some still-unnamed thing that induces keyboardsmashing when I think about it too hard
an excerpt

“I have a problem,” Malik said.

“I assumed as much,” York said. “Why else would you show your face here?”

Malik ignored the jab. “My ID bracelet is gone.”

York looked at him. “That is terribly inconvenient for you.”

“I had it before I went to the waterworks,” Malik said. “I noticed that it was gone when I left. I couldn’t find it and no one else had picked it up. Those bracelets do not come off easily, and I would have noticed if someone had pulled it through my wrist.”

“They are also designed so that they cannot be broken open by magic,” York said. She did not sound pleased.

“I suppose it could have caught on something and be inside a machine somewhere,” Malik suggested. He didn’t believe the idea for a second, but it was always good to think of truly unbelievable reasons for unexplained happenings. Still, it was a bit strange to believe in the outrageous causes and doubt the reasonable ones.

York seemed to agree. “Don’t be ridiculous,” she said. “I don’t believe that and neither do you.”

“Yes’m,” Malik said.

“On the bright side,” York said, “at least we know that something odd is going on at the waterworks. I’ll have to tell Harper. It’s quite convenient, don’t you think?”

Malik did not find this convenient in the slightest, but he was certainly biased in the matter. “Why would anyone steal my ID bracelet?” This had been bothering Malik for some time. “It doesn’t make any sense. It doesn’t tell anyone anything that they couldn’t already find out about me.”

“Stop deliberately being a moron,” York said. “It doesn’t become you. Do you go around telling people your number or that you are a spatial manipulator?”

“I don’t see why anyone would care about that,” Malik said.

“Then why do you not talk about it?” York asked.

Malik had absolutely no idea where she was going with this. “I just don’t like to deal with the way people react to it.”

York sighed. “You can be so very dense when you put your mind to it.”

Malik still didn’t understand, but didn’t feel like pressing further. “I’ll try to stop, ma’am. What should I tell the Magis office?”

“Don’t bother with the Magis office just yet. I will talk to General Aaron, and you will then speak with him. His office is in the palace. If you go and ask for him, they will take care of you,” York said. “I can’t help you with the line to get the actual bracelet, and I doubt that the Magis-General can, either, but I don’t think that telling some random office worker that a person or persons unknown stealthily removed a nigh-unremovable bracelet without your knowledge. They’re bloody good at detecting lies. I don’t suspect you of lying about the theft, but I don’t want you to talk about the circumstances surrounding this loss to just anyone, and that would require some fancy footwork with the truth. I’ve only ever heard rumors of one person being able to mislead them, and I’m not sure that I trust Aaron’s word on that. He was a bit biased when he told the story.”

Malik was, by now, completely at sea. “I’m sorry?”

“If you’re curious, ask General Aaron,” York said. “He might like to tell the story. He often does like to tell them.”

“That wasn’t what I meant, ma’am,” Malik said. “You want me to go speak with the Magis-General himself?”

“Yes,” York said, apologetically. “You may be waiting there a while.”

This, Malik thought, was an understatement. “Are you sure that he will see me?”

“Go,” York said, pointing at the door. “He won’t eat you, and you need that bracelet before I can let you do anything else. Show it to me as soon as you get it. I assure you that I will still be here, regardless of the hour.”

Malik didn’t think that her statement was a likely one, but he nodded and went from the room anyway. She was obligated to give him the order she had, and he wouldn’t blame her were she absent when he returned.

“And don’t get pulled over for speeding,” York called after him. “I won’t bail you out of that, and it’ll land us both in trouble.”

“Yes’m,” Malik said, and closed the door behind him. “Gah,” he added upon turning and nearly cannoning into the man standing there. Malik reflexively stumbled backwards and fell through York’s door. “Ah, sorry, ma’am,” Malik said, whirling to face her. “I’ll just go now.”

York’s expression had not changed, but she was a Conceit, after all; for all Malik knew, she was laughing at his clumsiness on the inside. It was amusing, in a distant sort of way: a clumsy would-be spy who fell through doors inadvertently was nothing short of farcical. “Of course.”

The door opened before Malik could move for it. “York,” said the blond man whom Malik had almost run into, “did a young man with – oh, hello,” he interrupted himself upon noticing Malik. “As I was saying, did he just trip through your door?”

Malik flushed and stared at the ground, wishing that it were feasible for him to sink through it.

“Yes, I believe so,” York said, placidly.

The blond man blinked. “Ah.”

“I’ll just go now,” Malik repeated, hoping that the desperation was not evident in his voice and knowing that it was. “Ma’am. Sir.”

The blond man stepped away from the door. “I apologize for the inconvenience,” he said. He sounded a touch too earnest for Malik’s comfort.

“Er,” Malik said, utterly flustered and hating it, “I’m very sorry,” he added, and fled.

He was sure that he had seen the man before, and perhaps even known who he was, and he cursed his lack of memory for faces.