Double Jeopardic Farcehood
an excerpt

A young man sat on the edge of a cliff. He considered just stepping off, and getting rid of all these complications.

He liked a certain girl, and she liked him, but she wished him to stay home. He was made to explore and wander and she knowingly wanted to hamper that. He knew there had to be a God, based on all that he had seen and known. He also knew what would make this God happy, but he never really had much direction on what do to when it came to what this God might want with him. So he sat on the edge of a cliff, feeling useless. And he had a headache.

He looked down and considered just falling off. But what if it did not work? What if he just was injured and undead? Nobody would know he was there, and it would be painful. Nobody would understand even if they did know. Of all things, the only thing he could not face was overwhelming pain. He had broken bones as a child, and he knew he would never be able to tolerate a sword thrust. One reason he had chosen this route. It may be bloody at the end, but he would never know it, unlike slitting his wrists or throat. Besides, what would his father say? Alé would call it a desecration of a family heirloom to take the sword handed down through his family and use it as a suicide weapon. What man would take the easy way out, any way?

Not an honorable man, and the first thing drummed into young Petmerc was honor. It did not matter what depression did to you, it did not matter who said what, as long as you retained your honor, which was probably why Alé never loved Petmerc’s mother at all, for honor. Petmerc did not understand that a lot, but Alé had said it himself once in a fit of anger. And you did not question Alé while he was in a fit of anger. A girl had tried it once, they said, and he had made her life miserable. Alé never spoke of this mythical girl, so Petmerc began to doubt her existence. The sun sank and Petmerc knew it would not be safe here much longer, and he did not have the lack of honor to kill himself. But neither did he have the ability to go home and declare to society that they could all just drop dead for all he cared. He believed society to be confining and irksome, so ever since he was a boy and old enough to learn the ways of the forest, he spent time and more time away from the capital. This evening, he must go to Zinya. It would be a safe place to sleep, and small enough for a port city that he could continue on without being noticed on his hike through Etorah.

So he stood and brushed himself off. There would be no time to lose if he wished to survive. It was more dangerous to travel the path to Zinya from anywhere than to fall or jump off a cliff. I am reaching but I fall and the stars are black and cold as I stare into the void. I will escape now from that world, from the world of society. There is nowhere I can turn and there is no way to go on… except to disappear completely. So disappear he did. Nobody would see or hear from him for three days.

The reason for the shortened time was simply this. Young Petmerc arrived in Zinya that night, and he promptly fell asleep in an abandoned meeting house. He was not that young, he may have been twenty five or twenty six. But he had forgotten his own birthday after so much scorning of all his father yearned for: power and riches and friends. So he was not certain.

The next morning, he sat in the meeting house, miserable. He wished that he did not have the stupid family honor that required him to live. But had it he did, and he would have to make the best of it. He refused to allow himself to think about food or any such beneficial things that day. He focused on his absolute and utter misery. And true enough, he remained miserable.

The next morning, he rose, and put his hand on a red streak to steady himself. He did not know what he placed his hand on, and so stood back to study this wall. Blotches of colors spattered the wall, but they were streaks more than blotches. They at one time must have been signatures, and he knew then this was the Signing Wall that had been spoken of to him at one time. Only one signature remained visibly legible, with three empty inches all around it. It read simply “Serenity unto all, Kaema.” Petmerc somehow knew this was the miracle from God that he had prayed for nights before. And somehow, this Kaema became an angel. Her handwriting strokes were confident, with a flourish at the end, but it was effective writing. He put his hand on it and traced it, knowing that writing this way would tire him out less, and immediately knew.

This Kaema was efficient and effective and confident, but with a little flourish under her steady manner. This kind of woman would be the kind of woman he needed, and the kind of woman he could love. Alé had been after him to marry for the longest time into a respectable family, and to marry a woman of very good character indeed. Surely Alé could have no objection to a woman like this Kaema. Petmerc knew he would have no objection to a woman like this Kaema either, and thanked the dear Lord that He had brought a true miracle to him. He pleaded for the Lord to help him find this Kaema, and for him to be able to win her. The Lord brought to mind the girl he had thought he had loved, Liveslí. But he knew now he did not love her, and before setting out to find this Kaema, he had to tell Liv he was so sorry for building any false hopes for Liv. So he immediately set out for the capital of Okori again, and confessed to Liv his mission.

Liv had been in complete shock. She had begged him to stay, but Petmerc had shaken his head and smiled. He had told her that he was a wanderer, and he knew that it would not work out even if he wanted it to. When he left Liv, he immediately headed back to Zinya. He began there for his search for this Kaema.

After a week, he found a woman who had owned that building he had slept in, and she spoke of a Fireball that had held meetings there. She told him that Fireball had been the first to sign the wall, and that she was about eighteen. She had spoken of her twin brother Rabant to him, and he wondered if it was the same that Alé had known, but he doubted and had not mentioned it to his father when he came home. Nobody had seen this Fireball for another year, nor a Kaema either. Finally he came home, almost defeated.

His father immediately began pressuring him to marry, and spoke of a newcomer to the Truntecce. He told of a trial, where a young woman had come with ridiculous charges against her, claiming an old friend to be her father. Alé had stepped up to defend her, and she was now a favorite supper companion of his family’s. Alé had insisted that Petmerc go visit her, or at least go exchange a sum of money before he took off to go wandering again.

There at the Currency Exchange office, just when he was about to give up again, he found Kaema. Alé had known all along, and Petmerc was forced to admit his father had done well.

Today, he had had to go and tell Liv that his mission had been successful. For a moment, he was frightened, because he thought he had seen Kaema in another man’s arms, and was thankful when it turned out it was not. But upon entering the house, he had been greeted overenthusiastically by Liv, who believed he had given up and come home to propose to her. She did not understand at all, and kissed him, which had been distasteful to him. Finally, he was freed, and now here he was with Kaema and all would be well.