Excerpt: Confessions of a Failed Preacher's Daughter

Back in the gym, so that she could still be counted present, and gain access to her street clothes, she lay herself out on the bench, heating pad on her stomach and read the bible. Her legs were crossed so as not to expose her panties to an unwitting audience. Out the corner of her eye, she saw David playing basketball. She tried not to watch his body in motion, how he filled out his shorts, the muscles expanding and contracting with his every step. She shook her head and turned back to the Good Book. Now all she could think about was getting him and that embarrassing library incident out of her head.
She continued reading and then heard a clomping of feet on the bleachers. She thought nothing of it until the clomping came closer and closer to her. She put down her bible only to find David sitting on the bleacher above hers. Dang it!
“Hey there,” he said.
“What do you want?”
“Nothing.”
“Then why are you here?” She asked. “There are plenty more benches around here.”
“Sorry I embarrassed you,” he said.
“That’s nice,” she said, refusing to believe him.
“If it’s any consolation, I don’t blame you. Hugh Effing Pyle’s book is about as useless as a bicycle to a double amputee, for lack of a more politically correct term.”
She nodded. “Did you tell anybody?”
“No.”
“Okay then,” she said. Then she looked at him again. He seemed perfectly capable of playing basketball. Okay, so he didn’t have the required height, but neither did most of the guys there. “You got benched?”
“Asthma attack,” he replied, showing his inhaler.
“Oh. Sorry about that.”
“What about you?”
“Female trouble.”
“Ah. That bad, huh?”
“I require a heating pad, so you do the math.”
He leaned over her and spoke in hushed tones, checking to make sure the coach wasn’t looking over their way. “To tell you the truth, I faked it. I’ve figured out how to fake using this to get out of PE. Organized sports suck. It’s like the army where they just want to breed a bunch of conformists. Disgusting.”
She smiled at him ever so reluctantly. She didn’t want to condone his behavior, but he was just as devious as she was, and for a good cause too. “I’m impressed.”
A smile crept onto his face, making him look like he had some sort of evil agenda. “So I’m on your good side? Even though I’m a damn dirty heathen?”
“Yeah, you’re okay. For a potty-mouth heathen.”