i believe that i have a problem in which i tend to tell a story and not show a story. does anyone have any good tips for me?
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It's a cold dark night, Hallows' Eve upon the crest
In a parking lot of vampires in suits to look their best
And the music and coffins made of gold
With friends and lovers freshly buried- I AM GHOST
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Nov 4, 2009 - 01 04
One problem I had with that, was that I always "said too much" as my fiction teacher would say. I did things like "Jared barreled into the room, angry that such and such had happened." Well, clearly, if Jared is barreling into rooms, he must be mad about something. Instead of having your narrator say that whatever is making him upset, let Jared say it himself, like 'Jared barreled into the room, screaming, "Who the ---- left the stove on!?" or whatever. I try to leave actions for the narrator, and emotions for the dialogue.
I hope that helps! It's really a case-by-case thing, so if you want me to look over what you've got (or any writing samples you may have) I'd gladly do so!
Good luck!~
----------"This new Tanja was, for lack of a better word, a slut."~ Taylor, Complexities (NaNo 2009)
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Nov 4, 2009 - 01 27
thanks. that actually helped a lot i really appreciate it
----------It's a cold dark night, Hallows' Eve upon the crest
In a parking lot of vampires in suits to look their best
And the music and coffins made of gold
With friends and lovers freshly buried- I AM GHOST
27,046 / 50,000
Nov 4, 2009 - 01 33
I could probly work on this myself. People say I'm a pretty good writer, tho, so I'm going to save the editing for December, the editing month.
----------Click Me!
42,165 / 50,000
Nov 4, 2009 - 07 46
Moved from Character & Plot Realism.
-----------Janna
Moderator, Character & Plot Realism Q&A
ML, Saskatoon
Canadian Overlord
The Book of Tim
44,146 / 50,000
Nov 7, 2009 - 08 04
I've been having luck with "building scene by scene". Visualize the scene you are about to write, like a mini movie in your head then write what you see. As a rule of thumb, the scene should be 600 to 800 words long and structured like a paragraph. It has really bulked up my word count, lots of prepositional phrases; '....the rock next to the last wagon in the caravan....'.
35,000 / 50,000
Nov 16, 2009 - 01 59
I struggle with the same problem but looking to re-write my novel during next year. I found the following tip on a novel-writing website about a year ago.....
'Show, don't tell' is an admonition to fiction writers to write in a manner that allows the reader to experience the story through a character's action, words, thoughts, senses, and feelings rather than through the narrator's exposition, summarization, and description.
Instead of telling:
Mrs. Parker was nosy. She gossiped about her neighbors.
the writer could show:
By turning the blinds ever so slightly, Mrs. Parker could just peek through the window and see the Ford Explorer parked in the driveway. She squinted to get a better view of the tall, muscular man getting out of the vehicle and walking up to Mrs. Jones' front door. He rang the doorbell. When Mrs. Jones opened the door and welcomed the stranger into her home with a hug, Mrs. Parker gasped and ran to her phone.
"Charlotte, you are not going to believe what I just saw!" Mrs. Parker peeked out the window again to see if the man was still inside.
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Nov 16, 2009 - 03 07
One quick thing that can help with show don't tell ideas is to cast the major characters. Decide which actors and actresses would be best to play those parts when that big movie contract comes through. Then when something is happening in your story, and you're thinking about how the characters would react so you can show it, you've got something concrete to hang those thoughts on. Thinking how Julia Roberts or Sean Connery or Jackie Chan or whoever would respond to a given situation may be much easier than just thinking how a generic person might respond. It has helped me sometimes to do this. I've gotten some good physical gestures and mannerisms and stuff this way.
Hope that helps. Good luck and write on.
Best,
----------SharonID
Take a write on the wild side -- http://write-em-cowgirls.com/
Visit the International Women's Writing Guild — http://iwwg.org/
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Nov 17, 2009 - 06 22
I have the same problem! I 'tell' constantly and my story reads almost like a big description or stage directions.... with awful dialogue in the middle where characters go off on one about mundane things.... I'm trying not to worry about it too much at the moment and to just keep on writing. Can always edit in December to make it shiny....
I'm actually beginning to really look forward to the editing stage.... I think that's when I'll start really learning about how to write well... I have no faith in my own ability to write, so right now I'm just happy I've got over 10,000 words down on paper to be honest! It may be crap, but it's probably the biggest piece of creative writing I've ever done in my life.