What's so bad about passive voice?

blue_da_da_dee
What's so bad about passive voice?

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Posted on:
Nov 1, 2009 - 05 49

I personally think many thing that I try to say sound best in passive voice, and using passive voice also helps boost my word count. Why does it matter if I use passive voice? I don't see anything grammatically wrong with it. Help?!?!?!
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lasalle202Glowing Halo

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Posted on:
Nov 1, 2009 - 06 11

It is not grammatically wrong.

The passive voice is, as the name implies, passive. It puts your characters in the place of not doing, but being done to. In rare occasions that is entirely appropriate but mostly readers like the characters to DO and not just be knocked around by whatever comes along.

But certainly NOW is not the time to worry about passive voice. Just get the words on paper, then if/when you decide to edit (please wait till January and not start Dec. 1 - give yourself a break from this piece!) you can look at whether you like "Johnny was hit by the bat" or "Swinging from nowhere, the bat cracked Johnny over the head." <-actually more words

If you practice between December and next Nano, you will be in a better habit of not writing in the passive voice.

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blue_da_da_dee

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Posted on:
Nov 1, 2009 - 06 10

Thanks. In most cases in which I have used it, it makes sense for the emphasis to be put on the "being done to."

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keolah

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Nov 1, 2009 - 06 51

Yes, despite all the hate on passive voice being "always wrong!" or some such, there are many cases where it's actually correct and coming across better to use it. You don't need to say "The jury found the defendant guilty", for instance, "The defendant was found guilty" works just as well. It's just a matter of how you choose to word it and what to emphasize, and in some cases, passive voice is correct to use because of what you're trying to emphasize in the sentence.

Looking back at the last few lines I've written, I see I've used passive voice myself... "We were three years old when we were taken to a different place. We went on a spaceship, and I didn't understand that we were going to another planet. We all filed into the shuttle, like miniature soldiers in uniform all in a row, and up we went." (A bit Ender's-Game-ish perhaps, I know, but I don't care :P) I don't see how, or why, I would reword this -- at the age of three, especially with a lack of real parental contact, these adults seem huge and mysterious, more a force of nature than actual people. And I'd think it would sound terrible if I said something clunky like "We were three years old when the scientists took us to a different place." It just... doesn't sound right with the voice I'm trying to convey at all.

blue_da_da_dee

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Posted on:
Nov 1, 2009 - 07 35

keolah wrote:
Yes, despite all the hate on passive voice being "always wrong!" or some such, there are many cases where it's actually correct and coming across better to use it. You don't need to say "The jury found the defendant guilty", for instance, "The defendant was found guilty" works just as well. It's just a matter of how you choose to word it and what to emphasize, and in some cases, passive voice is correct to use because of what you're trying to emphasize in the sentence.

Looking back at the last few lines I've written, I see I've used passive voice myself... "We were three years old when we were taken to a different place. We went on a spaceship, and I didn't understand that we were going to another planet. We all filed into the shuttle, like miniature soldiers in uniform all in a row, and up we went." (A bit Ender's-Game-ish perhaps, I know, but I don't care :P) I don't see how, or why, I would reword this -- at the age of three, especially with a lack of real parental contact, these adults seem huge and mysterious, more a force of nature than actual people. And I'd think it would sound terrible if I said something clunky like "We were three years old when the scientists took us to a different place." It just... doesn't sound right with the voice I'm trying to convey at all.


Thanks. I was kind of worried that I was doing everything wrong lol. But I agree, sometimes it just sounds more normal than anything else. On other sites, the examples that they use against passive voice are usually things such as writing speeches. Novel=/=speech. But I'm glad that people aren't all AMG PASSIVE VOICE IS A NO-NO. Honestly, it's much easier to say "...yet another page on my calendar was ripped off..." than anything else.

On another note, does anyone know how to stop Word from correcting me on passive voice? I have the Mac version from 2008, version 12.0.0, if that helps.

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lasalle202Glowing Halo

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Posted on:
Nov 1, 2009 - 07 44

blue_da_da_dee wrote:
Honestly, it's much easier to say "...yet another page on my calendar was ripped off..." than anything else.

It is all about context. Your character /thinking/ in passive voice is very different than presenting the action of the story in passive voice.

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Dicentra_Spectabilis

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Posted on:
Nov 1, 2009 - 13 16

The main reason, as far as I know that people dislike passive voice is
1. It's annoying to write.
and
2. It CAN be annoying to read, if not written well.

It's perfectly correct, grammatically, it's just HARD.

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waxbanks

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Posted on:
Nov 1, 2009 - 17 19

blue_da_da_dee wrote:
I personally think many thing that I try to say sound best in passive voice, and using passive voice also helps boost my word count. Why does it matter if I use passive voice? I don't see anything grammatically wrong with it. Help?!?!?!

Forget about your word count, forget about standard grammar. The question here is: What's the clearest way to express a thought?

Fact is, we read passive and active constructions differently. 'Active voice' gets right to the action, attributes it definitively. 'The frog plucked the banjo.' Done. 'Passive voice' takes a roundabout route, shifts emphases from the subject (actor) to the object (acted-upon): 'The banjo was plucked by the frog.'

More importantly, 'active' verbs are generally a hell of a lot more vivid than conjugations of 'to be.' Active verbs are important. Dig: 'We were in the hills for a day' vs 'We spent a day in the hills.' Subtle difference, but the latter strikes the image and moves on. The first sentence lands more 'softly,' y'know?

Sometimes you want this mix of voices and registers. 'Night gave way to morning, and another day had finished.' That sort of thing. If you're Joseph Conrad doing Lord Jim, you throw in the passive voice as a way of rendering Jim's avoidance of responsibility. Specific effect in a mind, specific technique, that's fine.

'I was hit by Steve.' 'Steve hit me.' Which sentence hits harder?

'We traipsed across the beach, laughing at death and one another.' 'We were traipsing across the beach...' The latter sets up anticipation for something else. Do you play music? You're playing a song in C major, passive voice is like the G7 chord. It sounds...incomplete. Suggestive, provisional. Active construction brings your point home. On the other hand, your point is not brought home by passive construction (and maybe that's the effect you want).

Make sense?

wondererGlowing Halo

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Posted on:
Nov 2, 2009 - 14 28

To stop Word from correcting you, go to Tools > Options > Grammar & Spelling and uncheck "Check grammar as you type." I also have "Check grammar with spellcheck" unchecked because I find the grammar checker not very helpful. (This is on a Windows platform, but yours should be similar enough to get the idea.)

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jlb1992

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Posted on:
Nov 2, 2009 - 18 11

In my opinion, nothing. There are times when passive voice is appropriate.
Just remember, all things in moderation.

StephenGreenslade

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Posted on:
Nov 2, 2009 - 20 24

Passive voice makes the sentence harder to comprehend. Active voice usually sounds better, as the verbs are stronger, more vivid. However, you're right, using passive voice will increase your total word count, but this is mainly the influx of prepositions...not the most interesting things...If you're concerned more about word count then readability, then it's fine to use passive voice.

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cu_george

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Posted on:
Nov 3, 2009 - 04 01

A-ha, passive voice.... I wondered what I was doing that was making everything sound so flat and slow paced!!

It's been years since I was at school and I haven't written anything but academic essays for years now so all these terms and conventions feel like new to me!

jim_24601

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Posted on:
Nov 3, 2009 - 05 08

waxbanks wrote:
'We were in the hills for a day' vs 'We spent a day in the hills.'

Neither of these is in passive voice.

waxbanks wrote:
'We traipsed across the beach, laughing at death and one another.' 'We were traipsing across the beach...'

Neither of these is in passive voice.

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cu_george

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Posted on:
Nov 3, 2009 - 05 12

OK so now I'm a little confused... can anyone define 'passive voice' for me in simple terms?

wondererGlowing Halo

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Posted on:
Nov 3, 2009 - 07 58

jim_24601 wrote:
waxbanks wrote:
'We were in the hills for a day' vs 'We spent a day in the hills.'

Neither of these is in passive voice.

waxbanks wrote:
'We traipsed across the beach, laughing at death and one another.' 'We were traipsing across the beach...'

Neither of these is in passive voice.

To clarify: These examples are in what is known as the present progressive tense (I think?). It's stronger writing to cut out the verb "to be" and just use your main verb, as in the examples above. But that's an entirely different grammatical problem than passive voice.

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wondererGlowing Halo

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Nov 3, 2009 - 08 02

cu_george wrote:
OK so now I'm a little confused... can anyone define 'passive voice' for me in simple terms?

In passive voice, the subject of the sentence is being acted on rather than acting.

Active: Bob gave John the phone.

Passive: The phone was given to John by Bob. OR The phone was given to John. (Notice how you don't have to say who was doing the giving. This can be good if you're writing for a corporation - "Mistakes were made" - but bad if you're writing fiction.)

Does that help at all? :-/

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blue_da_da_dee

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Posted on:
Nov 3, 2009 - 08 13

I'm trying to boot the passive voice habit. Sometimes, I think, I need to use it. Example: "I was led not to a lower floor or basement, but to a boiler room."

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Banespawn

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Posted on:
Nov 3, 2009 - 13 19

blue_da_da_dee wrote:
I'm trying to boot the passive voice habit. Sometimes, I think, I need to use it. Example: "I was led not to a lower floor or basement, but to a boiler room."

There's nothing wrong with that. I would use that if the person leading the POV character is not someone of significance. For example, if it was just some errand boy sent to guide him somewhere, there's no need to say: "The boy led me..."

However, if a significant character was leading him, I'd be more inclined to mention it. "My brother led me..."

MacAGlowing Halo

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Posted on:
Nov 5, 2009 - 07 59

wonderer wrote:
In passive voice, the subject of the sentence is being acted on rather than acting.

Active: Bob gave John the phone.

Passive: The phone was given to John by Bob. OR The phone was given to John. (Notice how you don't have to say who was doing the giving. This can be good if you're writing for a corporation - "Mistakes were made" - but bad if you're writing fiction.)

Does that help at all? :-/

The passive voice can be good in fiction when the one acted upon is more important than the actor. This can be the case if the actor is unknown or has been recently mentioned. That said, I would probably use it more in dialog than in my narrative descriptions of action.

Example:

Passive in dialog - "Prime Minister Veidt was shot today by an unknown assailant."
Active in narrative - Veidt clutched his arm as a shot rang out through the plaza.

EDIT: I just noticed I originally wrote "less important than" instead of "more important than." Boy was that a goof.

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wondererGlowing Halo

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Posted on:
Nov 4, 2009 - 15 35

Good points above. I should have said "Passive voice is *usually* bad in fiction."

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lasalle202Glowing Halo

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Nov 4, 2009 - 17 11

Actually, that would be the way to write it if your POV character was a prisoner at this point and you wanted the reader to feel that the MC was " powerless". Most other situations a different phrasing would be "more pleasing to most readers".

* John led the way as we entered not a basement but a boiler room.

* I followed the mysterious form as we entered not a basement but a boiler room.

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cloisterGlowing Halo

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Posted on:
Nov 4, 2009 - 20 03

There's nothing GRAMMATICALLY wrong with passive voice. And it's great if you're writing an academic paper. Personally, I hope I die before I ever read a 50,000 word academic paper. :)

The real problem is that passive voice hides your characters. It hides them from the reader, and worse, it hides them from YOU. There's an awesome article about that here:

http://bit.ly/3iOFTj

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keolah

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Posted on:
Nov 5, 2009 - 13 49

Sometimes, however, that's the effect you _intend_. It's not bad to "hide" a character if that character is unimportant anyway, and you're trying to put emphasis on what was done rather than who was doing it.

ej runyon

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Posted on:
Nov 6, 2009 - 00 15

Wow, good article - thanks for the link.
For newbies, this might open some eyes, as the Before and After examples show and
don't just tell what the difference in passive/active voice can look like.

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