The h'Woj: The Holy Word of His Cleanliness the JIM
an excerpt

In those days, there was a man named Nick, and his father was the famous cheese grater Nick, and his father’s baby’s father was the great inventor of parapets, Nick, son of Nickolai. The youngest brother of the youngest Nick, named Nickolaivanaomidarthurobert, was unenlightened as to what parapets actually were, and so he embarked upon a great quest. Traversing the world, first Nickolaivanaomidathurobert, called Nick by most, came upon a great forest of blackness. Young and fearless, Nick son of Nick ventured into the great black forest, and soon found himself lost in a twisting, winding path of conveniently sharp-thorned trees. Scratched and severely nervous, Nick son of Nick discovered a tower taller and blacker than the trees. And inside the tower was a man so secluded that not even JIM knew his name, and this man’s hearing was so acute that when Nick son of Nick knocked on the door to the tower, the man was struck deaf instantly. He did not answer, and so Nick son of Nick proceeded to break down the door. Seeing the now-deaf man, so was very old, Nick son of Nick fell to his knees and cried, “O wise old man! I have travelled far and seen many things, and I seek your knowledge!” The old deaf man said nothing, and Nick son of Nick continued, saying, “I am the son of Nick the cheese grater, son of Nick the great inventor of parapets, and now I ask of you, old man, please, impart but a fraction of your wisdom onto this humble young soul.” The old deaf man said nothing, and Nick son of Nick continued, saying, “WHAT ARE PARAPETS?” The old deaf man said nothing, but got up from the wooden chair in which he had been sitting, and made small, slow steps across the floor, and tripped over an uneven stone and died instantly. And Nick son of Nick threw his fists to the sky and cried “Curse you, oh cruel fate and age! How long must I wander?” And fate and age did not respond, because they are not sentient beings, nor are fate and age able to speak to humble sons of cheese graters.