I have a confession. The novel I was working on finally petered out. I'm not saying the idea isn't worth pursuing at some point, but it just wasn't flowing. I struggled with it for the first few days, but my word count was falling behind so much I didn't feel like I could continue with that particular storyline. So I changed to a different idea and started my word count over.
I'm currently writing out stories that I made up for my daughter. It feels a little like cheating because they are stories that I have told over and over at bedtime or while driving her to school, so it seems like I am more in the process of getting them down on paper than actually "writing" per se. I am fleshing them out a lot more (probably much more than is even good for stories told to a six-year-old) and I am being forced to figure out previously unexplored aspects of the stories, the characters and the world they inhabit. But now, instead of an internal editor to shut up, I've got this internal NaNoWriMo judge telling me that I am cheating. I have always meant to write these stories down. But it does feel like I am just taking dictation on stories that have already been "written" in my own mind. Shut up, internal NaNo judge. Just...shut the hell up!
I'm telling you all this not so much because I'm looking for absolution or affirmation. I mean, I won't object if you have any comment or viewpoint to offer, of course, but I am okay with the direction I am taking this year. I think I've gotten to the point in my life where my goal for writing is no longer the juvenile fantasy of being a famous author, but more just to write anything (as opposed to my usual nothing but excuses) and share my stories however I can. That cavalier attitude goes for NaNo as well. However NaNo inspires me to write, I can consider it a "win" if I'm not giving up.
Anyway, I am telling you this simply in an effort to share my experience so far, and to open up any discussion for those who may be struggling with similar or other issues. The word-count displayed on my profile is correct. I managed to write enough in the last day and a half so that I'm only about a day behind. So it would seem that my decision was a good one. And perhaps I can use this opportunity to tie all these disjointed stories together somehow.
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