse and worse scenarios and I couldn't stop it.

Physical symptoms like others have mentioned -- nausea, feeling jittery and shaky, headaches, and I break out in hives a lot though I don't know if that's anxiety or an allergy. But in college when I knew I was going to have to teach a class at the end of the semester I had scars all over my legs from scratching the hives. The main symptom I have is a constant, mild sick feeling in my stomach. It's not incapacitating, but doesn't go away. Dread.

Panic attacks are the worst feeling in the world. They're not just regular fear. When I used to get them frequently I was always afraid I was going to throw up. Now whenever I have a stomach flu and think I might throw up I have a panic attack. I get tightness in my chest, heart palpitations, an icy numbness that travels through my chest and arms, sweating, and a profound, primal, isolating terror that I don't have the words to describe. Like realizing you're drowning and there's no one who can possibly save you. I know a lot of people think they're dying when they have a panic attack. I've never thought that myself, but I understand why someone would.

I've been called shy, mostly. Or timid. Or a worrywart.

My family gets it now though. My husband was the one who pointed out to me that I looked for things to worry about. I didn't see it. But after 9/11 when I started feeling horribly anxious at the same time every evening and then wondered what I was so worried about and tried to figure out what it was.... I realized he was right. I feel anxious first. Then I find something to attach it to. And often I end up worrying obsessively about something pretty random. Like when I was sure the house was going to burn down because we had mice (I thought they were going to chew the wiring and cause a fire).

I was formally diagnosed last year, though I've had the disorder since I was a small child. So my reaction was basically "Yeah, no kidding." :P I take Lexapro now and it's great. I'm practically a normal person (well, okay, I'm not about to drive on the freeway and I still don't use the telephone if I can help it, but I can take my kids to school without a sense of impending doom or walk into church without feeling sick). I don't know why I waited so long to start taking medication. Oh wait, yes, I do. Because seeing a doctor about it would have meant making a phone call. The only reason I was ever diagnosed was because a friend gave me her psychiatrist's email address so I could make an appointment without calling. o_O

What makes you anxious?: Mostly social events such as talking to people, eating in front of people, speaking in front of a large crowd, being in a large crowd, worrying about my physical appearance, worrying what people think of me or what I do, speaking on the phone, etc.

What are your thoughts like?: Sometimes I experience very antisocial thoughts. Before I was treated for depression my thoughts were very angry and violent. I wanted to get back at people for making me feel the way I did. I now realize that my problem is internal and it's not everyone else's fault that I have such bad anxiety around people. Of course I've matured since I was first diagnosed with depression (at age 16) and so that might also have influenced my thoughts.

What physical symptoms do you experience when you begin to feel anxious?: I constantly experience tachycardia (elevated heart rate). My resting heart rate is about 110 beats per minute or so. When I feel anxious my heart rate goes even faster, my breathing becomes more shallow and ragged. I think I'm going to die (because I also end up worrying about my heart going so fast). Sometimes I feel light headed and dizzy.

If you've had a panic attack, what is that like?: First and foremost it feels like you are going to die. I had my first panic attack at age 13. I ended up in the ER because I thought I was dying. I was shaking and sweating and my heart was going very fast. There had been a thunderstorm that night and back then I was very afraid of them. I think that was what set my panic attack off. It's been since then that I've had tachycardia.

What calms you down?: Deep breathing exercises, massaging the carotid arteries in my neck (for my tachycardia), listening to music, being with my family (despite my social anxiety disorder, I still find comfort in my family), taking medications that make me drowsy (Tylenol PM, Nyquil, etc.) and on very rare occasions when I feel like I'm about to have a panic attack I take Xanax.

How have family and friends reacted to your anxiety?: My mom has always been there for me and supported me. However, some of my other family members such as my grandparents don't really understand it I don't think. They are always pushing me to be more social without realizing how hard it is for me and how the very thought of even talking to a stranger can send me into a panic attack. For instance, in class when I get up the nerve to speak aloud to the teacher my heart rate skyrockets. I can feel it speed up and I can feel heat rushing to my cheeks. These symptoms don't subside until I'm quite sure no one is paying any attention to me anymore.

Have you been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, and if so, how did that make you feel?: No. I've been diagnosed with depression and tachycardia but I have not been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. However, I feel that I have social anxiety disorder and I've actually recently been considering going to the doctor about my anxiety.

That's exactly it... I actually had panic attacks for a few years before I figured out what they were. Honestly, they're the worst thing you can imagine. For me, I'd first get a sick feeling in my stomach, an overwhelming sense of terror, and then my body temperature would rise suddenly and severely. Within moments I'd be coated with sweat (but at the same time feel cold), and my vision would turn into pinpricks... that's when my hearing would disappear, my throat would constrict to the point where I could only breathe in heavy, forced gasps, and I couldn't hear - speak - or see... which is perhaps the worst terror of all. My heart would feel irregular, which I guess maybe it was. I couldn't move, and I'd collapse into a fetal position. You honestly think you're going to die. Like, there's no way out. That's it. You're dead. I like the analogy above, "like realizing you're drowning and there's no one who could possibly save you". It's pure, unadulterated, primal terror. It's really hard to describe it to someone who's never had one before, and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

For some unknown reason, I stopped having them after a few years. Unfortunately, when this went away, I became a more anxious person, and have since developed (at random) various health complications due to anxiety. The main problem with this - and the reason why I don't medicate - is because going to the doctor is a source of incredible anxiety for me, and I'd almost rather deal with the problem myself (I'll try to ride it out... this does not always work) than see a doctor. I once went for a year and a half with a stress/anxiety induced ulcer without ever seeing a doctor... but last summer, everything was just too much for me to handle, and I nearly ended up in the hospital because of tension headaches (it felt like my head was going to explode, and I was convinced I had a tumor or something... I tend to be a bit of a hypochondriac, which can also be a problem since I have a doctor phobia).

I was put on stress leave for a few months because of the tension headaches, and my current way to relieve anxiety is through exercise. I took up belly dancing, and it actually has done amazing things for my anxiety and stress levels, more than I think any medication could. I really think it was a miracle solution, though if I go a few days without dancing, the headaches come back. The anxiety also manifests in grinding my teeth at night, and the last time I went to see the dentist, he told me that I'm actually cracking my teeth, I'm clenching and grinding so hard. That's scary.

My husband is convinced I have general anxiety disorder... but since I don't like going to the doctor, I've never been officially diagnosed... :S

I hope this helped. I'd be happy to answer any further questions you have, so please feel free to send me a message.

What makes you anxious?
A lot of things x_x Social interaction is really hard for me. When I have a structure to work within (I am at work, these are my co-workers, I shall proceed to chat with them) I'm okay, but when I try to move out of that structure, even with, for example, co-workers I've known for years, I freak out. People have kind of learnt that I'm never going to say yes when they ask me out for drinks or to a party -- the very act of them asking makes my chest all tight and I get that feeling of tears building up, which then makes me even more upset because how humiliating would it be if they asked me to a club and I burst into tears, right? I'm better with groups than one-on-one and have no problem with public speaking or that sort of thing. I dropped out of a drama degree not because the performance or work was difficult but because I couldn't deal with my outgoing fellow students. They kept trying to talk to me. I've also dropped out of classes because people in the class have asked me out on dates. I don't go to parties anymore, but when I did in high school I always spent at least 20 minutes in the toilet crying for no apparent reason.

When I buy something at the shops I always have this sudden fear that I won't have enough money, the item will be more than it was marked as and I won't have enough money.

This one sounds really dumb but I always have to feel like both sides of my body are equal. You know that feeling where after you've had pressure on your skin, you can feel where that touch has been for a moment afterwards? That sensation is the bane of my existence. It doesn't ALWAYS bother me, but when it does I can spend hours touching each palm of my hand in succession, because the sensation always fades from one hand first and then they're unequal. There's also a spot right on the centre of my hairline, and I'll get this feeling like I just HAVE to touch it or I'll explode, and if I ignore it I get all teary.

I also hate for things to be just a little bit out of line. A huge mess doesn't bother me, though, so if I have a stack of books and one is out of line, I'll try to make them all even and if I can't I'll just smash the whole thing, so then it's all a huge trash heap and there's no order to perfect.

I do the stepping on cracks thing, too, but that's to do with the sides of my body balancing and I'll usually only do it once I've already stood on a crack with one foot and it therefore feels slightly different to the other one.

What are your thoughts like?
My big thing, when I get anxious about anything, is that I'm going to get in trouble. I don't know what I'm supposed to be getting in trouble from, and when I'm not in the process of freaking out it sounds stupid even to me, but I am always worried someone's going to be mad at me, or think I'm not good enough, and then I'm going to be in trouble and then everything is just going to be really. really. bad. alsothatpeoplearelookingatmeandthatimfat.

What physical symptoms do you experience when you begin to feel anxious?
Tight chest, difficult breathing (I'm asthmatic, and when I get really anxious it will usually trigger an attack), I always feel like I'm about to cry, lump in the throat, my limbs go all shaky and limp, my face goes red and then I get sleepy and angry.

If you've had a panic attack, what is that like?
I've had one panic attack, in high school. I was already physically ill at the time, so I didn't realise it was a panic attack at the time, just that I was really really scared. I had nothing to panic about. I got incredibly dizzy, my vision went blurry, my heart raced, I fell over in the hallway outside my classroom and then started crying, which triggered an asthma attack, and then I passed out for a few moments. Then I woke up and I was fine.

What calms you down?
Sleep. I get anxious, I sleep, I get depressed, I sleep, I get angry, I sleep. I do a lot of sleeping, and it is a shithouse coping mechanism.

How have family and friends reacted to your anxiety?
I've lost what I considered very close friends over being socially awkward.

Have you been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, and if so, how did that make you feel?
No, actually. I was diagnosed with depression when I was 15 and although various professionals have discussed social anxiety and obsessive compulsive behaviours with me, I've never been given any other formal diagnosis. Part of this could be because I am reluctant to see anyone, especially for any length of time. Not only is therapy distressing, but you have to CALL ON THE PHONE to make an appointment. The phone! I even think about using it to make calls instead of answer them and my chest goes tight and my arms go all noodly.

I have a few different types of anxiety. My worst comes with driving. If I find myself in a large city (or even a small one if I don't know it), I start to panic. I also hate being put in the spotlight (I nearly went into a fit at my own bridal shower).
Under a lot of stress I'm also prone to anxiety attacks. My breathing begins to quicken and I feel like there's a cinder block on top of my chest. The first time this happen I panicked so badly that I had to be taken out by ambulance and put on oxygen. I guess my panic lead to severe hypertension and made the muscles over my chest turn hard as a rock and it kept my ribs from expanding. I also had a pain shooting through my left shoulder and arm and I thought I was having a heart attack.
For the next few days my chest was so sore and I was put on a prescription for 600MG Ibuprofen just to ease the muscles back down. Even now that still happens if I have an attack.
I also had a bad problem of grinding my teeth at night. I'd wake up in the morning and my jaw muscles would ache so badly. Plus, it was starting to take a toll on the enamel of my teeth.
I ended up being put on Prozac for it (the generic form, actually - Fluoxetine) 10MG, once a day on normal days, or two a day if I'm feeling really stressed out. Little, oblong, dark, blue pills, if you need a description of any sort.
My family has always been very supportive of the disorder. They were actually the ones who called the ambulance for me that first time. My mother came to the hospital with me. My fiance has been supportive as well, though I think it makes him nervous sometimes. He tends to tread lightly around me when he knows I'm stressed, as if he thinks he'll set me off or something.
I hope it helps! Feel free to PM me if you need anything else I might be able to offer.
Ever since the medication, I've been just fine, though. Of course, stress happens, but it's unavoidable these days. A hot cup of chamomile tea is good on those days. :)

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is not commonly considered to by most to be a social anxiety disorder. Never the less many of the effects are very much in line with an anxiety disorder.

In my case, I suffer from particularly severe PTSD related anxiety issues. These are revealed through significant social withdrawl, extreme nervousness, even outright panic.

Lessee... the nuts and bolts...

First, you hardly ever see me in public. I'm more or less a recluse. I pretty much stay either at home or at work (I have two co-workers and work nights, so I don't deal with strangers at all, really.) If I do have to go out I pretty much find myself at a high state of awareness. I watch EVERYTHING. People are watched like they all are a threat. Every hidden corner, every bush, every nook and crany are checked mulitple times for anything untoward, and I'm always looking over my shoulder. (I'm currently finishing a degree in college, so you can guess how fun classes are. I always sit in the back of the class so no one will be behind me.) And noisy situations... You won't find me at the State Fair, or a concert, or anything of the sort. Too noisy and I can't think, and feel like the noise will let someone sneak up on me. Ugh. Even at home I'm reclusive. Basically I more or less remain in one part of the house where I micromanage everything and get very irritable if anyone or anything invades my space.

I'm also very untrusting. Every time someone talks with me, I find myself wondering what they are up to. Every comment is weighed for motive, every request, every complement... I'm always trying to figure out what they are trying to set me up to do. And if you get too friendly or too close, I get waaaaaaaay uptight, because I know, I just absolutely know that you are up to something. And if you get into my personal space, expect me to get extremely anxious and try to get away. If you persue, even just verbally, expect me to get angry about it. Since flight isn't working, fight mode kicks in.

Additionally I am a neat freak. Messy places make me extremely nervous. Too much chaos and I can't keep track of things. I keep my "safe" areas very neat and orderly, with a minimum of things to clutter an area. If an area is messy it makes me uptight, and I have to fight the urge to neaten things that aren't mine.

Feel free to mail me with further questions. The internet is one of the few places I *can* be social.

Wait, what?

A bit over a year ago, I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Social Anxiety disorder, shocking no one. I've been on some medication (Effexor) for about a year, and the turnaround is staggering, but certainly when I was going through it it was no fun at all. I'd always been shy, but it was getting worse over the years and the real turning point was when I tried to drop off resumes for a simple summer retail job, and I couldn't because every time I tried to approach an employee and just ask if they were hiring, I'd have a panic attack - I started gasping for breath, felt like I was going to burst into tears or just fall apart.

My biggest issues were talking to people I didn't know, terribly afraid of inconveniencing them or saying something stupid. If I went to a fast food place in the mall and the person behind the counter didn't notice me, I'd just stand there and wait for minutes at a time rather than calling out to them and making a perceived nuisance of myself. I also hated phone calls and email. Stuff like calling for pizza or a taxi was almost impossible. I remember one time in early high school where I had to call a girl I knew in class - not a friend, but certainly not a stranger - to ask a question about a project. I cried for two hours before I could pick up the phone. Sending emails, I used to (and still do, although not to the same degree) obsessively proofread and tweak it for hours on end. Pressing the "send" button was terrifying and I'd often ask somebody else to do it for me. Sometimes I'd be so worried about sending an email back that I'd avoid it, and then I'd feel so bad about leaving it for so long that I'd avoid it even more, and it would never get sent.

One other major thing was a tendency for almost meaningless comments to stick with me and eat away at me for days, weeks, months, or even years. Anything where I felt that I'd said something dumb. One example that comes to mind is that in class - I'm an art student - I was talking with friends about how I don't really know how to draw people in clothes other than the kinds I wear; I'd look in the Sears catalogue to see how normal people would dress. A friend of mine said "Nobody dresses like the Sears catalogue" in a sort of mocking voice... I could hardly look at him for months after that. I thought he hated me, and every time the thought came to mind it left a sick feeling in my stomach. Obviously I got over it - he was even my roommate this summer and we got along great - but it's stuff like that, the little comments that most people don't even think about that kept on leaving me paralyzed. (Weird fact, though - in spite of the fact that talking to a couple of strangers absolutely horrified me, all through high school I loved acting and public speaking. I was actually known for it, and won a couple of awards in our in-school play competitions, volunteered for speeches, things like that. Just thought that might interest you - these things don't always manifest in the way you'd expect.)

When I was looking to do something about it, at first I wasn't too happy with the idea of medication, and my parents REALLY weren't. But most of the therapies involved doing things that scared you, desensitization and all that, and I was having a hard time even taking the first step. I mentioned to a friend of mine that I was going to go on medication and she said, annoyed, "You don't need that, you just need to get out and do stuff." And that upset me an awful lot because I wanted to tell her - what do you know? You don't feel what I feel. She'd been shy, and she'd got over it. But there's a difference between being shy and feeling paralyzed with fear. Being diagnosed was actually a relief for me, because it sort of legitimized this whole thing. Yes, I had a real problem. I wasn't just being a wuss that needed to get over myself. Now, like I said, I'm way better than I was. I talk about being on anxiety medication a lot to my friends, call them my brain pills or crazy pills or something... sometimes I worry I give the impression that I'm proud of it, but that's not it at all. It's just that I feel if I talk about it enough it makes it something that's just a normal part of my life - I feel like if I kept it a secret, that'd mean I was ashamed, and I don't want to be ashamed... I was sick, and now I'm getting better, and that's a good thing.

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If you can figure out a way to get to a psychiatrist (for me it took having a friend find the doctor and make the appointment for me, and then I had to go because canceling the appointment would be too hard :P), medication may be well worth it.

I'm not a totally different person now or anything, but I feel a whole lot better (and my friends and family are all amazed). I used to think I didn't need medication because I could function without it. But now I know there's more to life than just functioning. I don't understand why I let myself suffer so much for 30 years....

I've suspected for a long time that I have Social Anxiety Disorder, but I've never been diagnosed because the thought of even picking up the phone to call for an appointment makes me sick.

It's extremely isolating. Social anxiety isn't something that gets a lot of publicity, so growing up I was always told that I was just shy. I always knew I wasn't normal -- I very clearly remember standing in the hallway of my old elementary school and thinking that nobody else was [i]this[/i] shy. It sounds stupid, but I literally thought that I was the only one in the world who was that introverted.

I first heard the term "social anxiety" on this forum, actually, when I was about 15. It was possibly one of the best things that's ever happened to me -- just discovering that there was a name for what's wrong with me, and that other people were out there going through the same thing, was an indescribable relief. I gained quite a bit of confidence just from knowing that I wasn't alone, although once I stopped labeling myself as a freak I was too afraid of being seen as such by others to tell anyone about the anxiety. I coped by doing extensive research on the internet, and by finding a LiveJournal community to commiserate with. My anxiety doesn't completely go away online, but it's not quite as bad as it is in real life, especially when the people I'm talking to know exactly what I'm talking about.

My thoughts are generally negative and centered around what other people might think. For example, if I'm shopping and buy a shirt I really love but it isn't a style I normally wear, it'll stay hidden away in my closet forever because I'm afraid that other people won't like it. If I say or do something stupid in front of other people, I'll obsess over it for days or weeks afterwards, and I'll avoid the people or place involved, to the point where it sometimes takes months for me to enter a room where I made some minor faux pas without thinking about it and feeling sick, long after everyone else has forgotten or moved on. If I get invited to go somewhere, I'll obsess over whether they [i]really[/i] want me to come or if it's just a pity-invite, and usually (even despite evidence to the contrary) I'll decide upon the latter and just stay home, where I'll spend the whole night berating myself for not having had the courage to go out. Even around people I consider friends, I'm always convinced that I'm annoying them so I try to be independent, which usually leads to them getting frustrated because they always have to make the first move.

My physical symptoms are hard to describe, because when I'm having an anxiety attack I'm so focused on how stupid I must look to other people that I can't really take the time to notice what's going on with my own body. The biggest thing I notice is that my hearing and vision are affected, and I almost always feel extremely nauseas. If it's caused by something specific, then it usually passes within a few minutes, but sometimes I'll just get very anxious for no reason when I'm alone in my room, and that tends to last all night. When that happens it helps to just lie down and listen to music, preferably with earphones so I can sort of block everything else out.

I've only told my mom and a handful of friends about my anxiety, and I had mentioned it on my Facebook profile once but took it down. Most people who know really don't treat me any differently, which is both good and bad. On the one hand, I don't want to be babied and it would probably just make me more anxious to know that they're walking on eggshells around me. On the other hand, it's incredibly frustrating when people expect me to do things at the drop of a hat like go to a party or make a phone call, when I feel like they should know how hard that is for me.

I've never had a panic attack or a diagnose, but I do experience what can only be described as a social anxiety.

I get anxious when people look at me. When I am out in public I usually avoid looking at people, and focus on my feet instead. For the longest of time I would never look people in the eye when I spoke to them, especially if they were strangers, because it just made me so nervous that I couldn't concentrate on anything else than the fact that I was looking them in the eye - should I look in one eye, or the other, or should I look in between the eyes, was it okay for me to look away, what person should I focus on when I was talking to more than one person, how long should I look at the people respectively? It just got too much to handle that I would simply look at the table, or my fingernails, or what have you. I have been trying to work very hard on this issue in the past year, because I decided that it was really rude of me to not look at people when I spoke to them! It has gone surprisingly well, actually. Now I try as hard as I can to do it, and it's going easier and easier the more practice I get. Which has made me a bit more self confident.

I still have other issues to deal with, though. I am terribly anxious about how people judge me. I can change outfits 15 times in the morning because nothing just looks right, I will think that people will look at me and wonder how the hell I could wear something like that.
I will force myself to talk to strangers, but the more I talk to them the more nervous I get, and the larger the risk of me blurting out something stupid gets. Then I will regret it and feel stupid for ages. I can sit today and replay a conversation I had with someone two weeks ago, when I said something slightly strange and they might have judged me badly for that... On the other hand, I will feel equally stupid for not saying anything at all, and will regret sitting quiet in the corner, so it's really a lose-lose situation. This is only when it comes to strangers, though, I have no problems babbling like a maniac with my closest friends, or with at least one person I know well present. Then I can always fall back on that person, and know that they won't judge me for what I am saying, and that gives me a certain calm.

Another thing that cause anxiety is doing things such as oral presentations or huge exams or essays, because this will force me into a situation where people will judge me that is totally out of my control. If I know that I have something unpleasant due I will block up and have trouble getting any work done. I will then feel really bad for not doing anything, and it's all just a bad circle. Obviously this has gotten in the way of plenty of my schoolwork throughout the years, probably hindering me from god knows how many opportunities... I choose not to think about that, or else I would go into anxious overload.

One of my closest friends have many issues similar to mine (which is probably why we are so very close) though she has grave troubles sleeping because she will lay awake at night and worry about things and life in general, whereas I have a more direct "approach" to my anxieties and deal with them mostly while things are in progress. I worry about things in the past and in the future too, of course, but not in the same way.

I haven't been diagnosed with anything, but I definitely have bad anxiety... signs at times.

Everything gets warmer (my whole body, or just my head and hands).... although it's more severe than slight discomfort. Everything is uncomfortable, and all movements (including my own) are amplified. Senses either pick up strange things, or simply amplifies everything. I might persperate more, and when I'm especially nervous I can hear my heart beating. I find it hard to concentrate on anything and my focus either narrows to the subject/place I'm talking to/looking at, or I can't focus anywhere and everything is a blur. Time tends to slow down.

That's all I can recall right now. :X

I'll add that car horns freak me out for some reason. The rest of me is calm at first, but my body temperature rises and I get uncomfortable. I can hear my heart and it's super loud.

The obvious of speaking in front of classes can freak me out, as well. I tend to just not look at the 'audience'.

<3 Amy!

I was diagnosed with an Anxiety Disorder when I was 4 (! I know!) and more specifically Obsessive Compulsive Disorder with Anxiety when I was 13. I have been taking Paxil ever since I was 14, and in surprising turn of events I can say that it actually works for me. I am almost completely cured of all anxiety and OCD related issues. It tapered of slowly, I'd say by the time I was 24 was when I evened out completely, but I started to feel the effects about a month after taking it. Anyway, I just wanted to stick that in there to let you know it's been awhile since I have actually felt extremely anxious, but I do remember it fairly vividly. Also, in case you were thinking of using medication with your character, a lot of people will tell you it doesn’t work because it didn’t work for them. But it does work for some people every so often.
My mom tells me I was an eerily quiet baby, and she realized as I got older that I was quiet all the time because that was my way of dealing with the terrors in my mind. I developed a lot of anxieties around the toilet, and use of it, and I developed obsessive compulsive disorders in order to be able to use the restroom. These rituals caused more anxiety, and made it difficult for me to be away from home. This toilet freak-out went on for years and therefore caused me to develop more rituals and anxieties associated with anything having to do with being away from home. I had social anxieties, travel anxieties, and by the time I was 13 things reached a boiling point where I was so “sick” with anxiety that I didn’t leave the house for a month. Not even for school.
When I had anxiety attacks I would often feel very ill, but in a sort of general way. It would sometimes manifest in my stomach and even caused me to vomit a few times. I would not be able to sleep for a few nights and then feel tired, but I never told my parents that the reason I felt so tired was because I wasn’t sleeping. I would have trouble breathing and hyperventilate.
In my head I often felt out of control. I felt like I had no control over my thoughts at all, and no matter how hard I would try to calm down and not think about things, the thoughts would repeat in my head over and over. It wasn’t like I had another personality or anything; it was me and my personality was always like that. Always worried, always fretting, always freaking out about one thing or another. I took everything way too seriously, so my repetitive thoughts could revolve around my usual toilet issues, or they could revolve around something someone said to me that was mean. It really became a problem when I began to worry that I would worry and ruin everything. For example, before going to school in the morning I would worry that it was going to be one of those days where I worried about using the bathroom at school, and then the worry that I had would come true only because I spent so much time thinking about it. I know that probably doesn’t make a lot of sense- but this was how I was able to maintain a freaking toilet obsession well into my teens. I stop thinking about that original fear that set it off, and started fearing the fear itself.
So, to summarize (in case that all got boring and I’m sure it did), I basically developed an Obsessive Compulsive Disorder with Anxiety attacks based on a fear of a fear I developed when I was 2. I felt out of control of my own thoughts most of the time, I often felt guilty because I couldn’t control my thoughts and felt like I was letting others down, and I had general symptoms of some sort of general illness almost all the time. Sounds pretty bleak! But I assure you I am much better now.

I've always been shy and anxious, but when my family moved during second grade, everything got worse. My town is socially centered around church (13 total in a town of 6,500), but my family doesn't go to church. The only kids around when I was growing up were the Kay baby boy and the Singleton brothers, both much to rowdy for me to play with. I've been to...4 therapists. When I was still in elementary school we went for 'family counseling' because I hated the idea of my younger sister doing anything to embarass me and would get very verbal about my disaproval of her actions. Then we went through 2 more counselers for my shyness and lack of friends through late middle early highschool before I met Camie, my wonderfully sensitive therapist I have been seing for 5 years now.

My first diagnosis was for BiPolar Depression, also called Manic Depressive Disorder. Basically, people who are BiPolar will have very dramatic, sometimes rapid mood swings, which I used to have. But Camie knew that the root of this was my Anxiety. I would get worked up over something and have a lot of energy so I would pace around my house. (side story - I broke my toe pacing. Hurt like hell and made it quite clear to my mother that I was freaked out about needles - the nurse had to lean her whole upper body over my shins to keep my foot still enough to inject the anastetic to straighten the bones out again.) As I thought about what I was doing, I would start to feel bad about being a nusance to my family and get depressed. I also had a hairtrigger temper and would throw things around at the slightest frustration (misspelling a word, shoe coming untied, etc.). As a result I was put on Depakot, a wonderful drug that stopped all of my mood swings - I was depressed *all the time*. I actually ran out of the stuff on a vacation and got instantly better, so we stopped that and I got a different prescribing doctor.

My general anxiety is centered around a few very specific topics - authority figures, needles and failure. It used to be a lot worse with the list being much longer, but I'm on a wonderful medication (Lexapro) and feel much better. Before I was dianosed with GAD I would be afraid to ask a clerk in a store where something was because I thought they would be critical of me. I don't mind being in the spot light when I'm receiving praise, but criticism is very hard for me to take, even today.

I still find it very difficult to talk to my professors about my grades, which has cause major problems in the past. I have to psyc my self up for an appointment with an advisor or a professor or I'll totally freeze up and hide in my room for a week (exaduration). I'm afraid of saying the wrong thing and making them mad at me. They're the one's with the power in the relationship, so I can't offend them or anything like that. I've also had some bad experienecs with being called aside in school and being harsly critizied by teachers and principals (If you want details, message me.) so going to a profs office because I've screwed something up isn paralyzing. I have been to a prof's office once only because she said she would snag me after class to talk to me about an assignment I hadn't been keeping up on. I figured it would be less scary to talk to her in her office on my terms than in the class room with 150 other people to hear the tongue lashing.

Needles freek me out to the point that I need to be mildly sedated to have blood drawn or have an IV put in. When I had my wisdom teeth removed, I was under IV sedation because everyone knew I wouldn't be able to hold still to let them yank out 4 impacted teeth. I needed a full dose of tranqualizer before I got to the oral surgans office so I knew it would be working before he stuck a needle in the back of my hand. It's even worse when I get stuck in the elbow. I have this really strange fear that they'll push it in too far and it'll break off in the joint and be stuck there. As a result, I avoid blood drives like the plague. Even asking me to donate makes my heart beat faster and my chest tighten up. And aparently so does describing the fear o_O.

My fear of failing is harder to describe because it's a sort of nebulous fear. Like right now, I'm afraid that if I don't get off the forums right *now* and study for an exam, I'll fail the exam, fail the course, kill my GPA, flunk out of college and flip burgers for the rest of my life. Or, I'll do something to offend one of my hard won friends to the point that they won't talk to me any more.

These fears have given me feelings similar to a panic attack, but not quite. I feel something more like my social life is in a tail spin and there's no hope so I may as well kill myself (side note - was suicidal for a while. Didn't go through with it, obviously, or attempt, but still gave it serious consideration. Good sameritans e-mail thingy with Jo helped soooooo much.) I can feel this coming on and see my thoughts start to spiral out of control, but sometimes I can't stop it. I'll just work myself in to such a state and cry so hard I litterally get sick, which makes me even more upset to the point that I can't function for 24-48 hours. I know keep a magic little bottle of clonazepam on my desk in case of emergencies, like an upcoming meeting with a professor, a doctor/dental appointment where I *know* I'll get jabbed with a needle, or a tailspin thought attack. I've told my friends and my roommate about my panic attacks because sometimes I get so paralized that I can't take the pill to calm me down. Camie had me tell my RA as well, in case I *really* flip out over something.

My friends are totally suportive of my medication regimine and my therapy sessions, unlike my mom. She doesn't want her 'baby' on 'anti-psychotics' because she's afraid I'll be a different person. I guess I am a different person in a way - a more functional, more easy going version of the me from highschool. Kate especially keeps on me about taking my medication, which keeps me on a very even keel, and they all know what to do when I start to freak.

I think you should write about someone with anxiety. I know I'm not about to do anything like that. You have the ability to do that kind of thing without being afraid. I really hope you go with this idea.

Neither man nor God is going to tell me what to write. -James T. Farrell

Remeber - BACKUP YOUR NOVEL!!!!!!!!!!! I have already lost 6.5k words to a lack of preparadness. Don't fall victim to this same mistake. I'm serious, back it up.

While I don't suffer from any anxiety disorders myself, a close friend of mine does and usually describes her experiences rather vividly. Her anxiety problems stem from a lot of different things - she's had several severe emotional/mental traumas in her childhood, and she's really struggling to recover. All her doctors are, in fact, surprised that she hasn't killed herself yet.

The result of all her problems is not only anxiety disorders, but health problems in general. She has panic disorder - she gets panic attacks fairly often, and the major ones always scare everyone around her, although her closer friends have started to become used to it. She gets heart palpitations, tunnel vision, all kinds of aches and pains, feels lightheaded a lot, and she's even gotten hot flashes. Hyperventilation also happens a lot with her, although she's not quite sure if it's because of the panic attacks or if it's what helps to set them off.

The first time she got a panic attack was really frightening, both to her and people around her. She was... maybe 13 at the time? We had just finished a run in gym and she suddenly started fell to the ground and she couldn't stop screaming and violently shaking. When we (the teachers and her friends) got her to calm down a bit, she was still shaking and lying on the floor. Predictably, her hands were freezing cold and her pulse was extremely unsteady. She begged for a couple of people, me included, not to leave her and to hold her hands. So that's what we did.

Nobody knew that she was having a panic attack. I was acting fairly calm in this situation because I'm a logical person, was already aware of her several health problems, and I was wondering what could've triggered this - whatever it was - and how I could have helped. But I was also scared on some level that her life was under serious threat. Another friend in a similar situation also seemed to handle it very well. A third one, however, was panicking so much that we joked around afterward that she was the one getting a panic attack. Of course, it wasn't funny at the time. That girl couldn't stop crying and constantly asked for her hospitalized friend for the rest of the day. A fourth friend whom wasn't present at the time, after having found out what happened, said that she was glad that she wasn't there. That's a selfish thing to say, but I can understand where she's coming from - she didn't want to go through the experience of having to see her friend suffer.

As for the hospitalized friend in question... she couldn't recall the experience vividly at all - just that she was terrified and felt like she was having a heart attack. For the days afterward, she was still very weak and still experiencing many symptoms. But at least, after that, we all knew what it was and what we had to do if she experienced something like that - call for help in extreme cases, stay close to her, calm her down, and try to let her ride it out.

The most infuriating thing that's come from her condition and the whole experience for us - for her and the people closest to her - is when others, even her friends, can't comprehend how hard it is for her. If we need to change plans to make sure this friend is the most comfortable and won't experience anxiety problems, but those changes happen to cause some inconvenience for other friends, we get a ridiculous amount of opposition and selfish behavior. So not even her supposed close friends are supportive.

Anyway, I hoped this helped you out in some way, though majority of the post was examples on how other people react to somebody with panic disorder... Also, I wonder how many times I've used the word "friend" in this post. XD

I had an anxiety order for about a year where every time I went on a date (and this happened with five different guys) I would puke, either right before or during. It was pretty bad. I wouldn't feel any mental anxiety, except being terrified that I was going to puke, and then I would. It just felt sort of inevitable. It happened on one six-month anniversary (that relationship ended shortly after), on the ground at the Renaissance Festival (and in my mouth that I had to swallow down about 5 times on the car ride there), in one guy's car... It was bad.

To practice any art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow. So do it. - Kurt Vonnegut

I can't say that I have an anxiety disorder, or what I do have even compares to a real case of it, but I hope I can help.

Making phone calls makes me really nervous, as well as answering the phone when I don't know who it is. Why? Beats me over the head with a stick. I tend to talk quietly on the phone, and stumble over my sentences sometimes. My hands get a little sweaty.

Also, giving any kind of presentation in front of people. I can do it, I've done it, and I hate it. My brain gets a little fuzzy and, again, my hands get clammy and sweaty. Even if I have the paper or whatever memorized or in front of me, I mess up what I'm supposed to say, as well as I start shaking violently.

Thankfully I don't have to do either of these often, and like I said, it's not actually a disorder, nor do I want to be diagnosed with one, but it could perhaps help a bit.

Nano 2005: Trial of Errors: 2,000 words (approx)
Nano 2006: Bathroom Love: 8,000 words (approx)
Nano 2007: Soul Asylum: 21,407 words
Nano 2008: Cracked (tentative): N/A

I'm taking medication for depression and anxiety, both of which I inherited from my mother.

The anxiety started sometime early in high school. My heart would race, I'd feel dizzy and nauseous, and I'd just want to run away from wherever I was. I wouldn't talk to people outside of my handful of friends and didn't want to leave my home. Once on a school trip I locked myself in the bus' bathroom for three or four hours. I tried to develop coping mechanisms; I would repeat phrases to myself over and over, I would count from one into the thousands, I would rub my hands together, all sorts of random things. Some nights I couldn't sleep because I was convinced that if I went to sleep I would stop breathing and die. My mother would sit by me as I lay in my bed and promise me that she'd watch to make sure I kept breathing.
I dropped 25 pounds simply because I was barely eating. This was because I had developed a phobia of throwing up in public.
I was in choir and could barely last through our onstage performances because I was convinced that I was either going to throw up, faint, or that I was going blind (which is probably the oddest one, considering that I could see just fine...)
In classes I would sit closest to the door at the end of a row, because I felt that if I was going to throw up I could run out of the room very fast and no one would see me. I would constantly check the clock to see how long until class ended and I could leave the room, immediately I would feel alot better.
Oh I also got attacks in cars, busses, planes, and when going through tunnels. Anything small and closed-in and I thought I was going to suffocate.
Originally as a high school freshman I refused medication and counseling because I felt that taking medication was admitting that something was "wrong" with me. As a freshman in college, towards the end of the year I finally decided that I couldn't take it anymore and I was willing to try: the problem was as soon as I took the pills I got massive attacks thinking that the pills were poisoning me. I spent my entire spring break laying on the couch only eating applesauce and crackers.
We tried again in the summer and this time I was ok!!
So, now I am medicated and for the first time in a long while, life is good! I have actually made friends this year at college, whereas last year I was too afraid to speak to anyone or even ask them to go get dinner with me. It's so different and great.
I hope anything I said helped. If you have more questions just pm me.

Here's a great list of phobias.
http://www.phobialist.com/
Many of these could be considered social if they are likely to occur out in public.
My partner had Emetophobia (fear of vomit) which stopped us catching public transport at night, and staying long times socialising with friends out at pubs, because drunk people catch public transport and go to pubs, and drunk people vomit.

To pick one at Random: Antlophobia- the fear of floods. The person in extreme forms will avoid all rivers, and the ocean (tidal waves), possibly sewers and drains. Streets have storm water drains. Your character won't be going near those. Especially on a rainy day.

One thing I learnt with my partner, there is no rational when a phobia is involved. The rational mind takes a holiday for a while and the only thing to do is keep the person safe and reassured until the feared threat is gone.
Thankfully she received help and for Nano this year we're having an all-night write in at a 24 hour bakery, on a Friday night, next to a pub. There may be drunks in the area, there may be vomit, but she knows she'll be okay.

Pervert's Paradise- the sequel (yeah, it's a working title)