Tell me about your bad dates!

One date choked on a piece of steak and tried to die on me.

"Many people hear voices when no one is there. Some of them are called mad and are shut up in rooms where they stare at the walls all day. Others are called writers and they do pretty much the same thing."
- Margaret Chittenden

How about having a mom, a sister, and a nephew along on the date? Or having the ex call in the middle?

How about both on one date? (Sad, but true.)

NaNo '08: Title "Out of the Fishbowl" WON!!

Motto for NaNo: "Where there is caffeine, there is a way!"

I took a girl to a dance once. She's hypoglycemic, and she fainted on me during the last dance. Scared the heck out of me. It wasn't my worst date by far, but really scary.

Took my girlfriend out once, and had three different guys hit on her.

None of my worst date stories are funny situations, they all rather suck.

Sodas Consumed (12 oz can): 2
One Liners: 0
Deaths: 3
Broken Weapons: 0
Random Objects Used as Weapons: 0
Times Mother's Wrath Has Been Brought Upon Me: Infinity and Counting

It didn't happen to me, but one of my roommates was once invited over for dinner by a classmate.

She arrived and discovered that it wasn't just dinner, as she'd expected, but as she put it it was a lesbian dinner. She'd stumbled into a date without realizing it. Making matters worse, everyone else in her class seemed to realize that it was a date and asked her how it went. "Did you enjoy your date?"

A quick wit's best accompanied by quick reflexes.

Mine was with a girl but that probably doesn't matter.
First we met at the library for some reason (she wanted to meet there) and she just sat there and looked at this computer book, trying to look smart. Then she took me to dinner, at McDonalds. She ate really grossly, like she had a McChicken and sauce was on her mouth and in the span of like a minute she managed to insult my friends mum and anyone who works at a movie theater (most of my friends at the time) and also kinda indirectly insulted me. Then she actually talked about how many guys she has slept with and who she wouldn't sleep with because of diseases... and then she went on and on about STD's. Seriously. That was our first date. It was a blind date, too.

Freshman year of college, I went on a date with this guy from my physics class, going to a football game. First he showed up about an hour late, leaving me feeling dumb as I stood in the dorm lobby waiting for him. Then he explained that he was late because he was having some intense discussion about some software with his roommate, and then he proceeded to repeat the entire conversation (the whole hour of it). When we were at the game, the crowd was doing "the wave," and he said, totally serious, "hey! lets calculate the frequency!" It's not particularly funny, but that's the worst date I've had, I'm afraid I don't have too many good stories.
Although there's a girl I know who had a REALLY bad first date, almost unbelievable bad. She's really good at telling it, but I'll do my best with what I remember. I'm probably forgetting some of the awkward moments, it's quite a hilarious story told by the right person...
It was a blind date, her parents and his parents set them up or something, and she was 16 and he was 21, which is already awkward enough. But then they get to dinner, and they sit down and order their food or whatever. Then he asks, "Do you remember my name?" And of course she blanks out, and says, "Um, sorry, no. Remind me of it again?" And he pulls out a little notebook and writes down that she forgot his name (and continues to write down good and bad points throughout the evening). I can't remember exactly what happened during dinner, but I'm pretty sure someone spilled salad dressing on the other at some point. Then when they were driving to the movies afterwards, apparently my friend's dinner didn't agree with her stomach, because she gets really queasy. The date had already been awkward/bad enough, so she didn't say anything for the longest time. Finally she couldn't take it anymore, she felt so sick that she didn't even want to open her mouth to say anything for fear of being sick all over his car, so she opened up the window and threw up out the window. Then they went home instead of the movies, but by the time she was home, she was feeling better, so she changed her clothes and they, along with all the parents, finished off the evening by washing the guy's car (because vomit had gotten streaked down the outside). Ew.

Oh I have a good one. I went out for coffee with a guy, first date just met him type of deal. We seemed to get along great and were joking around the whole time. As he drove me home, we started telling sex jokes. Apparently this was a bad idea. Next thing I know he had his hand on my.. well... chest, not just touching either i might add. Needless to say I got out of that car very fast. Afterwards I wished i at least smacked him, but I was just so shocked I had no idea what to do.

In case your interested he apologized to me for a week xP

I went on a horrible blind date with a guy who called me about six times in the span of a couple days before the date to tell me the EXACT SAME THING each time ("So here's the plan: we'll go to this movie, then dinner, then a club" "Okay" *ring ring* "Hello?" "Okay, so I was thinking we could go to a movie, then we could go out to dinner, then go out to this club" "Yeah..." *ring ring* "Hey, so, how about we go to a movie..." ad nauseum). Then it turned out he was a complete ignoramus, had no idea there was civilization in Europe, warned me about the "colored folks" in Texas and tried to open a conversation with "So, have you had your flu shot yet this year?"

OH GOD IT WAS AGONIZING.

I had a date with this guy. It was fairly decent. Went to a jazz concert and all.

Then he started to get creepy. Made plans to say that we'll be living together in some apartment, how I should act as his girlfriend, etc, etc, etc.

It was only the third date.

I cut it off right then and avoided him after. Problems ensued a bit in the avoidance but that's a whole another story.

I just wanted to say THANKS for posting this. My character goes to a speed-dating session and I was thinking of having some truly awkward situations there, but was getting a little stumped beyond the obvious - insulting someone by accident, spilling something on them.

I'll also share one of mine. It wasn't a date, it was a Christmas night out with some friends from uni. At the time one of these friends was seeing a medical student and so he brought a couple of his friends along. We all sort of paired off with respective partners and spare males and were playing doubles pool. I was with one of the medical students, a very nice guy, who after a little discussion about the places that we lived decided it was time to compliment me on my appearance.

His line? "You have nice, wide, child-bearing hips."

I wish it had been in context, but it was just sort of out of the blue and it sort of killed the conversation between us for the rest of the night.

In Scotland? Come visit Bute - details in the Glasgow Thread.

Go Team Erato!

I had a blind date with a guy a co-worker thought would be perfect for me. She passed his number along, so we'd spoken a few times. I jokingly asked him if I should wear flats because I'm quite tall and I don't like being too much taller than a date. He swore he was 6'1 and it wouldn't be an issue (I'm 5'10).

We met for coffee at a coffee shop, and it was too close to closing, so the band packed up and they started blaring rock music, so I missed out on his discussion of his job, something about blindness research (all sound, from what I could hear, very impressive and interesting) and finally we stood to say goodnight, and he didn't come up past maybe eye level (and I was in flip flops).

He told my coworker he didn't think he'd ask me out again - I didn't seem very interested in his career! So, I guess we were both bad dates!

(My very first date - the guy in question kicked over a large soda in the middle of the most emotional scene of the movie trying to put the moves on me. Laughing when you're supposed to be tearing up, and getting the moves put on you? Mood killer, or so I hear =))

a storytelling community for grown ups

My first real date, but can probably be borrowed for adults rather than 16-year-olds:

We were going to a Shakespeare play in another town, and my date made us late for our train so he could buy a Doctor Who classic comic (this was a good decade before Davies and Eccleston brought Who back, by the way), then ignored me for the hour ride to our destination in favour of said comic. I hadn't brought a book because I thought it'd be rude.

We arrived in town and we went to lunch - at a chain store's cafeteria. I was told to "get yourself something quick to eat; we're running late" so my meal was a tuna sandwich and a packet of crisps. He ordered fish and chips and sent it back to the kitchen three times, then proceeded to demonstrate appalling table manners, stuffing his mouth with chips and talking about Doctor Who and similar (despite my total lack of interest, which I tried to hide as best I could) with his mouth full. I got sprayed with potato bits and he ended up wrapping his fish up in a single-ply paper napkin and sticking it in the bag with his comic book. Apparentlly saving it for later. Yeah. He kept insisting we were going to be late, and yet dragged me into a branch of HMV to look at cult sci-fi tapes ... but the minute I wandered off to look at something I was actually interested in, he tracked me down and insisted that we didn't have time to look at any of that.

We got to the theatre? They hadn't even opened the doors yet.

In the end, we got there, got seated and the show began. And this man, who prided himself on his impending English A-level and his apparently high IQ, jabbed me in the ribs with his elbow repeatedly with the query of, "What's he on about?" Apparently, despite this being his suggestion, he didn't get Shakespeare worth a damn. I finally managed to get him to be quiet ... which is when he went to pull his comic out of the bag, apparently set to read it during the performance. I was mortified, but felt better when he put it back without opening it - I thought he'd seen sense.

I found out why he'd done that during the intermission - turns out his fish, still in the bag, had leaked grease through his single-ply paper napkin and ruined his comic book. This was followed by him handing me the greasy paper-wrapped wad and telling me to dispose of it for him. Which I did so as not to cause a scene.

The second half of the show involved getting further nudges and questions as to what the actors were on about, and on our way home, he informed me that I was overdressed ... after having nagged me for about three days before the date to 'wear something really smart'. And he was apparently surprised when I wouldn't give him a good-night kiss.

My worst date ever, ladies and gentlemen.

This guy worked with my mom's boyfriend and when I stopped in one day we started talking and I gave him my number. For the next week, I got to hear from my mom's partner about how the guy wouldn't stop talking about me and was so thrilled to get my number. He even elaborated to my mother's boyfriend about how hot he thought I was.

So, one night my dad and I met up at the local bar to grab some food and catch up, and the guy calls me wanted to know if I want to get some drinks or something. I told him I was already at the bar if he wanted to just meet me there. His response was that he and a friend had just bought a 30-pack (note that I don't drink beer, at least not cheap cans of crap) and they wanted to put a dent in that before they went out. So he and the friend pick me up at the bar and we go to the friend's house. They drink a few beers, I sip one just for something to do, and the guy proceeds to play darts while his friend and I have a great conversation about comedians we like and so forth.

So we move on to the bar, but of course we aren't driving. They call the bar's drunkmobile (the guy who doesn't drink but hangs out there to make sure people have a safe ride) to pick us up and take us to the bar. On the ride, I get a text from an old friend of mine who is home on leave from the Navy and, wouldn't you know it, is at the bar. So we pull up, I spot my friend, and of course he and the guy I'm with know each other. So they start talking and I buy myself a drink (and give them both a bit of crap about neither of them offering me one).

Long story short, the guy who asked me out spent the whole night playing darts and chatting with his friends. I, with nothing to do, drank myself into oblivion (what else is a girl to do when pretty much by herself at a bar?). I spent more time talking to my Navy friend than my date; he also bought me drinks half the night while my date continued to ignore me. The guy didn't even notice when my friend and I left to buy cigarettes.

At a certain point, it's clear that I need to get home, and my date is oblivious. So my friend (who, in retrospect, shouldn't have been driving either) offers to drive me home. I tell the guy who asked me out that I'm going home, even better that another guy is driving me there, and he doesn't flinch. He did, however, later tell me that my getting drunk wasn't the best impression to make on a first date. Incredible.

Date sucked, but at least I got to catch up with my old friend.

-----
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here."

ML for New York :: Southern Tier

This thread is hysterical. Your character is going to be a great addition to your story, maybe the running gag throughout.

"Many people hear voices when no one is there. Some of them are called mad and are shut up in rooms where they stare at the walls all day. Others are called writers and they do pretty much the same thing."
- Margaret Chittenden

My friend once went on a date during which she tripped and spilled coffee on her date's back. Later, her date accidentally let a tree branch hit her in the face.

Unsurprisingly, they never went out on a date with each other again. I believe they never talked again, actually.

Oh my god, I have a million of these, and I don't even go on formal dates that often!

- One guy I had met at a party and he seemed pretty chill so I agreed to go out with him. He picked me up and we planned to see a movie, so I hopped in the car to go to the theater. Maybe a minute after we'd hopped onto the highway, he looks at me and asks "road head?" So I laughed, figuring it was a joke. He turns back, dead serious, and tells me he's not kidding. That made for a somewhat awkward night.

- I went out with this guy who was an EMT once. Not knowing that I, too, am an EMT, he starts telling me about these "wild stories" he's got from out in the field. Knowing what town he rode for and having what I later found out was about twice the call experience he had, I knew off the bat he was making up or strongly embellishing a good 90% of it all. When I mentioned to him that I ride too, he got angry and said that I was really low of me to let him go at it. I was just too amused to stop him.

- Another date I had, we'd decided to go hiking. Halfway through, he breaks his ankle and I spend the rest of the night with him in the ER getting x-rays.

- Went on a date once and both of us ran into ex-significant others on the same night. Good reason not to date locals ;)

2007
Untitled - 78,526 (Abandoned post-NaNo)

Okay, so I have 3 dates to share... all with the same guy. In my defense, I'm really not a glutton for punishment. My mentor at work set me up and I was trying to give him the benefit of a doubt.

Date 1: We met at a hamburger shop. I realized as I got in line that I had left my wallet at home (along with my driver's license, credit cards, money, etc) and I apologized profusely. I asked if he'd mind covering me, this once, at least (main entrees cost around $5) and he grimaced before saying "Fine... just pay me back." Seriously.

Date 2: We met at a movie theater. He got there a few minutes before me. Not only did he not buy my ticket, but he didn't even wait for me. He bought his, then went and stood on the inside of the divider, by the snack bar. He just stood there and watched me while I waited in line on my own, bought my own ticket, and then finally got inside to join him.

Date 3 (The Last Straw): We went on a "double date" with my roommate and her interest at the time. Her boy ended up paying for all four of us, since my date wasn't about to pay (notice a trend, yet?). It had snowed really bad that day, and my car was completely blocked in, thanks to snow plows. My roommate and I didn't own a shovel, so we'd been planning on digging my car out with pots and pans, but my date mentioned he'd spent all day shoveling his parents' and neighbors' drives. I asked if we could borrow the shovel, so after we finished bowling he drove me over to his place to get it. On the way there, he told me "Just get it back to me when you're done." Super confused, I explained that it would really only take a few minutes to clear my car. I'd just give it back to him right away... to which he replied "I told my friends I'd go sledding with them. I need to take off." Yep. That's right. He was going to leave his date to dig her own car out so he could go sledding with his friends. Let's just say I was less than impressed. We ended up digging my car out with the baking sheets rather than "impose" on his precious shovel.

Well, there was the blind date who was talking about marriage about half an hour after we'd met. He was also super religious (which I'm not), told me his family members were the only friends he needed, talked about his ex and almost started crying, and told me that on the weekends he hung about in a park by himself in his homemade Lord of the Rings costume, just for fun. I was so dumbfounded by the last that all I could manage to say was, "Um...I...like Lord of the Rings too?" (I was still trying to grasp for common ground at that point; it was probably in the first 10 minutes of the date). To which his reply was a query as to whether I had some sort of costume and an invitation to join him sometime.

Needless to say, I didn't.

This is how you do it: you sit down at the keyboard and you put one word after another until it's done. It's that easy, and that hard. - Neil Gaiman

It wasn't mine, it was my cousin's, but I'll tell it anyway.

She went on jdate.com and met a guy. When she met him, they went out to eat, and she hadn't eaten earlier because she was preparing to go to dinner with him. When they sat down, they started talking, only to find out his parents were over 70 and that they requested to meet her right away.. his reasoning? They wanted to meet her before they died. Then they ordered food, and he only ordered an appetizer with little triangle sandwiches. It came with four little triangles,.. and he asked to split it with her because he wasn't hungry and it was too much. After one little triangle, he was full, and he made rude comments about her eating her dinner for the rest of the meal. Needless to say, she never met his parents :P

These are great...I think I might have to add a comic relief character to my story and have her have bad date after bad date...hmmmm

My worst date: ages ago I went to the cinema to see Lord of the Rings: Return of the King with a guy I hooked up with during some weird party of a friend's. He did not pay for my ticket, although he did buy me food later.

You all know the gigantic spider in there? I'm an arachnophobe, I was terrified. I was shivering in my seat and he didn't even notice, while he was sitting right next to me! Oblivious...

After the movie, I told him to call his parents to pick us up, but he had to go to the bathroom. I told him to call his parents first because we could then wait for them while he went to the bathroom. Whaddya think? Dude went straight to the bathroom and left me waiting for at least 15 minutes, by myself, and finally calls his parents when he comes out.

Because of his late phonecall, we had to spend another 20 minutes waiting. Outside. In the January cold. Yet again, I was shivering because it was freezing out there. Did he notice? No. He didn't offer me his coat, he didn't put his arm around me, nothing!

I caught a severe cold right after the date and broke up with him soon after.

NaNoWriMo 2006: Natalia's Journey (won!)
NaNoWriMo 2007: The Pride of King Julius (won!)
NaNoWriMo 2008: Hatoshi's Reality

"Hot chocolate is my coffee!"

I dated a civil engineer when I was in college. Civil engineers are the guys who make sure the buildings stay up, and there's enough volume in the plumbing system for all the toilets to flush at once. So, one day, he tells me he has a surprise for me. Or something to that effect. I don't really remember, but I thought it was a big deal. I was supposed to find a whole day for the super secret activity, and I dressed up, and everything.

So, we got in the car. And we drove. And drove. About a hundred fifty miles, we drove. To the middle of nowhere, we drove.

Several hours later, and about halfway through the state, we stopped. Where, you might ask?

Yeah. I had no idea where I was, or what the hell I was looking at, either. We were in an empty parking lot, outside very empty county fairgrounds. And if you have been to rural Nebraska, you know exactly how empty county fairgrounds can be in the early spring. Nothing. Not even a chicken. And this guy is climbing out of the car with a grin on his face like he'd gotten reservations at the best place in town. (not in that town. Ma's Country Kitchen doesn't take reservations, of course.)

So, I'm standing there, in the middle of an empty parking lot, dressed to go... well, someplace nice, and not a clue what I'm doing. "Well?" sez he.

Still no idea? Didn't think so. I didn't figure it out, either.

As it turns out, we were there to see the parking lot. The guy had designed it, and was really proud of it, and we had spent the whole morning driving to see it.

I used to be a regular caller to a local radio station, and was a rather minor celebrity for a time (my 15 minutes), and had fun chats off-air with one particular DJ. One day, out of the blue, he called me and asked me out to lunch! I thought this was about the coolest thing that had happened to me in awhile. Where would one of the town's hottest DJ's take me to lunch? Well, he picked me up in the station van, took me to the Burger King drive-thru because he had coupons, and then we sat in the parking lot while he signed autographs for anybody who spotted the van. And when he took me home, he just dropped me off at the nearest intersection, because he had an appearance to get to. Shortly after, I started listening to a different radio station.
>8-)

ok, I find this pretty funny now, even though it was traumatic at the time. I went out with my friend's cousin. The date wasn't too bad. I didn't like him though. The attraction just wasn't there. He went to go kiss me goodnight, and I turned my cheek to him. He got mad and bit me. Right on the cheek. He actually broke skin!! I was walking around with a bite mark on my face! My friend ended up blaming me and we never spoke again.

And now this one is recent. I met a man, and I really liked him. I live about 45 minutes from him, but I am near where he lives often enough. He cancelled our first real date, twice. Then, when we finally get together he has to leave after 15 minutes. The second time we get together he only sees me for about 20 minutes. I know he is busy with work, but i deserved more time than that!

Nine hour marathon date right after midterms, a guy who deliberated about giving his date a ride home at 3 in the morning, an awkward dance, poor bladder control, and a guy who insisted on speaking in Japanese and translating for himself.

Also known as the Worst Saturday Night Ever.

yikes, getting stood up to go see "horsefeathers" doesn't look nearly so bad after these.

http://dragcave.net/user/BoyGenius%201991
Come and look at my dragons! :)

2009 JulNoWriMo
"Discharge!" A tale of teenage rebellion, speed metal, and superheroics!

I've never actually been on an official date, having been born and raised in a town of 1500 people with nothing much to do. But I do have a funny date story. A friend of mine was set up on a blind date by another friend. She was told that this friend of hers from her hometown was cute, funny, sweet and adorable, just moved to town and wanted to meet some nice girls. She agreed to go out with him. First of all, he was not cute, nor was he sweet and funny. In fact, he was obese and in denial about the fact, and quite immature, constantly making sex jokes. They met at the entrance of Wal-Mart, because the date would start after he finished his shift. He took her out for supper, at the McDonald's in the Wal-Mart, because he got a discount there. (Can we say cheap?) He ordered three double cheeseburgers and extra large fries, and said she shouldn't eat so much when she ordered a Big Mac. Next they went to the nearby pet store to pet the cats, and afterward (in the middle of January!) they went for a walk to check out the new stores that had been built in the area. Needless to say, just walking around to SEE the new stores and not actually shop in them was not very fun at all, especially while listening to crude jokes. She was not happy when she got home from the date, and refused to speak to the friend that had set them up for at least two months.

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I think, therefore I'm dangerous. I write, therefore I am.

____

~*Wolfen*~
♥♥ I think, therefore I'm dangerous. I write, therefore I am. ♥♥

I'm pretty sure I *gave* someone a "worst date" story. The names have been changed to protect the innocent.

My friend Oscar was somewhat dating this girl named Nicole. For my birthday, I went on a double date with them and my long term girlfriend Alissa, with whom I'd been having problems. During the date, Oscar acted like a total ass and embarrassed the hell out of himself. At the same time, Nicole and I really, really hit it off. Nicole and I shared a ton of things in common - arts, music, theatre, books... I mean everything. However, at the same, my GF and I really got back together.

After the date, Nicole decided to dump Oscar. But... she was apparently very attracted to me. She actually considered asking Oscar for my number, but felt weird (for obvious reasons). She also knew that I was into my GF into a big way.

Fast forward six months. My GF and I had broken up. I was out at a club with some friends to shake it off. And who's there? Nicole of course. She and I talked for hours outside, like we'd known each other for years. So, I asked her out (of course).

To make a long story short, Nicole was an awesome girl, very cool, beautiful, fun, artsy, brilliant (full ride to an Ivy League school). Very much into me (for some reason). I mean, nothing could go wrong. We were made for each other. It was like I'd met my soul mate.

Yeah. Not so fast.

I was a complete jackass. I asked her drive over my house. From there, we drove down to the beach, intending to go a nice restaurant. Stupid me, I forgot to fill up my gas tank. We ran out of gas in the middle of the damn causeway to the beach and had to walk three miles to a gas station. Buy a jerry can and a few gallons of gas for it, then walk three miles back to the car. All the while party people are driving by and yelling and throwing crap at us. Fill it up. Then drive to the restaurant, smelling like gas and car exhaust. Sexy!

I was so shattered and embarrassed that I could barely speak the entire night. She did most of the talking, and eventually got fed up with me, actually saying to my face "Yeah, I talk a lot, especially when my dates are boring." For some reason, we even ended up going Dutch on the bill. And then we drove back in near silence. I was totally mortified. I'd completely blown the single greatest opportunity I'd had with that terrific girl.

At least in the end I got a kiss and a "You're a cool guy." So pitiful... On the good side of things, it actually helped me get over my ex-GF and move on, by showing me that there really is more than one person out there for everybody.

Click here for my blog.

It wasn't actually a date, but I guess the guy thought it was. He came to my house after he was done with work, and I already had a boyfriend and just wanted to hang out. I assumed he knew about my boyfriend from my facebook profile (stupid of me). Anyway, he kept trying to get really close to me and stuff and when he tried to kiss me, I pulled away and said, "What are you doing? I have a boyfriend." Turns out it wouldn't have mattered even if he had known, because he pretty much said, "So what?" and, longer story short, admitted that he had just wanted to see me to, I quote, "bang the shit out of me." It was my first experience nearly being used. It hurt a lot at the time, but looking back now, I think it's pretty funny how it happened.

There was one time when my ex was with me at my house and we were sitting on the couch. He was tickling my feet (the most ticklish part of my body) and I accidentally kicked him right under the eye and drew blood! Fortunately he thought it was hilarious.

~All you need is faith, trust, and a little bit of pixie dust!~

This one time a guy on the bus asked me out. I said yes so we agreed to meet up at the bus the following week. When we did, he asked me if I minded McDonalds, which I kind of did but didn't really want to seem a jerk, so I said sure. The reason he wanted to go, I found out, was because he had some buy one get 1 free coupons, so whatever I ordered he got for free...so basically I bought him lunch when I thought we were going to go Dutch. He was uber-cheap and complain-y, which normally I wouldn't mind but he was super-annoying about it. I mean, it was McDonalds, couldn't he even shell out three bucks for his own burger?

Anyway, it didn't work out. We were sort of comfortable talking to each other but there was an undercurrent of awkwardness. It turned out he was a lot older than I thought he was. And he was divorced and had a kid (!) and was overall a bit of a sleazeball with a lame sense of humor. Oh, and then at the end he told me I was a bad kisser, so I was like, forget you, dude.

Lesson learned: don't date guys you meet on the bus because they will only make you buy them lunch and insult your make out skills.