Out of Gas
an excerpt

“According to our news-channel 4 sources, this Gasoline Crunch should come as no surprise, as predictions had been being made as early as the 1950’s, our sources say. Frank Wailing has more. Frank?”
“Thank you Stone. Yes. Back in the 1950’s when he was first making his predictions, some people called M. King Hubbert a flaming flake because of his dire predictions of, what has been called, Peak Oil.”
“Peak Oil? But, that sounds like a good thing, Frank!”
“Oh, that is what you would think, isn’t it, Stone? Hehhhh, heh, heh, heh, heh!”
“Oh, ha ha hah!”
“Hah, hah!”
“Hee hee hee! Oh, dear me.”
Will you…FREAKS just…report the FUCKING NEWS???? Fuck, I need a drink. I know I said I was gonna give the stuff up for a month, but what with my car, and me totally freaking out, and what with these dumb newscasters giving me a headache and not really telling me what’s gonna happen next, fuck. I just neeeed, need need me a drink, just a little whiskey. Not too much. Just some. I’ll give it up for reals tomorrow, that’s what I’ll do.
“Seriously, Frank. Tell us more about this person, What was it? Kingston Hubbel?”
“Close, hah, hah. M. King Hubbel. He made these predictions that oil production would go up and up and up and up, as oil people found more and more oil fields. But it would reach this peak-thingy, at some point, in which demand for oil would start to exceed the amount of oil being produced, and they would stop finding new oil fields. It happened, well, they stopped finding that many new oil fields back in the 1970’s.”
“Oh, lordy-lord! 1970s?”
“It gets worse. What with all these Asian countries getting more and more industrialized, the demand for oil is getting bigger and bigger.”
“So, I understand why my price at the pump is so large, but why is food suddenly so expensive?”
Wait, prices at the pump? There’re still pumps open somewhere? Or are they just candy-coating this huge, flaming-ass disaster? Fuck, man, fuck.
“Yes, food distribution networks have been hit hard by this fuel crunch…”
“Gas Crunch.”
“What?”
“It’s called the Gas Crunch. That’s the official name for it.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“What did I say?”
“You said Fuel Crunch.”
“Oh, sorry, Stone. I meant to say it the real way.”
“Anyway, you were saying something about, oh, what was it? Food, something about food?”
“Food distribution networks have been hit hard by this…this crunch thing, and it is impacting the food industry at all levels. From the gas-powered tractors that harvest the food on the fields, to the trucks that bring food to stores, to even the refrigeration units that store the food. All levels.”
“Is that why my wife is complaining about lettuce costing 20 dollars a head? Hah hah hah!”
“Oh, ha ha. Yes, indeed. Your wife may be complaining even more, as gas prices go up and up. Back to you.”
“Oh, hah, hah. Now to Janet with the weather. Please, Janet, tell us some better news than the news about the Gas Crunch!”
“Oh, hah hah! Yes, you are in store for some more sunny, crisp, Fall weather, the way us New Englanders like it.”
“But you’re from California.”
“Oh, well, I’m living here now, and…”
I’m changing the channel, man. Maybe the national stuff has something more informative.