Excerpt: Drowning Hannah / Death and Other Romantic Complications

“All right,” he said. “All right. Let's say for a minute that I believe you – which I don't – and pretend that I am going to hell – which I'm not. Why, exactly, are you here? To tell me I'm a sinner and should repent before I die? Fine. I'll take that under advisement. Satisfied?”

“It's a start.”

“Cool. So, I guess you can stick around for tea since mum's probably already set you out a plate, but after that how about you – go and – and do what angels do, or whatever? Mission accomplished, soul saved, victory dances all around, that sort of thing?”

“Well, no,” Lucas said. “I was thinking I might stay with you. After all, it's going to be a full time job, sorting out your life, and the best way would probably be if I stick with you twenty-four hours a day.”

Alex knew it wasn't very polite, but he couldn't help himself.

“You – stay – look, no offense mate, thanks for the heads up and everything, but I'm really not looking for a permanent male roommate, if you get my drift.”

Lucas apparently didn't, because he just looked at Alex with a politely puzzled expression on his face. Alex boggled.

“Jesus Christ.”

“Taking the Lord's name in vain.”

“What?”

“You just used the Lord's name in vain.”

“I did not.”

“You did so.”

“No, I didn't.”

“I just heard you.”

“Are you going to do this all the time?”

“Only if you use His name in vain all the time.”

Alex moaned quietly to himself.

“You do one good turn,” he grumbled under his breath. “One good deed, save one guy from a couple of thickhead muggers and what do you get in return? A mental case who thinks he's your guardian angel and gets upset if you take God's name in vain. Fucking brilliant. Last time I ever help out someone in need.”

“Profanity,” Lucas said disapprovingly.