Somebody's Memoir
an excerpt

SOMEBODY’S MEMOIR

Chapter One

Megan laid her head on Jonas’s shoulder as the heavy doors closed behind them. She felt bereaved, even though she had just left her mother’s bedside.

‘I feel like I have lost her.’ Megan’s voice caught in her throat as she fought back the tears. ‘I need her, you know. I need mum as she was. Freya needs her, the new baby will need her…’ she stroked her belly. ‘Mum doesn’t even realise that there’s another grandchild on the way.’

Jonas squeezed her tight. ‘Don’t you think it’s better that she doesn’t realise, the way things are?’

‘Yes, but it doesn’t make it right.’ She stopped in her tracks.

‘Come on, Megan, we have a train to catch.’

‘I have just institutionalised my mother.’ Megan stared at Jonas with wide eyes. ‘What have I done?’

‘Megan, sweetheart…’

‘Don’t!’

‘Don’t what?’ Jonas looked confused.

‘Don’t talk down to me.’

‘I wasn’t going to.’

‘You called me sweetheart.’

‘Oh, right, sorry - but I only meant to be comforting.’

Megan’s shoulders sagged. ‘I know, I know. It’s just me. I’m the one that should be sorry, but all I can think about is that I have left my mother in this horrible looking place. It looks like a prison, for goodness sake.’

‘We’ve already talked about this, Megan, and you know it’s much better inside than it looks on the outside. Besides, Amelia is not going to see what it looks like from the outside, is she?’

‘Jonas! Don’t say that! You make it sound as though she’ll never leave the place…’

Jonas stayed silent, not sure what to say next. They both knew that Megan’s mother would never leave. The doctors reckoned that she would be bed-bound before long, if other patients were anything to go by. It was as well to face up to facts right from the start, wasn’t it?

‘Jonas? Can we go back?’

‘We’re on our way back now, aren’t we?’

‘No, I mean back to see mum. Just for a few more minutes. She didn’t say goodbye.’ Megan wiped her eyes.

‘You know we can’t go back now, Megan. Visiting time is over and they’re very strict on that. You have signed her care over to the hospital and you have to stick to their rules.’

‘But I don’t want to!’ Megan wailed like a child. ‘I want my mum!’

Jonas felt helpless and hopeless in the face of his wife’s despair. He hadn’t expected this kind of reaction. Not from Megan. Megan was strong. He wiped his hand over his eyes, then put his arms around her, rocking her gently, aware of passers-by’s eyes on them. He’d liked to have reminded her that there was a time and a place, but knew that it would be the wrong thing to do - and it certainly wouldn’t help Megan.

‘Is there anything I can do?’