Excerpt: The View from Outside

she could have gone back and made room for them. she could have simply taken back a few simple steps to place them in such a way as to await the incoming with ease, as though they had always belonged in the sequence. but she didn't. she continued haphazardly stacking the cards as though denying the math its own relevance. as if losing by sheer laziness was still a victory over logic.

she enjoyed chaos, the effortless ignorance of order. not in a way that presented disarray, or messy violence due to misunderstanding. just in the sense that one thing lead to another, and thinking about the choices too hard removed their inherent freedom.

there were always more choices. and if one lead back to a previous choice and altered the original outcome, so be it.

the ace of diamonds leered at her from the stack, six cards hulking over it, impeding her next move. she moved the ten of spades instead, freeing up the three of hearts to add to the appropriate pile. solitaire had never been difficult for her; the fact that she chose not to think about the next move seemed to support the concept of luck and chance that made the game so fun if not stressful for those who attempted to think their way out of the puzzle.

rubix cubes on the other hand, were untouchable. sure, they invited you with their spinning colors and solutions that always seem a turn away. but, in truth they were luckless algorithms, math that ineffably solved itself the "right" way every time. no way out of the common riddle, although solvable in many ways, the unchanging nature made them repulsive. unplayable, for there is no "play," only math. relentless, unerring puzzles with no sense of humor. it would only bow to you if you bowed first.

"fuck that," she murmured aloud to no one in particular.