Random lines from your novel

My character Lukaz has some pretty stupid/sobering trains of thought sometimes. Not exactly out of place, but it proves what retards some of my characters can be.

"Pleanty more fucked up things have happened than a city suddenly disappearing off the map just to reappear with the entire population dead. By suicide.

I can't... specifically think of anything right now, but I'm sure there has to be."

Skylines - A tale of chaos, human suffering and the primordial degeneration of the universe.

This one actually appeared after my flatmate attacked my lap top to try and 'help' me:

]You need not alcoholism, he thought with an ironic smile as he headed for the door.'

It just about fits, even if it makes very little sense, so I thought I might as well leave it in. Not sure if counting towards my wordcount is cheating though ;)

Don't know if this counts, but it was part of a dare from another forum. OLDIES like me.

Clarence had to be named, the rabbit had to be present withou being noted by characters, feather in hat and Clarence had to rhyme his words. Oh no mention was to be made that he only had one leg:

Monica was standing at the top of the steps as Mr Armstrong hopped down them with effortless ease, as he did so the dead rabbit he was carrying by the ears flailed by his side. Which seemed to be somewhat wrong as Mr Armstrong only wore the very best tailored suits from Italy. Never fashionable suits, always traditional cuts which he brought back after visiting his vine yard there.

The moment Monica clapped eyes on Schilling she rushed down the steps to be at Mr Armstrong’s side. This was a blatant act making it quite obvious that Schilling was both unexpected and unwelcome. Of course this just added to the glee Schilling was experiencing catching Monica up to no good. Especially when it involved the estate’s expensive lawyer making a home visit.

“You know who this is Clarence?” Asked Monica awkwardly as Schilling finally joined them at the foot of the steps.

“I believe this to be Peter Schilling, who is proving to be most willing.” Answer Mr Armstrong and immediate doffed his hat which was emblazed with three huge turkey feathers
.
“It’s been a long time Mr Armstrong, Clarence. Thank you.” Said Schilling bowing slightly with respect as he spoke. This was the man who could have stripped Schilling of everything he owned or would ever own during his divorce from Emily, but no doubt under the instruction of Monica didn’t. The main reason he was able to start rebuilding his life. “Might I say that you are looking well.”

“Appearances can be most deceptive. Like mistakes in the past are repetitive.” Before making any attempt to reason this reply Clarence continued hopping away from the front of the big house, rabbit swinging by his side
.
“Still refuses to drive anywhere under two miles?” Asked Schilling as he was escorted into the house by Monica.

“The day he has to will be a bad one for us all.”

“His bill will go up?”

Please visit website to see pre Nano story, daily updates as the nano happens and there's a blog.

www.seafieldbooks.com

It's not about me it's about the books.

She sat down on the low wall outside her house and looked up into the sky. She squinted at the patch of black that just escaped the sky shine of the city lights and picked out the tiny pin-pricks of light just managing to make themselves visible through the glare and the darkness. ‘Like they really want it’ thought Abby.

“It was self defence” he said, in a whiney, self-pitying tone “Bam, sorry, Wayne, he was mad and started on this kid, and then his mates came for me and I just had to get out of the way. I threw one punch.” He slouched back down in the chair. All the petty thugs, the wife beaters, the football hooligans, the pub brawlers that she had had in the interview rooms down the years, they all sounded the same to her. Every last one of them had their excuses and they all boiled down to whining “It’s no fair!”

“And you were carrying cocaine in self defence too were you?” she responded.

“Aw come on, it was only enough for a couple of lines. And it was for Bam’s birthday…”

“I’m not sure that the birthday defence is one that the courts would recognise. "

“They won’t understand anything I say to them, will they?” Eshmun asked.
“I don’t think so,” Dido replied.
“Hi guys,” Eshmun said to the Mayans, “I’m your sacred serpent god. Having heard you over the translator, I feel I should warn you: don’t sexually intercourse with me. Ever. I’m serious, just don’t do it.”
The Mayans stared back at him in sullen incomprehension.

I am also known as 'Twisted Sister'. If you're lucky, you'll find out why. If you're unlucky, you'll find out why.

'There on the opposite bank were some big black and white furry things that looked a lot like – of course, this was their native habitat – she had never seen one before in real life so of course it seemed dream-like – she blinked to clear the water from her eyes, and they became even more like themselves... and one stray wave carried her out of the mainstream of the river and washed her up on a kind of beach. As she stood up, more black and white shapes moved into her vision, but much, much closer – too close for comfort, if anything.'

Sheila

2009: was 'Watching the Neighbourhood' - now 'Reunited!'
2008: (Winner!) A Place of Conflict
2007: (Winner!) Community
2006: (Winner!): Independence

Winston didn't like the look of the first man, he struck him as the type of man to look out for no one but his own. The type of man who didn't watch where he put his foot and flaunted his lavish lifestyle without a seconds thought for the poor and the working class. Winston wondered why he had chosen the Odeon to spend his afternoon, instead of swanning about on his yaught and drinking champagne. Hamilton wondered why the theatre smelt of pickles.

2009: "The Gentlemen Thieves"

This just cracked me up after I wrote it

"He saw the reflection, but it was not his own. That was, it wasn't him, nor his other self which he was holding onto."

I think the only thing more confusing that that is purple :)

James
The conquerer of the 3 Peaks
10 hours, 12 minutes

I just wrote this, and out of context it made me laugh:

"The need to put his arm around Chris was growing, but with his father there he was almost thankful that they had to hold their bricks together."

Even better that the bricks are what may save their life... only to slowly kill them in the process.

Just wrote this ^ ^

There was something about the cab drivers rugged beard that reminded her of the circus, if it was another character she knew that she was well hidden under coats of expensive makeup and designer clothes.
Hatsue had drowned Alexis with gifts when the engagement had been announced and Alexis could not be happier.

I'm crap at naming things, so that's an example of stuff I end up with...

He slowed down when he neared the bridge across the Blubblub (find name), taking a survey of the scene across.

My current favourite: "Sig’s face melted into sunshine. “

Also, my opening paragraph:

Staring into my empty bottle, I pondered as to whether you could make alcohol out of pineapples. I’m not talking about a fruit wine or something silly like that; I’m talking about a proper hard liquor. I’m not a homeless drunk, though. Homeless, yes, which is why I was curled up in a park corner in a huge brown coat, but drunk, no. The bottle was sparkling water, which I’d conned from a waiter in one of the local hotels. And there’s worse places to be homeless than Hawai’i.

Elysse in Edinburgh
ML for Edinburgh, Scotland
Eight-Year Veteran
"Adorable and Terrifying"

“So I ran away to join in. And the librarians dragged me back by the ear. Next time, I found a pair of trousers first.”

Ah yes trouserless students - the bain of all library staff, how many times have I had to grab a student and inform them sternly of our no breeches no books policy

"You'll catch flies," he said.
Then she punched him in the stomach.

"The train is now approaching Haymarket station. Before disembarking, please ensure you have picked up all belongings, luggage and small children."

"The train now approaching platform 4 is for Glasgow Central. That's Glasgow Central, not Glasgow Queen Street. Anybody not wishing to go on a scenic tour of every backwater town in West Lothian and North Lanarkshire should wait for the latter option, which should be along shortly and does not take forever and a day to complete its journey."

"Do you think there's anything weird about silently claiming a minor victory over your ex-girlfriend every time you jerk off to a porn star who bares a passing resemblance to her?"

Pyd~ actually, that one was referring to cross-dressing. but 's fun out-of-context ^.^'

I'm quite fond of my MMC's brother, Riley:

"Have you ever been stapled in the eye?" When Will folded his arms across his chest and refused to say anything, Riley aimed the stapler lower. "Have you ever been stapled in the crotch?" He made a face. "Let me tell you, it hurts like a bitch, so I'd advise you to talk."

Their whole exchange from last night is actually a typical siblings discussion, full of love and concern mostly disguised with heavy sarcasm and jokes at the other's expense.

2008 - The Twelve Days of Christmas - 50K!
2009 - Strong Willed - in progress

And again, more out of context hilarity, this time from this afternoon's write-in:

“Of course I’m coming. It’s not like I had much of a chance to look around last time I was down there.”

because elysse has a filthy, filthy mind.

"Then a gnome made of pink marshmallow waddled in and starting dancing around Chris and Robert as they lay on the floor knotted together by their limbs."

"Although Robert had eaten half of his body the bacon still gave him a hug to comfort him."

I wish I could say this actually happened... but they were my characters dreams.

Wrote this a few days ago. My character comes across a random pile of books in her new flat. For the sake of the wordcount, I decided to name some of them:

'Cathy ran her finger down the piles, reading titles. The Mystery of Aaron McGill. Lizards of the Northern Hemisphere. The Doctor Sits Still. Tales of the Maw. The Phrases of the Moon; Poetry from our Great Neighbour, with English translation and footnotes. Haberdashery for the Uninitiated. Gilbert Bronx and his Incredible Bouncing Foot. Pink Fish Husbandry for the Unwary Beginner...'

then half a page later:

'A couple of seagulls perched on the roof opposite for most of the night, occasionally taking wing and flying a circuit round the neighbouring buildings, rasping wheezing cries into the night. Cathy didn’t hear them, but they may have been part of the reason that she dreamt about screeching, bouncing, pink fish being chased by the moon.'

I had fun.

"When you talk about having someone's eyes in your cleavage, it's usually a figure of speech."

Another one, this time from my not-entirely-there MC Sig to my narrator:

“She was in the past, sir. Our past, sir. To her it was the present, though it is of course long farther past now to her than it is to me.”
I tried to wrap my head around this and failed miserably. In the end, I was only able to respond with, “This is a faery thing, isn’t it?”
“I think it is, sir.”

Elysse in Edinburgh
ML for Edinburgh, Scotland
Eight-Year Veteran
"Adorable and Terrifying"