Excerpt: Psycho Secretary

The phone beeped.
“Hello this is somebody you should worry about.” Mary Ann spoke in a ultra soft British accent. “You'll likely remember me, I was the one who answered the phone when you called Ted McKnight's place Saturday night. I know some little financial details about you and a certain Judge Adams that I know that you don't want your daddy or your new husband to know about. Don't worry, I'll be in touch.”
Mary Ann was happy with how well she had pulled off the call. Now she took a piece of paper out of her purse. Over the weekend, she had done some research on local private investigators on the internet. She had three on her list to call. She dialed the first one.
A gravely voice answered after 5 or 6 rings: “Murphy here.”
“Oh hi.” Mary started: “I'm looking for a private investigator.”
“Yeah okay. What are you needin' one for?”
“To follow my old boyfriend.”
“Okay.”
“Can I come down to your office to discuss what I'm looking for ~ say ~ lunchtime sometime this week?”
“Yeah, sure ~ how about tomorrow?”
“Okay, is your address the same as in the phone book?”
“Yep.”
“Thanks, I'll be there tomorrow.”
Mary Ann knew this investigator would probably be the best bet for her purposes, but she decided to phone the other two, first.
Mary Ann phoned the next P.I. on the list. A prissy secretary answered. She didn't even bother with that one, claiming it was a wrong number. Finally, she called an outfit named Undercover PI Inc. Again a man answered the call.
“Undercover PI Inc., what do you need uncovered? Tell me in a message and I'll call you back.” An answering machine. Mary Ann left a message with her cell phone as a contact number. She had a few tasks for the right private eye. It was just a matter of who she wanted to deal with first. Guy LaFontaine's name came to mind.
With the P.I. calls done, Mary Ann pulled out the invoices that she needed to mail out. She still had to do this work even if her mind was a million miles away and everything in her being was geared toward sweet revenge.
She was starting to hate this boring and unimportant little job. These shrinks were making scads of bucks off poor suckers who happened to be nutso. But at the same time, Dr. Holland and Dr. Morrison weren't paying her nearly enough for all the hard work she did around the office. The amount of things she was responsible for was ridiculous! Dorothy who kept the books was overpaid in Mary Ann's opinion. She hardly ever showed up to do anything. She was nosy too ~ way too nosy.