I was writing with Write or Die (http://writeordie.drwicked.com/), and I don't know how on earth this sentence came about through a discussion about cleanliness of dorm showers, but here it is:
"Yeah, the shower stall sparkled like a vampire from a Stephenie Meyers book," Sarah said.
I stopped for a few seconds, until Write or Die started yelling at me to write some more, and then I burst out laughing as I went on. Has anyone else had any sentences that just came out during the writing process, and made you giggle? :D
----------
2009 will be the year I finish- I can feel it.
11,111 / 50,000
Nov 4, 2009 - 18 04
"A huge oversized talking hammer did not like my non-talking hammer, and I tried to reason with it."
That made me laugh when that just showed up and my next ones made it even better!
I know this is for most ridiculous sentence but this paragraph is ridiculous.
"Yeah, reminds me of my favorite death. A huge oversized talking hammer did not like my non-talking hammer, and I tried to reason with it. But it did not like that either and killed me by smashing my head in. Have you ever tried to get up from having your head smashed in? It is no fun and it hurts for a bit." Says Ulric
----------2009:The Powerful Six and The Tower of Death Doom and Stuff (I have no idea the name to me just like story did)
11,768 / 50,000
Nov 4, 2009 - 20 53
I can see those twinkling vampires now!
As for my sentence:
which comes from this paragraph:
Sometimes Velainie tried to repeat some gestures she had seen her mother preform, like the short upthrust of the hand which indicated her frustration and/or desire to stab the air in lieu of the object of her frustration. Velainie understood it was not a possibility to stab a deadline or a meeting, but the possibility or impossibility never had an effect on her mother's feelings. Velainie finished reading the M section three months ago, and had been disappointed with it. She left the library at the appointed time, got in her mother's car waiting in the parking lot, and then stabbed the air with her hands to convey her frustration with the M section, and the letter M itself. Her mother used her usual expression for these displays of communication, one that indicated both annoyance and a lack of understanding, and drove off without a word. Clearly Velainie had to refine her gesture, and thus practiced the hand-stabbing motion every morning for five minutes, sometimes while holding a bar of soap in the other hand and pretending it was a cell phone.
----------Yes, mastery of language is truly the greatest weapon!
13,093 / 50,000
Nov 4, 2009 - 21 18
In a conversation between my MC and her doctor...
“Come now, Leigh. No one is going to be lifeless and retarded.”
Novel Website/Blog: http://likeathief.weebly.com/
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/_nicki13
36,126 / 50,000
Nov 4, 2009 - 22 23
This is a conversation between two ex-lovers, Vegas and Will, leaving an airport.:
"Follow me.”
“With relish.”
“I am not a hot-dog.”
“How about with Ketchup?”
“Do I look like a hamburger?”
“More like a flank steak.”
“Keep it up and you're stuck in the pool house, ookami-chan.”
“Is that related to the dog house?”
Really, the conversation is rather out of character for both of them, but together they've always been playful like this...sort of. ^^;
----------Filling an empty life with a joy and hope something accomplished, just to hide from the inner nightmares.
13,341 / 50,000
Nov 4, 2009 - 23 39
When I write this line, all I could think about was CHEESE!!!!!!!
....just awful.
On the other hand, this one is also ridiculous but I have a special place for it in my heart:
40,361 / 50,000
Nov 5, 2009 - 01 14
A part of the end of my prologue. Kinda sad but kinda funny... Takes part after a werewolf and demon bite Ashleigh and Angeline
“Is it alright if I hang around a little bit? You don’t want those creatures coming back to molest you, do you?”
“Certainly not,” I replied.
“We do though,” Ashleigh muttered. That caused both Jennifer and the vampyre to snigger.
“Only you were just bitten by them, silly girls,” the vampyre said.
“There’s only one problem with this happening, guys,” Jennifer said, a little unhappily.
“Yeah? Like what?”
“Our friendship might have to cease to exist.”
Nano 08 - Forces Collide - 55K
Nano 09 - Kindred - 11K [so far]
Sanity - 50%
-A griffon in a vampyre school??? what the hell??-
40,342 / 50,000
Nov 5, 2009 - 01 59
It's a short collection of sentences, but by and large they're the most ridiculous thus far:
“My father informed me that our shore house has fallen into disrepair.”
“That sucks,” Hazel replied curtly. “What’s he gonna do about it? Blow it up?”
“No.”
“Light it on fire?”
“…not necessarily…”
The brunette groaned. “Well, what the fuck? Why are you calling me about your dang house if we’re not going to destroy it?”
:-] Eh, nothing too special. Taken out of context, it's kinda ridiculous, but it actually makes sense within the scene... XD
----------73,740 / 50,000
Nov 5, 2009 - 02 16
I love the vampire shower stall! Ingenious - its a keeper ;-)
My random sentence...
"He was trudging in the forest, hoping tree would fall on him, and crush him to death instantly (not slowly - wishing for an agonizingly slow death was even beyond him) when he was attacked by a hippocrocopig"
----------Main Character plot twists:
- fallen through thin ice
- attacked by a wolf
- best friend poisoned
- fallen in love, been betrayed by her
- rescued people from a fire and then had the burning building collapse on him
This guy has some bad luck!
26,378 / 50,000
Nov 5, 2009 - 03 21
Erik grunted. "Grenades didn't work."
Pretty much exactly as it seems. Except the werewolf is a nazi, too.
Yeah, I'm aiming for some pretty high brow literature, here.
----------26,187 / 50,000
Nov 5, 2009 - 05 44
"You look like an angel," Cannen said. "In pyjamas."
51,416 / 50,000
Nov 5, 2009 - 06 19
Wow. My novel is so serious that in its 38000 words (note: not my word count, I'm doing a revision) so far, I can only identify one vaguely ridiculous line.
And reading through the whole thing again, I just realised that I have no one-liners whatsoever.
What is wrong with me!?
28,892 / 50,000
Nov 5, 2009 - 07 13
So I just wrote this sentence, and it's not so much ridiculous as ridiculously long:
--Samantha--
NaNo '06: Murder at Nurd Towers (15k)
NaNo '07: On Any Given Thursday (17k)
NaNo '08: Ice Chamber (13k)
NaNo '09: Rising Sun Grammar (27.5k - so far)
50,028 / 50,000
Nov 5, 2009 - 08 30
"I'm a male ballerina living in Texas. Of course I have no friends."
It just strikes me asreally funny for some reason.
0 / 50,000
Nov 5, 2009 - 12 16
"My pulse quickened and I felt my novel begin to dissipate into the depths of nothingness because my author decided on a whim to have a gratuitous sex scene with my undead fiance before going to storm the Covenant manor with her and my nemesis."
I felt this was really rather brilliant myself. Silly. But brilliant.
----------2007: They Followed a Star (to Betelgeuse) Failed/Still Working
2008: The Revenge of Madam Garlic and the Ladies of Herb Lore Incorporated- failed
2009: The Secret of the Stillroom Book -gonna win!
A shot rang out! As shots are wont to do.
40,412 / 50,000
Nov 5, 2009 - 13 25
My MC's thoughts on having to call an old woman Granny Mina.
Something between my MC and her mother.
“Don’t be dramatic, if you die you wont wake up,” my mother says....
They aren't that out there but about some of the most ridiculous in what I've got at the moment.
31,747 / 50,000
Nov 5, 2009 - 16 07
Heh. Two separate stories, connected by one RIDICULOUS line.
Story One:
"No luck?" Nate asked. Tay huffed and threw herself into the booth.
"About as much luck as a hooker with leprosy."
And the reference in Story Two:
"You haven't heard the bit about the leprous hookers yet," Anna said with a wicked grin.
I don't even know where that CAME from...
----------14,540 / 50,000
Nov 6, 2009 - 03 45
Well I have one or two. Here they are in no particular order:
She found it rather peculiar, as people generally did not keep sun-warmed cola anywhere upon their themselves, and she certainly did not. Besides, she hated cola, she was more of a lemonade person.
Red could feel her mind and memories starting to slip away (thankfully starting with the ones she was not too fond of, including when she was in Grade Four and Jimmy Macinby pulled her skirt down in front of the whole class. It would not have been that bad, but it was on the day she had neglected to wear knickers.)
Arnett was, other than The Master, whose age really was not known, the eldest member of the council. She was also a notorious man eater. She had been through more men than most cared to remember and currently and secretly (at least she thought so anyway, it had become common knowledge amongst most of the council members) had ambitions towards The Master. She saw him as her ultimate goal, but so far, despite trying every trick in her book (small gifts, polite conversation, seduction, low cut blouses, rohypnol, chloroform) she had failed to get him to even the door of her bedroom, let alone naked and tied to her bedposts wearing a ball gag and a kimono.
----------"You take half an E and you wet your little knickers. I saw you naked, in a field, with a whistle and a sock. You thought you were in The Shining."
34,404 / 50,000
Nov 6, 2009 - 17 20
"The man in the overalls" here is Wario.
42,223 / 50,000
Nov 6, 2009 - 21 07
Both are said by my MC
"I talked to a rubber ducky for a while, until I realized it was plotting to kill me."
"Those unfortunate bastards got to find out what it was like to be eaten alive. I’ve been told it’s rather unpleasant. But that was by a strip of bacon that I talked to that one time."
----------2009 NaNoWriMo - AlbinoZombie (in progress)
Being an author is like being in charge of your own personal insane asylum. ~Graycie Harmon
42,897 / 50,000
Nov 6, 2009 - 21 28
Had she threatened to eat Henry? For the first time since Gretna, Humphrey was truly alarmed. Cannibalism was not acceptable in one’s inlaws!
DefinitelyProbably not making the final cut... ;)50,025 / 50,000
Nov 7, 2009 - 00 10
Caution somewhat mature. The character was translating a book...poorly.
“Let’s move on,” Lias said suddenly.
Coming This Screnzy: We All Grew Up
Some people follow their dreams. Others hunt them down and beat them into submission
24,072 / 50,000
Nov 7, 2009 - 08 09
I'm actually quite fond of the sentence and most of the paragraph, but here it is:
"If I make history, it will not be for being the first person to die from exploding mothball fumes produced by a secondhand blanket."
42,035 / 50,000
Nov 7, 2009 - 08 26
I wrote a really terrible 58-word sentence yesterday:
"The rotting foods, slovenly and sickly people, and the jeers and shouts slung constantly at passersby were part of the latter group of displeasing attributes, repugnant to the teen girl, and she often wondered how those who worked and resided here day after grueling day could grow accustomed to or learn to ignore such disgusting and horrid things."
----------www.spidergirl.writing.com
NaNo 2006 Winner - All or Nothing - post-apocalyptic totalitarian dystopia
NaNo 2007 Winner - The Price of Immortality - supernatural mystery
27,529 / 50,000
Nov 7, 2009 - 11 30
The most ridiculous sentence in my novel so far is probably also the most pornographic. It comes completely out of the blue, since the novel is overall very classical and proper and dark and sober, but then something like this happens:
It's very... Oh, well. Did I mention these two are 65 and 62 years old, respectively? I should be arrested.
----------I also ramble on Twitter (though sometimes in Dutch).
2008: Junior Boys (won)
2009: Guilt (...?)
41,817 / 50,000
Nov 7, 2009 - 12 26
I think this was the most hilarious thing that has happened so far and i've been reading it to people every chance I get. The context are two college students, a Britan and and African American, in an argument that degrades into childish name calling. (fore that sake of conserving space, each line is only separated by a comma.)
“You jackass drunkard!!”, “Oversized cow!”, “Arrogant sponge!”, “Saggy bint!”, “Future wife-beater!”, “Manky hoe!", “Fork!”, “Spoon!”, “Plate!”, “Saucer!”, “Republican!”, “Democrat!”, “Al Gore!”, “Opera Winfrey!”, “Bob Saget!”, “Black Roseanne!”, “Footlicker!”, “Flubberknucker!”, “Matt Damon!”, “RuPaul!”, “Moonshiner!”, “Butch!”
I read this to my mom, and she just couldn't stop laughing and made me read it again. If I can, I'd like to extend this argument to an entire page. Right now it's only a little more than a half page.
----------This is my first year writing! Lend me your strength, veterans!
-'09 : From Here We Move Forward
41,061 / 50,000
Nov 7, 2009 - 13 49
Oh man..
Well, my best friend recommended this sentence when I told her about this topic, she is actually using it for her signature on our guildforum now.
Tyrunn is a mob boss, and the person writing this is a journalist who is on Tyrunn's hitlist. The journalist isn't really making things any better for himself..
----------99,9% of the time, the problem lies between the keyboard and the chair
60,045 / 50,000
Nov 7, 2009 - 17 13
True story.
Long live me and long live anarchy!
- Drunkard, for whom the bell tolls...
53,100 / 50,000
Nov 7, 2009 - 17 15
I detected both a train wreck and a free bed, possibly both in the same orfice.
Followed by:
Three hundred pounds, countless drinks, and three crushing lap dances later, I convinced the woman that we should go to her place instead of mine. My explanation was that I was having my kitchen remodeled and the exposed asbestos were a boner killer.
Ok, that was three sentences. But the hilarious premise here is that a guy is looking for a Sugar Mama in order to live rent-free in her flat but instead is mistaken by an escort to be a banker from Craig's list who tried to meet her incognito at a squat party in Mayfair. She then proceeds to spend all the poor guy's money on taxi rides and over priced drinks all over London, then charges him hundreds of pounds the next morning for services he never wanted to begin with.
I have a really sick sense of humor I guess XD
----------45,095 / 50,000
Nov 7, 2009 - 17 39
My cheesy line includes a vampire too!! =D
You’re not wanted here, undead,” a voice said. It was guttural, a truck engine to the vampire’s Cadillac purr.
There are definitely bad metaphors sprinkled throughout my writing... but presently I'm too lazy to fix 'em.
----------56,092 / 50,000
Nov 7, 2009 - 18 15
Hrmmmm... ridiculous bad, I don't know. They're in there, but I'm glossing over the bad writing. riduclous I think it's funny on the other hand...
“Probably not the answer they were looking for, huh?” Victoria joked.
“Well, I thought about farting, but felt that the burp was the least offensive option.”
"What was the test about anyway?”
“Oh, emotional projection. Everyone was supposed to be projecting a feeling that they were assigned, and I was supposed to guess who was feeling what.”
“So, how’d you fail that?”
“I didn’t fail, I burped. I maintain that someone was feeling really gassy at the moment...
“Fine.. I did ok. But is it my fault if I never saw a real zebra?”
“See - all I get is this hippy crap about feelings in my classes.”
Being books about psychology, they all had long titles such as “Maria Hatton: A Study of a Post-Neo-Freudian Elektra Complex, and the Influences on Pre-Neo-Freudian Psychiatry”...
“Yes, I’m reading your mind, and no, I’m not to be bent over the desk.”
I don't think they're laugh out loud funny, but I enjoyed writing them.
----------~End Transmission~