The Bantam Menace: Book Two Of The Chikken Stryders Saga
an excerpt

[Note: this isn't one of the "humor" parts.]

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Salty noise. That's what it sounded like to him as his mother carried him down into the scary dark hole. He could tell everyone on the boat was upset, but wasn't sure why.

"Everything's going to be fine," said his mother. He thought she was telling him the truth, so he smiled at her as she sat him down next to a barrel of stale rations. The light from the opening above made her hair glow. Her face was dark though, so he couldn't see her smile. "Now I need you to be really really quiet for me, okay sweetie?" Her voice told him she wasn't smiling.

"'Kay," said Buck dutifully.

"Good boy," she said, and ruffled his hair. As she stepped away from him, something in him shuddered. She wasn't leaving him, was she? "I'm just going to close this hatch, okay?" That was okay, so he nodded. But then she climbed up some steps, and she let out a shriek as some arms grabbed hold of her and hoisted her up.

Buck got up to his feet, but the boat lurched, and he fell back down. He stood up again, running to the steps just as the hatch slammed shut above him. He climbed up as far as he could, but could only press up on the hatch door a few inches with his little fingers. Not enough to open it and get his mother back.

He peered through the slats and saw his mother fighting with someone with light frizzy hair. Their back was to him, so he couldn't see their face. There was some movement, and then someone was standing in front of the hatch, blocking Buck's view. He heard his mother scream -- it sounded like she started to say his name then stopped herself. And there was some other high pitched sound he didn't recognize. And more scuffling.

When the view cleared, his mother was gone, but he saw something in the sky that looked like his mother and someone else on the back of something large and dark, moving through the air. Some more shadows passed over the hatch, and Buck crept back down the stairs and sat where his mother had put him. The shouts started to die down, to be replaced by a few nonsense voices, and then... nothing.

He sat in the darkness forever, listening to the worrisome creaking of the boat. He tried eating a biscuit, but his stomach was in knots and didn't want it. He tried to sleep, but couldn't.

And then the whole ship shook. Loudly. The floor tilted, and several rats scurried across the floor. Then a final shudder, followed by a groaning silence. Buck held his breath, just because. Some distant shouting could be heard. It grew closer, and soon it was the raucous laughter of a group of happy or excited people. There were clomping noises up above. And voices.

"Thas bae our looky deh, ah'd seh. Ja got, Jonneh?"

"Ach, es no thin much. Jes wee bets o' dealies. Bout yew?"

"Nah, ah-ma tek a look doon tha wee hatch, say ef the left sumpin posh!"

The hatch opened, and a heavily bearded head peered down. He didn't seem to see Buck, and as he climbed down the stairs, he bellowed, "Oy! They've a shet-load a goodies doon ere! Ah'll hoist em up ta ye, ya ken?"

"Righta!" came a similar voice from above.

The man picked up a large crate of goods with his two beefy arms, and stomped along the slanted floor to the opening where two more beefy arms reached down to pull them up. This went on for a few minutes, until all that remained were the few barrels near Buck. He clutched one of the hard biscuits in his hands, ready to strike if necessary.

The hairy man lumbered over to where Buck was, and suddenly noticed him for the first time. "Oy!" he said with a start. "Whae tha blehzes diya bae a settin doon her en tha dark, eh?" He leaned down, squinting at Buck. His eyes widened. "By tha egg, laddy!" He whispered. "Yew... yew bae tha - ACH!" He grunted as the biscuit ricocheted off his nose.

"Whessalthat rookus aboot, Walleh?"

Walleh glanced up at the hatch, then back at the kid, his expression thoroughly scrunched together in what may have been thought. Then finally he sighed and said, "Ach, 'tis no thin', Jonneh, ah jess... kecked ah wee ratty, es all."

"Ay, then stop ya pleyin' aroond an less get outta tha shep b'fore them Chekkinjobbies show oop."

"Got et," he said, catching another airborne biscuit before it hit his nose. He looked at Buck again with a weird expression, and whispered, "Nem's Walleh, laddy. 'Member thah, ya ken? Gid luck!" And with that, he bolted for the steps and was soon out of sight, the hatch slamming shut again behind him.

And then, for the first time in what seemed like forever, there was total silence.

"Ma?" called out Buck, though he knew she was too far to hear him.

He knew he'd promised her to be really really quiet, but... he cried anyway.