Excerpt: Who Am I To Bear It

“We could keep on the façade, and become mere masks in the end; but you want more than that, you were made for more than being a mask, Iasan.” Her voice was soothing and unknown, nothing else mattered but her voice. Nothing in the world could take that away from Iasan. Even as the poison took hold of his heart and slowed it to a murmur, her voice still remained, stroking him, “That’s it, go gently, sweet knight, dream away into the fields of Elysium.”

He had a fleeting thought of life being a dream and death the reality, nothing else seemed to matter. Not the wounds marking his skin, not the betrayal “Remember to not stay there too long, beloved.” He heard her say, ‘beloved’ as though it were a memory, and then his vision faded to black. He knew nothing now. Not names, places, faces, dreams and reality seemed to flow into one train of thought and all that remained was his sense of lifting into the air, dark and embracing him like a mother holds a child.

Mothered, when was the last time he was mothered? Thirty years? What was a year? What amount of time would consume this feeling? Was eternity supposed to be this light? He remembered the words, “don’t stay too long….. beloved…..” then he remembered nothing else. All within him was gone, no heart, no thought only a trace of spirit.