So I'm running into this weird problem with my novel that I didn't have last year. Which is weird because I wrote YA last year too, and this year's is the sequel.
Anyway, my problem is that I write what I think is a particularly well-crafted and lovely-sounding sentence, and then I go, "Hey, wait a minute. That is way too articulate for my heroine." I'm using a first-person narrator, a 16-year-old girl, and the dialogue is spot on. But with the narrative, I keep thinking, "Wait, is my heroine really going to say that word?"
Does anyone else have this problem? Have you run across it in other people's books? Does it bother you?
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--Sarah, Colorado Springs co-ML
52,943 / 50,000
Nov 16, 2009 - 13 17
I'm guessing this is written in first-person?
First person writing definitely demands consistency between the narrative voice and the narrator's lines of spoken dialogue. Good on your for noticing they don't match, though. That suggests that your instincts are right; lesser writers wouldn't have noticed. You noticed, so you'll work to fix it.
I'm doing first-person this year, for the first time. It is interesting; I'm finding myself paying more attention to dialogue than in previous years. For the narrative and the narrator's dialogue, I'm pretty much just letting myself "channel" the character, and whatever comes out is what comes out. But for the other characters, I've really started paying attention to what sort of people they are, and where they're coming from in any given conversation. I'm also paying attention to using their particular verbal tics to help convey what kind of people they are.
I have on character who is a deeply manipulative S.O.B. He tends to express his thoughts in the form of imperative-voice sentences. He's smooth about it, but basically he's always trying to tell other people what they think--or should think. So he doesn't say "oh, I don't think that's a good idea." Instead, he says "You don't want to do that."
I have another character who actually exists only as a memory to the narrator. All of his dialogue is in the form of questions. When she hears his voice in her head, he says everything through questions for which the narrator really already knows the answer even if she's not quite ready to admit it.
I've got the narrator's mom, who is in deep denial about many aspects of her life. So, when confronted with anything that doesn't fit her imaginary version of life, she ignores it or changes the subject. She's also very quick to pin culpability on other people, for anything she doesn't like.
These are all minor characters, but so far I have found it very helpful to think about their dialogue in these ways. Whenever they say something, I have to ask myself if the words coming out of their mouths fit with the pattern. And I edit until they do.
I don't know if that really addresses your question, but that has been working well for me. I hope it helps!
----------Lapochka (YA emotional journey / travel adventure):
A young woman searches for her missing father through clues hidden in Soviet-era Russian comic books.
Also check out my writing blog at: http://www.plottopunctuation.com/blog/
50,062 / 50,000
Nov 16, 2009 - 16 27
It's not the dialogue that's a problem for me. The dialogue sounds like the average 16-year-old girl. The narrative, however, sounds like me at my most articulate, and I am 30, so that definitely won't work. :P
------------Sarah, Colorado Springs co-ML
50,362 / 50,000
Nov 16, 2009 - 23 06
I am in a very similar situation. My main character is a 14 year old girl telling her own story. The dialogue is pretty appropriate, but it's the narrative I'm wrestling with, too. There are times where I really feel her voice is coming through, and other times the narrative feels entirely too--adult.
I'm just trying to embrace it when she takes over, push on through when she doesn't. You know how finicky teenagers can be! ;)
A great exercise I use in my classroom to teach voice is to take an event (you can make something up or pull it from the headlines) and re-tell it as though your character had experienced it personally. Since dialogue doesn't seem to be the main issue, steer clear of any major dialogue in your re-telling and focus on your character's voice. How would SHE recount what has just happened? Maybe you can even work it into your story somehow?
Just think... there will be so many fascinating discoveries to make in the re-draft process. Our books will be well over that 50K mark when all is said and done. Keep getting to know her. Her voice will become more and more clear the longer you write with alongside her. Pretty soon, she'll be demanding to take over completely!
Good luck! If you stumble upon any tricks, let me know!
----------Mrs. D
Tortured Teacher and Part-time author
50,062 / 50,000
Nov 17, 2009 - 12 05
Great advice, Mrs. D. Thanks!
I had hoped to have a pretty good idea of her voice, since this is my second novel with her, but . . . I don't know. It's weird. I'm just going to have to push through and mark the spots where she starts sounding too much like me.
------------Sarah, Colorado Springs co-ML