Agents: A Study of Life
an excerpt

‘How could you?’

‘I had to.’

‘Oh, yes, your cock had to jump out of your pants and into my possessed body, you had to do it.’

‘It wasn’t you.’

‘It was my body. You violated me! You…fu…fuc…HOW COULD YOU?’

‘It wasn’t your heart, it wasn’t your mind.’

‘It was my sanity keeping your whore there.’ He raised his hand to hit her, she braced herself, but didn’t move. ‘It was still me.’ He lowered his hand. ‘How are you ever going to be able to look at me without seeing what you did? How am I going to deal with you?’

‘How am I going to forgive you?’

The words made her go as still as a statue. She silently mouthed them while trying to divine a meaning beyond their face value. ‘Forgive…me?’ she asked in a whisper.

‘You took her away from me.’

‘I don’t have crystals in my ears, are you saying what I’m hearing?’

His expression was steel. ‘You heard what I said.’

In her mind, she launched herself over his desk, slapped him until her hands were raw, punched him, kicked him, scratched at him, attacking him with everything she had.

In reality, she stood frozen.

‘You could never understand, Stephanie, you’ve never been in love.’

‘It’s just another kind of insanity.’

This time, he did hit her.

The anger behind the blow, rather than the actual pain, stunned her. He grabbed her and pushed her against the window wall, keeping her trapped with his body. ‘I loved her, and you took her away.’

She pushed against him, but he was an unmovable object. ‘She was already dead!’

‘You’re nothing more than a ghost with a body, what’s your point?’

‘This is my life, not hers.’

‘I had a chance to be with her!’ He dug his fingers into her shoulders. ‘Why couldn’t you let me have that?!’

‘You’re hurting me!’ she screamed as his grip broke the skin.

‘Why were you so selfish?’

She dropped her head. ‘Do you really not want me here?’

‘I want someone who can give me what I need.’ He took half a step back and looked down at her, the feeling of disgust told her he was looking beyond her suit. ‘Is that going to be you?’

Stef wished shifting didn’t require the mental discipline of a ninja, she wanted to be somewhere else. Anywhere else. Away from him.

She shook her head. ‘We’re not…I don’t…I don’t feel like that for you.’

‘Of course you don’t, you’re damaged goods.’

With one motion, he spun her and pushed her up against the window. ‘Want to give it a go anyway?’

Tears obscured her vision. ‘You’re not like this, what’s wrong with you?’

One of his legs moved in between hers, and he pulled her back so that she was riding his thigh. One hand let go of her shoulder and wrapped around her chest, holding her to him, the other snaked up her shirt.

‘STOP IT!’

His hand came to rest over her heart. ‘I can rip this out,’ he whispered into her ear, his warm breath chilling her further. ‘And bring her back.’

She went limp in his grasp. If she could have sunk into the world, she would have gladly gone into the darkness. ‘Either give yourself to me, or give Carol back.’

‘You don’t want me.’

‘No, I don’t. Who wants the consolation prize?’ He took a sudden step back and she fell to the floor. Numbness was all she could feel. She stared at her reflection in the window wall and into her own eyes. The decision was obvious – it was the only course to take.

‘Banish,’ she whispered.

For a second, or a century, she fell through nothingness – it was a floating feeling, not like sinking through death. She felt like a leaf, caught on the wind. Consciousness spiralled away from her and all became black.