This Chaos, This Calamity
an excerpt

With his attention still on his cross word, Peter took a mug and put it to his lips. “It's empty,” he said. He gave it a closer look. “And it's a head.”
“It's not just any head, honey. It's the head of the Creature from the Black Lagoon.”
“Yikes. Thanks, but no thanks.” he put the mug down and pushed it way. He took another cup off the tray, a squat red one shaped like a tomato, and glanced inside. “This one's empty, too. What is this madness?”
Betty and Ariel giggled.
“Here,” said Ariel, “Let me take care of that for you, genius.” She poured milk into his cup and then filled the Creature's head for herself. The other two mugs, one pink with purple kittens and the other shaped like the head of Elvis, were filled and passed out.
“One day I'm going to buy you a matching set,” Peter said. This was not the first time he said this. So Ariel didn't take the bait.
Miranda sipped from her cup. “A matching set of what?” Her mother, on the other hand, snapped it up each and every time.
“Of something. Anything.”
“The day that happens is the day you start dating girls,” said Ariel.
“And that will be the day you finally get to play Juliet. Now, I need another word for an asshole. Four letters in length, please.”
Ariel pouted. “Jerk.”
“Oh yeah. But seriously, I'm buying you a matching set of something one of these days.”
“I don't want a set of anything. I like my house the way it is.”
“But nothing matches!”
He was right. Nothing in her house did match. From the living room, to the bathroom, to the attic, everything was uncoordinated and loud. There were the neon yellow curtains in the kitchen. The headless lawn gnomes that held up the bath tub. A gargoyle painted with clown make up guarded their front porch. A horde of bizarre statues and flamingos paraded in the lawns. If something came in a set, it was scattered and mixed with other odds and ends.
Even Ariel was out of place. While Miranda was a brown skinned, dark eyed, tattooed Amazon, Ariel was a slight slip of a child and white as a lily. The only color on her was her freckles, eyes and hair, which was a faded dead leaf brown.
Miranda settled down on the rug and pecked at a cookie. “There's nothing wrong with a little creative disorder.” she said.