I Admit It
an excerpt

The confession

I don’t believe in time travel, it happens. I don’t need to, it happens. In fact, when I don’t believe in it a whole lot, it happens more.

Right now

I live a life of joy. I am in love with a wonderful girl. I have a lot of great friends that I never see because I don’t return their calls. I have a great job that I love and show up late for, or not at all. I am at the crest of a breakthrough. I mostly remember to brush my teeth at least twice a day. When I take a crap, I analyze how it was and if I should eat more fiber, less cheese, or some yogurt. But I never would, I hate yogurt. I love swimming, but have not done it in a while. I will go tomorrow. I always say that.

Two days earlier

I got my membership to the gym. I can work out, swim, and it looks as if they might have a sauna, but it may be under construction, I will check.
Either way, I am on track for some cleansing and workouts. I am SO due for it. I am getting fat and lazy. I was never like this before. Maybe lazy, but not fat.
I am coming home from work. It is autumn. I smell the most excellent burning from a nearby fireplace, I am almost home. I am glad to have a nice apartment to enjoy, and I earn it too, in my own way. A strong breeze blows thick smoke in my face. A warm glow lights the sky ahead. Closer to my house, I break into a run. My feet fall with the heavy thud of my worn boots-
Fuck! These were only my mid-grade shoes. Fuck! All my good- my brand new- just bought couldn’t afford at all good- shoes are still inside the house.
Fuck shit! The house! – The house is engulfed in flames. A huge mushroom of orange flame sits on the whole upper level of the converted Victorian that I rent. Glad I didn’t buy it. Or, no fuck. This could be a great insurance settlement for the person who owned it. I just lost the lottery because I didn’t buy the ticket. Instead I bought new orthopedic shoes so my back wouldn’t hurt. I bought a new computer so I could launch my web site. I bought a ticket to Missouri to visit my oldest friend. None of this matters and is now soured because of this. This fucking disaster.