Excerpt: It's All Fun & Games Until Somebody Destroys the Universe

"Look, Mackenzie," I said. "I don't care how many precautions you've taken or how many books you need to store. You cannot put a porthole to another dimension in your locker."
"I don't think you really understand how many books we're talking here," Mackenzie said. "Twelve textbooks. Twelve. And then I have all my folders and notebooks on top of that, and whatever books I'm reading for fun, and my jacket. All of that doesn't fit in your standard-sized locker. I need to put a porthole to another dimension in my locker."
"Here's a thought," I said as some asshole driver cut us off and Kate swerved across half the interstate to avoid a high-speed collision. "Try not taking so many classes."
"I'm taking the same number of classes as everyone else," Mackenzie said. "But some of them have multiple textbooks. And I have four textbooks for independent studies-"
"That sounds like an extra and therefore unnecessary class to me," I said.
"-as well as supplementary reading for the independent studies, and for the regular classes. And I have to leave my textbook for my three college classes in my locker at the high school because I need to study when I get a spare moment at school-"
"Let me get this straight," I said. "You're taking eight regular classes at the high school level-"
"None of them are regular, actually, all of them are AP, accelerated, advanced, honors, IB, weighted, or College In The Classroom-"
"And three college classes-"
"You're only supposed to take two at a time, but one of them is a tele-lecture from a different college, so the high school can't stop me from taking it-"
"And four independent studies-"
"I wanted to take five but I couldn't find any teacher at the high school to help me learn Mandarin Chinese-"
"And you're carrying three extra textbooks with you all the time, on top of your regular textbooks, so you can study on the off-chance that you'll have a spare moment?"
"No," Mackenzie said. "That would be ridiculous. I only carry one around each day. I rotate them. I usually get through about six pages a day in off-chance spare moments. That's nothing to turn up your nose at."
"You know, Mack," Kate said. "All this work you're doing to try to get into an Ivy-League school isn't going to do you any good if you have a massive heart attack in the middle of your senior year and can't go to college."
"Wizards don't get heart attacks," Mackenzie said. "Not before they're one hundred, at least."
"They do have nervous breakdowns," I muttered.
"Who taught these people how to drive?!" Kate exclaimed as another car cut her off. "Helen Keller?"
"So," Mackenzie said. "How about that portal?"
This is my life, folks. Welcome to hell.
"I'm not going to dignify that with an answer," I said, putting on earphones and cranking up some Pink Floyd.
"I had Eldin check all my numbers," Mackenzie said. "He said it would be virtually undetectable. Totally safe. Nobody would ever notice it. He said all I needed was your okay, and I could go ahead and set it up Monday after school. If Eldin thinks it's a good idea, what could possibly go wrong?"
"Why is the volume not working?" I asked, furiously twirling the thumbpad of my iPod to no avail.
"Oh, I disabled it," Mackenzie said. "There's no reason anyone should have their music so loud. It can damage your ears, and, besides, if somebody's talking to you, you can't even hear them. Why would you want that?"
"Just because people buy an SUV and leave a Bigfoot-sized carbon footprint, they think they own the whole damn road," Kate complained as she eased the car onto the exit ramp.
On second thought, I should have known the road trip would be a bad idea.