Mainstream Novel Swap

First, I would like to say that the novel I am offering is not finished because my computer died on Saturaday the 29th. Luckily, I still have past back ups in my e-mail so, the novel I am offering is 3,662 words short. That being said, here it what my novel is!

Title: Oil and Water

Length, Draft and Language: 47,454 words, first draft, English

Brief Summary (not more than 300 words): A young killer whale and her pod experience hardship after an oil spill in their habitat. She is removed from her pod, and the ocean, for "rehabilitation" and is named Sala. A'me Lake is one of the trainers caring for her. Odd things begin to occur at the park that turn both A'me and Sala's lives upside down.

Sub Genre & Keywords - orca, killer whale

Known Issues - There are plot holes. It's unfinished.

Critique Requested - What would you like to see more of? What aspect of the story really got your attention? What should I cut out or rewrite?

Critique Tolerance - Be as harsh as you would like.

Experience & Goals - This is my second NaNoNovel. I have no publishing plans. This is just for fun.

Method of Communication - E-mail is best because I will have limited computer access.

Disclaimers: There is some disturbing content involving a kipnapping.

I would like critiques to be completed by March so I can begin the revision stage.

Thanks

NaNoNovels:
2007: Flight and Fire
2008: Oil and Water

Title: The Silence of Perfection

Length, Draft and Language: 61,637 words, first draft, English

Brief Summary (not more than 300 words): One family - many problems. Abby wants a baby, desperately, but after complications from a teenage pregnancy is having trouble conceiving now she has met her Mr Right. Enter Christina, Abby's daughter - a straight A Student with dreams of going to university who has just found out she is pregnant. She doesn't want it - but her mother does....

Sub Genre & Keywords - Family, pregnancy,

Known Issues - It's a first draft - a few parts are very rushed.

Critique Requested - Plot points, Characterization, The ending (in terms of plot) Just generally what you think of it and if you enjoyed it.

Critique Tolerance - Constructive criticism - this is only for fun so I don't want to be slated!

Experience & Goals - This is my first Nano. I have written a few things before but nothing special. This is just for fun.

Method of Communication - E-mail but send me a nanomail if you are interested first.

Disclaimers: There is some disturbing content involving a miscarriages.

Thank you!

Screnzy 08 : I Promise : 18 pages :(
Nano 08 : The Silence of Perfection : 61,637 words :)

Title: A Fall of Glory

Length, Draft and Language" 50,204 words, 1st draft, English (Canadian spelling)

Brief Summary (not more than 300 words) Synopsis: Fall of Glory
Environmental Science professor and avid eco-tourist, David Graham searches for adventure in his day-to-day life. When he attempts to patent the solar car he has invented, he gets more than he had bargained for. He finds himself fighting for his beloved invention and, moreover, his life as he starts to recieve some very pressing 'offers' from a few powerful multination cartels. In this time of global uncertainty and amidst the oil crisis, alternitives to natural gas must be found. The only question is -- will the upper echelons of global oil companies let this happen? Money is power, after all. Just how powerful are the forces that we depend so much upon? How far will they go?

Sub Genre & Keywords: Environment, action, thriller, science (minorly), assassination, Canada, solar car, corporation, scandal, romance, professor...

Known Issues: There are a few...not plot holes, really. More like plot inconsistensies. I'm working on those currently, but nothing majorly affects the central arc, I don't think...I also tend to use some words frequently (they're called 'echo words' I believe). Please kill them.
I'm unsure if I may, at points, give away too much information. Help?

Critique Requested: Plot, pace, characterization, description.

Critique Tolerance: Whatever you're up to.

Experience & Goals: This is my first novel, but not my first large piece. I've been writing for a few years now, and want to have a second opinion. I would love to publish, but I don't really know yet where my work fits on a literary scale.

Method of Communication: Email.

Anything else?: Take as long as you like, but if it's not your thing, don't be afraid to say so. : )

Reply by nanomail, please.

Thanks, all!

"Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass." -- Anton Chekov

Title: Spotlight

Length, Draft and Language: 50,142 words, first draft, English

Brief Summary:

Maria Cunningham has a decent life. She works at Sainsbury's in York, she has an awesome best friend... but something's missing. There's no excitement, nothing for her to work toward. On a whim, she decides to answer one of the ads in NME Magazine, placed there by a band looking for a singer... but she never expected them to take her! What happens when she finds out that they're serious?

Sub Genre & Keywords: A little romance, a little angst. Centers on a rock band in London.

Known Issues: There's gaping plot holes, I know that. I probably should quit changing topics so fast, too.

Critique Requested: Plot, characterization, any technical errors (I know there will be a few).

Critique Tolerance: Whatever you feel like giving - but try to be gentle, I'm a little nervous :(

Experience & Goals: This is my first NaNoNovel, but I've been writing other things for a couple of years. I don't know if I want to publish it, but eventually it would be a cool possibility.

Method of Communication: E-mail would be best, NaNoMail me first.

Disclaimers: Nothing really terrible, I glossed over most of the serious issues. I've probably butchered a few Cockney slang words?

"It's like, that people ... Inside them they've all got unimaginable, magnificent, wonderful, stupid, amazing worlds... not just one world. Hundreds of them. Thousands, maybe. Isn't that a weird thought?" - Neil Gaiman

I would love to swap my novel, but it's in italian... I could just read if you need it!

Edit to my little post up there:

Since I'm tweaking/rearranging the first draft a bit, I made a 10.5 page synopsis of the story with all of the scenes and important stuff in it that I've been giving out to friends to critique...I figure I may as well get the plot down first before I get too crazy with the actual draft itself.

So if you want to read that first, please let me know! The actual draft will be available asap :)

----------
Nano 2004: Untitled (2k) - Lost miserably
Nano 2006: New Westbridge (37,400) - Almost there!
Nano 2007: Winter in Woodbury (50,063) - Won!!
Nano 2008: Layers (50,070) - Won!!

And now for editing....
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Title
The Iron Maiden

Length, Draft and Language
52K. Rough draft. English.

Brief Summary (not more than 300 words)
Dr. Jonathan Miller, an American scholar of the Italian Renaissance, returns to the city of Florence. He meets Antonella, grandniece of eccentric spice dealer Carlo Lippi, and Rudy Salerno, an artist from New York City.

Emma Skelling, whose field is medieval Florence, warns Jonathan off Antonella. People of the old families, Emma tells him, carry an ancient understanding in their blood. And the morals of that past are very different from ours.

Jonathan and Antonella begin a romance based on their shared enthusiasm for the works of Dante and the beauty of Florence. But when Major Paulus Supramanputra, an Indonesian business associate of Uncle Carlo's, arrives, Carlo insists Antonella marry the army officer and take over the family business.

Antonella's revealed heritage -- her ancestors served as torturers for the rulers of Europe -- forces Jonathan to abandon his naïveté.

Jonathan, Rudy, and Emma confront Paulus and Uncle Carlo in the Lippi villa. Jovial Uncle Carlo admits to being not a spice merchant, but a torture consultant to the world's most brutal regimes. He relates the history of the Lippi and confesses to murdering Antonella's parents.

After they threaten Jonathan, Antonella decides to leave with her uncle and Paulus. Jonathan tells her Carlo's secret. Antonella promises she will return to Jonathan.

Accompanied by Emma and Rudy, Jonathan resumes his work in Florence but his attempt to forge a new relationship with the city he loves, fails.

A year later, and a week before he must return to the US, Jonathan receives a letter. Antonella and Paulus are married. Uncle Carlo died soon after the wedding; the police do not suspect her. She and Paulus have a son and their marriage is now one of convenience. She plans to return to Florence and wants to be with Jonathan. He cannot face seeing her again, and leaves for home.

Sub Genre & Keywords
Romance, psychological thriller, Italy, art history, Renaissance, medieval, Dante, Florence.

Known Issues
Rough draft. Theme sketchy, with underdeveloped ideas.

Critique Requested
Since this is a rough draft, I need feedback on the basics. Forget any grammar issues. Does the plot work; do the characters (actions, dialogue, descriptions) make sense? Where is the romance believable and where is it hokey? What do you think the theme is? Should I tone down the rape scene (this is for a general adult audience)? What do you think is missing? What is over-emphasized?

Critique Tolerance
Stark realities are appreciated. I've participated in critique groups for four years. I will, of course, tell you what I like about your novel but my critiques tend to be blunt.

Experience & Goals
My background is short fiction. This is the second time I've completed a draft of a novel. I have four other novels in various stages of completion, sitting in files. I hope to submit a rewrite of The Iron Maiden for publication.

Method of Communication
Please PM using NaNo-mail
WARNING: graphic rape scene
Deadline of a month to exchange our critted novels.
If you would like to read a sample chapter, there's one posted on my NaNo page.

"Many people hear voices when no one is there. Some of them are called mad and are shut up in rooms where they stare at the walls all day. Others are called writers and they do pretty much the same thing."
- Margaret Chittenden

Mine is also not finished, but I could use the critique anyway if there is any interest.

TITLE: Empty Eyes

LENGTH: 65,450 (But I'm still writing on it every day so that number will change)

DRAFT: First draft

LANGUAGE: English

SUMMARY: They should never have let her out. Those were the words that Paul Morgan would never forget as he struggles to keep a hold on his wife Sara who is slowly losing touch with reality and a past that is shrouded in mystery. For both of them. When Sara goes into a near comatose state, lost in disjointed dreams of what she remembers of her past, Paul meets someone new. Will Sara come back home, and what will happen when she does?

SUBGENRE: Psychological Drama, Suspense

KNOWN ISSUES: I took out the most glaring plot hole (I changed plot ideas midway and there was a scene that stood out like a sore thumb when I changed that plot point), but there are still others I’m sure. Also, I have a feeling that there are a couple of scenes that are superfluous and don’t move the plot or the characters, though if you see a lot of that please mention it. I did a basic spell check on most of the draft, but there may still be errors like that (though I’m not concerned about those). Continuity may be an issue, also there are a few places where I put *insert research here* or other editorial notes.

CRITIQUE REQUESTED: I’m fully aware of most of the gaping plot holes but mainly I would like to know if the plot is interesting and moving in the right direction. Also, any ideas on where I could go with the end and maybe scenes that you would like to see happen etc. I suck at dialogue, so any critique’s on how to improve that would be appreciated.

CRITIQUE TOLERANCE: I’m fine with honesty, but remember as always that it is a first draft with ZERO editing. Try to balance out the things you liked and didn’t like because no one wants to hear only the bad things right?

EXPERIENCE & GOALS: I’ve been writing off and on since I was in middle school, and went to Columbia College in Chicago majoring in fiction writing so I am very familiar with critiques (even the really bad ones where you feel like you never want to write again they tore it up so badly!) I have sent short stories out in the past, but have never actually “finished” a novel. I would really like to try to get published in the future.

METHOD OF COMMUNICATION: email: nlbrown34@gmail.com or NanoMail

DISCLAIMERS: There is definitely adult language and content. There is violence but no sex. Overall, as long as you are over 18 and not easily offended, you should be fine with the content.

Thanks all!!
Nicole