Unsure
an excerpt

"Are you afraid of love?" Colin asked suggestively, leaning down and puckering his lips.
"No, I'm just afraid of you." Lia replied, putting her hand on his chin and pushing him back.
"You look like you want some love." Colin said passionately, seemingly without realizing how futile his attempts were. Lia looked at him, bemused and uncomfortable. She pulled down her short black skirt and tried to look unapproachable. She knew that her attempts would be fruitless. She had spent nearly an hour in front of the mirror after picking up her outfit and she had still managed to make herself look slutty and desperate. She scratched the back of her ear with a long pink fingernail, catching a strand of light brown hair in it. Meanwhile, she was dutifully holding Colin back with her other hand after he had attempted to kiss her again. She thought that he smelled nice, like tobacco, cologne and rum and coca-cola. The 20 year old girl cursed at herself for not wanting to randomly hook up with a tall, good-looking guy who was so insistant.
"Are you going to stop now?" Lia asked, trying to keep the amusement out of her voice. She tried to sound annoyed, but she had always been a terrible actress.
"You're feisty. I like that." He said with a droll. Lia felt the need to burst out laughing, but kept herself in check.
"Colin, you know me. Like, we've been roommates for a year. I'm not some random girl." Lia emphasized the word know using dramatic gestures with her hand and opening her amber eyes up.
"You're right about that" He said, putting his finger on her shoulder and imitating poorly the sound of something wet touching something hot. Lia, who at first had found it a little offensive, couldn't help but laugh uproariously.
"Just shut up" the girl said to her friend as he rested his head on her shoulder and closed his eyes.
"I'm drunk." Colin announced and smiled thinly.
"No kidding" Lia answered, smiling broadly herself. Although she had planned on getting completely trashed and hooking up with a random guy, something she did rarely, Colin had beat her to the punch by drinking nine rum and cokes before 10 o'clock. Normally they took care of each other. They had turns to drink and they never broke them. Since they had been able to afford their own apartment off-campus, they realized that stumbling drunkenly through the freeway wouldn't get them very far. They were each other's designated drivers.
They had been rooming together in a 4 person coed suite since their freshman year. Lia didn't mind her other roommates, but she couldn't have found anyone better than Colin. He was incredibly messy, but very laid back and responsible. He often said that he would pick up if he would just remember to and Lia completely believed him. She was not as messy, but she was just as relaxed. They were a roommate match made in Heaven and neither of them were willing to let that go. At first, Colin had been keen on the idea. Then he had gotten into a relationship with a girl named Elizabeth and he had tried to get out of it, but he had already signed the lease and move-in date was only ten days away by then. Elizabeth had not felt very comfortable when she had heard of this arraigment, but she had stuck with it for her very young relationship's sake.
That had backfired when Elizabeth had gone to their apartment to surprise Colin and she had found him hanging his latest erotic artwork and photographies on the wall. The model he had used had the same body type as Lia, small waist and chest but with thick legs. It didn't help that Colin didn't have any work with the model's face in it. Elizabeth had tried to knock down the door in the bathroom to get her toothbrush while screaming obsenities into it, Lia blissfully unaware under the sound of water drops splashing of the tile. Then she had stormed out, crying histerically and condemning them both to hell.
That had happened earlier that week and Colin had been chronically depressed, listening to indie bands and cutting his long black hair short. He told Lia numerous times that he wanted to join a cult and asked her for a small loan to get a Prince Albert piercing. Then he had blamed their living arrangment for the tragedy and he had tried to find his calling as a sabbatical buddhist monk, trying to convince her that he would soon drop out of college to visit Tibet. This was all within a week. She had never seen her that emotionally involved with anyone, but she knew that Colin like to make a performance out of things. However, when he laid down on the coach watching reruns of Poltergeist remastered for hours straight, she couldn't help but feel a little guilty. She had taken it into her own hands to try and lift his spirits, and it had worked. Lia missed being the irresponsable one, but she thought her emotionally being was slightly more important than killing hundreds of neurons with liquor. That decision, however wise and honest it had been once, now seemed foolish as dozens of young people did a poor imitation of dancing as they grinded against each other. She caught the eye of a good looking young man and her heart leaped when he looked dissapointed at the boy resting on her shoulder and shrugged with a smile. Lia felt slightly resentful of him and shrugged, making his head fall off and hit the half-wall they were sitting on.
Colin's eyes opened slightly.
"I'll drag you home." Lia sighed, knowing that she wouldn't be able to do much that evening. She clutched his thick arm with her small long fingered hands, knowing well that she was marking her many rings into his skin. She nearly dragged him through the party and pushed him in the back chair of her 97 Honda Civic. She grunted a warning that had something to with vomit and carpets. She waved at a cute guy, getting the same reaction she did before when he saw the Colin's sneakers. Lia felt like kicking him in the ass, and he was so accessible, lying down on his stomach and - she shook her head, scolding herself for such dirty thoughts and smiling slightly. She heard Colin mutter something in the back and put the radio on just loud enough to silence him.
The next morning, Colin was predictably hung-over, walked excessively slow and asked her to quiet down when she was walking in slippers through the carpeted living room. Lia was already grumpy when she went to get the mail and found a small postcard with a beach on it and a friend’s sloppy handwriting, telling her how much she regretted that Lia was too broke to make it and emphasizing how drunk she was with multiple exclamation marks. Lia placed her fingers on it and imitated a ripping noise with her mouth, but she knew she wouldn’t do that to Diana. Instead, she grunted and cursed at her parents for not paying for her plane ticket to at least go home for the week. When she got back, a naked woman was posing on the futon, and a guy she had never seen was sipping her expensive foreign coffee on the kitchen counter.
“Boyfriend?” She asked him, pointing at the nude girl. Lia knew that all the work Colin did was based on working for each other, being able to use both images and get exposure. She knew that there was a specific word for it, but she always forgot. Colin had patiently reminded her until the last two sessions, when he had taken to just rolling his big brown eyes. He only worked with amateurs, who often felt uncomfortable getting nude in some guy’s apartment so they usually brought a boyfriend or a close friend with them. The guy nodded his head, making his blonde hair shake slightly. He muttered something that sounded like he hoped she didn’t mind. Lia shrugged and stepped away from the counter, all while grabbing the coffee container on the counter. The boyfriend, looking nervous and bored, balanced his weight between his feet.
“It’ll get better.” Lia said, reassuringly. “Colin is really professional.”
The boyfriend rolled his eyes, making his small white nose wrinkle while he did, giving her a dry smile.
“I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t feel very comfortable if my girlfriend drew and photographed naked guys all day.” He extended his hand and shook hers vigorously. “Nick.”
“Lia.” She said, smiling. “And we’re not dating.”
“So are you a lesbian?” he asked, raising his eyebrows slightly.
“Don’t stereotype me.” She said, shaking the coffee container and making it sound. “I don’t appreciate it.”
“Sorry.” He apologized, his cheeks reddening. “I didn’t mean to-“
“That’s fine. I’m not a lesbian.” Lia frowned and looked at Colin, passionately working with a big brush on a nearly blank canvas. According to his artistic routine, he would photograph her right after he was done with the painting. He wouldn’t stop until she either begged him to or he had gotten the perfect shot.