What particular form of madness ...

Jeg har et brændende ønske om at skrive, og det har udviklet sig til en besættelse! Jeg har nogle gange undret, hvis det er en skjult(?) form af OCD (Obsessiv Kompulsiv Sygdom(?)). Dagligdagen, jeg føler, jeg må skrive noget og Nanowrimo kraftigt hjælper mig med at opfylde behovet for en gang om året. LOL.

I have a burning desire to write and it has turned into an obsession! I have sometimes wondered if it is a latent form of OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). Everyday, I feel I must write something and NaNoWriMo strongly helps me meet the need once a year. LOL

ELSKEDE
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ML for Denmark
Lover of good wine, chocolate truffles and NaNoWriMo

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ML for Denmark
Lover of good wine, chocolate truffles and NaNoWriMo

Same thing as when I signed up for running across the two bridges. One can always talk about "Oh it would be cool to do xxx", but until you sign up that's all you're committed to do - dream. Once you've signed up, you need to start training, doing and finishing. So I do this because now I have a goal and no way to wiggle out of it, since I can't very well ask them to have NaNoWriMo at a time that is more convenient for me :-)

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Jeg gør det af samme grund som da jeg meldte mig til de to broløb. Det er let nok at sige "Det kunne være sejt at xxx", men så længe man ikke melder sig til, så er man ikke forpligtet til mere end at drømme om at gøre det. Når man er meldt til er man nødt til at træne, udføre og afslutte. Så det er grunden til at jeg gør det, jeg har et konkret mål at gå efter og ingen måde at snige mig udenom - jeg får dem nok ikke til at flytte NaNoWriMo til et bedre tidspunkt :-)

I'm doing this to see if I can manage to focus my thoughts and self long enough to string those 50K words together. I had tried a few years ago a December writing challenge with some friends - can't remember how many words I got (but it is not abandoned maybe come December and NaNo withdrawal?) but I think I wrote for about a week. This January I finally got the answer as to why I feel like I imagine one would feel after suffering brain damage. Turns out I have periodic depression and simple schizophrenia. The psychiatrist was fairly certain I'd never be deal with having a job. OK - not a pleasant bit of news but I was able to stop kicking myself for not being able to use my brains better. (On the really really really REALLY good days - very few and far between - I think I'm up at 95% of previous abilities)

I have always wanted to write stories, have tried several times and got stuck. Being granted a pension from 1st September I have utter freedom with my time - and I decided in August to give this a go. See if I can switch of that stupid voice inside my head telling me that it could be written better, that idea stinks etc etc. And also see if I can manage to keep me focus long enough. I have the full support of my parents and the folks in the "social psychiatry" - all think it's cool I'm attempting this.

Jeg gør dette for at se om jeg kan lykkes at fokusere mine tanker og mig selv tilstrækkeligt længe til at formå at skrive 50K i sammenhæng. Jeg har tidligere forsøgt mig med en december skrive udfordring med nogle venner. Jeg husker ikke hvor mange ord jeg fik skrevet (den er ikke kasseret endnu - måske når december og NaNo abstinencer viser sig) men jeg tror jeg skrev i en uge. I januar fik jeg endelig svaret på hvorfor jeg føler mig som jeg forestiller mig en hjerneskadet føler sig. Det viser sig jeg lider af periodisk depression og simpel skizofreni. Psykiateren var overbevist om at jeg aldrig vil magte et arbejde. Tja, ikke de bedste nyheder men nu kan jeg da holde op med at slå mig selv oven i hovedet over ikke at kunne ruge hovedet bedre. (På de rigtig rigtig rigtig RIGTIG gode dage tror jeg jeg er på 95% af tidligere evner - men de dage går der laaaang tid mellem.)

Jeg har altid gerne villet skrive historier. Har prøvet flere gange og gået i stå. Jeg har nu total frihed med min tid siden jeg blev bevilliget førtidspension fra september og besluttede i august at jeg ville gøre et forsøg. Se om jeg kan slå den indvendige stemme fra; den der siger at det der kan siges bedre, det var dog en idiotisk ide osv. osv. Og så se om jeg kan holde fokus i lang nok tid. Mine forældre og folkene i social psykiatrien bakker helt op om mig - de synes alle de er sejt at jeg prøver.

Ack! *spies wall of text* Yrk! *ser tekstmuren*

The thick plottens.

I do it for the rush. xD I don't usually take big challenges on, but this is right up my alley. Besides, it's a great way to bond with the wifey. Even if she is utterly insane and a Nano-Superwoman determined to beat at least one personal record every year! But it's good for me to sit here staring at her in awe as she writes, it gets me writing too, and I do better for it. Man, I should start a business! If you're lacking inspiration and your word count is flagging, 100kr gets you two hours of watching the master at work. Muahahah, I shall be RICH. >=3

I suppose I shold answer my own question as well. Like others on the forum I have written many times before but for the longest time had trouble with the long format of the novel. Tried my hand at short stories instead, and some of them actually work ... to a certain extent. Became drawn to novels gradually because I read so many of them, and when I read about NaNo in the paper i decided to join up. Finished just in the nick of time after lagging for most of the month and was intolerable for a week - two days riding my high and then totally slumped. But I returned the year after, finished and am at it again. The rush has dwindled for me, but naNo has given me tricks for writing in general, and I´m beginning to recognize a certain style in my writing. Found a voice, so to speak. And besides - I always hated November and only avoid a month-long slump if I do NaNo.

got November blues - keep tappin´ away