Hi all,
Well it's almost that time of year again, time for you to start thinking about entries for the Worst Sex Scene Competition. Every year we have a contest to see who can write the most tasteless love scene imaginable. They're often sick and usually very funny, and extra merit is awarded if you manage to put everyone off a particular foodstuff or item for life. :-)
A prize will be awarded at the TGIO (assuming the winner is able to come along) and you will have the infamy associated with being champion for an entire year.
If you want to see the winning entry from last year, you can find it here: http://loriba-nano.livejournal.com/
along with several other entries from the past couple of years.
Needless to say, this competition is strictly Over-18s only! If you're under 18 and know your parents will not approve, DO NOT click on the above link.
Looking forward to seeing your entries already. :-)
----------
Lottie
I'll sleep when I'm dead.
18,383 / 50,000
Oct 27, 2009 - 05 14
Gonna need a new battery in the prize. Oooh, that sounded much worse than it actually is!
----------2005: The Last Wish of Owen Flint
2006: Insomnia and Other Ways to Die
2007: The Ipswich File
2008: Rain is Expected Tonight in London
2009: Hate to Say I Told You So
91,395 / 50,000
Nov 11, 2009 - 06 21
I have finally got something to work with, so I'll be posting a link - most likely, by the end of the week. What about the rest of you?! :)
----------I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
Frank Lloyd Wright
Banish the Guilt Monkeys
44,014 / 50,000
Nov 12, 2009 - 01 13
Heh I can't get my characters into bed - she's too independent and capable to give him any help and he keeps making a twit of himself. But they've got to get there, cos they end up married.
91,395 / 50,000
Nov 12, 2009 - 04 21
sounds like the perfect recipe for a WSS!
----------I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
Frank Lloyd Wright
Banish the Guilt Monkeys
91,395 / 50,000
Nov 14, 2009 - 08 17
Weell, Someone always has to go first, as they say. And since I am an avocado green on that progress bar, I thought it was time to polish up a little something. If you are under age, Please DO NOT click the link. I don't want to be responsible for your nightmares!
----------The rest of you over the age of thirty, click if you are not eating just now... just here think you can do better? Show us yours, then. Go on go on :)
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
Frank Lloyd Wright
Banish the Guilt Monkeys
81,965 / 50,000
Nov 15, 2009 - 00 41
OMG. That is truly, truly awful! I'm so glad that I hate avacadoes.
Well done. :-)
----------Lottie
I'll sleep when I'm dead.
47,205 / 50,000
Nov 15, 2009 - 09 08
to Louisa May - I got to this bit ‘this is the longest and thickest garden broom I have ever encountered.’ and couldn't continue for laughing!
Cheers, you've made my evening XD
*and on the plus side my fail of a sex scene doesn't seem quite so bad now*
91,395 / 50,000
Nov 15, 2009 - 14 45
[quote=
*and on the plus side my fail of a sex scene doesn't seem quite so bad now*
'No sex scene ever written is a fail. The fact that it exists is enough.'
:) glad you liked it. he he.
EDIT Once you get going it can up your word count quite a bit if you do write an entry, even if it doesn't quite work out, you can always wait a bit and try again later...
*note to self, Check words like 'count' v carefully before posting.*
----------I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
Frank Lloyd Wright
Banish the Guilt Monkeys
81,965 / 50,000
Nov 21, 2009 - 01 33
If anyone needs any extra inspiration:-
http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2009/nov/19/bad-sex-factor-prize-shortli...
Usual Over-18s warnings apply.
----------Lottie
I'll sleep when I'm dead.
44,014 / 50,000
Nov 22, 2009 - 09 04
I've got something I can ahem enter. Hero turned out to be rather reluctantly bisexual so this is a not very fulfilling male/male scene. But I haven't got anywhere I can stick it up (herr herr nudge nudge) so should I send it as an email to someone?
41,336 / 50,000
Nov 23, 2009 - 07 48
Well, Friday's write-in has a lot to answer for. This is my entry for the Worst Sex Scene competition, anyway. It's on my website (and in text format). But, definitely for the over-18s only owing to naughtiness content.
81,965 / 50,000
Nov 22, 2009 - 14 49
Woot!!
If it's not too long, send it to me as a PM (copy and paste it) and I'll put it up on my LJ account. If it's so long that the PM system won't accept it, let me know and I'll send you my e-mail address.
----------Lottie
I'll sleep when I'm dead.
44,014 / 50,000
Nov 23, 2009 - 06 05
It had better be email I have sent you a PM. I will tidy it up tonight - in terms of grammar, a bit of punctuation and a few speech marks.
41,125 / 50,000
Nov 23, 2009 - 16 12
Re Solidus's worst sex entry:
I am speechless.
;-)
81,965 / 50,000
Nov 25, 2009 - 01 38
Lucretia's scene has been posted and can be found here: http://loriba-nano.livejournal.com/2301.html
Usual warnings apply.
----------Lottie
I'll sleep when I'm dead.