Help my MCs have a baby!

I find that miracles are very heartwarming, if done correctly.

Adoption is a great option as it gives you a lot to write about as it takes a while and you can go through the anticipation and frustration in detail.

It sounds like your story is about a couple trying to have a baby, and the impact that has on their marriage...?
It can be a big source of conflict, b/c of all the frustration -- and perhaps disagreement about what next?

e.g. what if Wife wants to keep trying the traditional way, but Husband is afraid they won't have a baby before he turns [insert age here] -- so he pushes for IVF, surrogates, and ultimately, adoption.
Or, vice-versa -- maybe she doesn't want to go through another miscarriage, and wants to consider adoption, but Husband isn't as crazy about the idea of raising a child who's not related by blood.
Are there fertility issues? did the miscarriages cause any damage that means now the Wife can't get pregnant? or maybe she can, but it's incredibly risky?

Etc. It's been a shared endeavor so far, with all the trials and tribulations -- but you can really shake things up emotionally if the characters who share an overall goal [baby] are put into conflict [how to get the baby].

Thanks for your responses... I'm not feeling so stuck anymore.

Still not sure how I'll resolve this, but I think the emotional tension in their marriage needs some work. (And it DEFINITELY needs lots of words!)

I went through infertility treatment with dual-factor infertility -- both of us had issues. That's the case with something like 40 percent of people who have enough trouble to seek treatment. (If you're looking for reality check, go to www.resolve.org.)

For years, I wondered if I'd have trouble, more hunches than anything real, possibly because I'd watched other people go through treatment and I was older when we started trying. Then, after trying and taking first-thing-in-the-morning temperatures (basel maybe? -- lost sleep since then) and finding the best time and still failing, we went for simple testing. Not just bad news, but so bad that it was possible that we'd skip straight to in vitro, and even then, the kind that doesn't merely allow the sperm to find the egg within the petri dish, but when the sperm is injected into the egg. My gyn referred me to the fertility doc, whom my friend dubbed so hot that she wanted to accompany me for every treatment. (She'd been his patient, got pregnant with twins, but lost them in an early miscarriage. She still had tremendous respect for him, even though she was finished with infertility. She adopted instead.)

I had a busy week at work, so I pulled it all together. I held up fine until I got past the hardest day, and I opened the questionnaire. When I read over the questions, it made it seem like it was my fault. I went into hysterics -- and I'm not the hysterical type at all. I had to call into work and ask if I could come in an hour late. Luckily, I could.

The practice I went to had its own counselor who'd been a nurse who did many of the procedures because infertility is a huge whammy on a couple. My practice required a visit with her for in vitro, as that comes with many more wrinkles.

In the end, it turned out we could try one procedure -- intrauterine insemination, which is NOTHING like a turkey baster -- and on the last round before in vitro, we conceived. Phew. When it was time for the second baby, factors on both sides had worsened. We got to try insemination again, fewer rounds though, and again on the last round, we conceived. We joke that my husband does best under pressure.

If we had to go through in vitro, I don't know if I would have done it. As a co-worker who did do it explains it, it's like spending money for a small car, with only a one-third to one-half chance of driving it home -- only a lot more emotionally taxing.

I kept sane by researching adoption. Looking on the bright side toward the next step made the earlier steps less onerous.

Hope this helps.

I know I've heard many cases of a couple adopting a baby and then becoming pregnant soon after the adopted child arrives home. Sometimes the two children are only nine or ten months apart in age.

It might be interesting to go that route...

Cardiogirl: 19% body fat, 100% fun
http://www.cardiogirl.net

Thank you again!

Cardiogirl... I'm considering that option for my MCs. At least, the adoption part. May skip the surprise pregnancy, but who knows?

Peg... thanks for sharing your story. Wow. I've had several miscarriages myself, and some rough pregnancies... so I'm probably just working out some emotional baggage with this story. :) But it's helpful to get someone else's perspective. I'll check out the resolve website... maybe "inciid", too.

It sounds so very, very lovely, but this happens very, very rarely. Most people whose infertility is that severe do not become pregnant.

Admittedly, I do know one surprise baby -- another family who went to my same doctor. That busy, prominent Indianapolis practice told her it was extremely rare, despite all the anecdotes to the contrary. The reason you've heard of the friend-of-a-friend who had the baby a few months apart is because it's such a touching story that people remember it. These people do not remember (or never heard about, as many infertility patients keep it private) the majority other unsuccessful infertility couples who get past menopause without ever having a child.

If you check out www.resolve.org, you will probably find this among the "Things not to say to someone undergoing infertility." It'd be like saying this to someone recovering from breast cancer: "I know of a friend of my sister's whose breast grew back after she had a mastectomy."

Please do not take this as picking on anyone. The idea may work well in the book. However, if you mention this to someone in real life who is undergoing infertility treatment, you could have someone break into tears. And if she happens to be on one of the hormone therapies that make her more moody than a bad case of PMS, you'll need a mop and a bucket for those tears.

Thinking comforting thoughts for you. A miscarriage is something so difficult. I cannot imagine what you must have gone through. Yes, your writing could be excellent therapy and a way to remember those babies who will always live in your heart.

Yeah... I've pretty much ruled out the surprise pregnancy. I'm considering adoption, with the circumstances of the baby's birth as a subplot. I HAVE had them reacting to some of the rude/stupid things people have said to them, including the idea of just going on vacation so they can relax and then magically they'll have a baby. (Yep, heard that one myself.)

There's a bit of a miracle element in there, too, with the baby's birth relating to flashbacks of MC's grandma.

I just can't believe the way a story develops out of absolutely nothing simply because I have to keep up with the daily word goal... I'm loving the NaNoWriMo!!!

Thanks again for the input. :)

so slightly off topic but is it bad, that i got stuck in my story and all of a sudden got my MC pregnant. and now her child is taking over my story!!!!! i just love her to pieces...

okay so back to my original question.. it bad that i just had her pop out a kid because i got stuck in my plot?

oh and adoption is totally amazing...