Excerpt: School Spirit - or Working at the Food Court must have Fryilated my Brain (a comedic mystery)

I, Rosie Rundell, am stuck in the middle of nowhere. Nowhere to run; nowhere to hide; middle of "absolutely nobody in their right mind should ever be stuck in a place like this for the next four years of their undergraduate career" nowhere. And whose fault is that? Mine, of course. I thought it would be fun to live the rural life while in college. It sure would be a change from suburban Massachusetts! Who doesn't love nature and fresh air and apple cider from the local farm stand? Huh? Nobody doesn't love fresh apple cider! It's scientifically impossible! I think it has something to do with pasteurization...or maybe non-pasteurization. Whatever.

So where exactly is the middle of nowhere, you ask? Well, it's a place called Giardia, New Hampshire. You might not know this, but giardia is actually one of the most common waterborne illnesses in the United States. It's a germ that is spread through water, and if you get it, it gives you what my grandmother used to politely call "the runs." It's also known by the catchy nickname "beaver fever," since you can get it by drinking from freshwater lakes and ponds (known hangouts of beavers worldwide). So yes, the middle of nowhere is named after a diarrhea disease. Fitting, isn't it?