Excerpt: I FEEL FINE.

Light poured in the window. Jeff shifted, slowly rolling over, shielding his face from the light. His pillow was soft, but suffocating, hard to breathe through, any other phrase he could think of to describe the shortness of breath he was feeling. Somehow he knew it was not the pillow, but he suppressed that thought, instead burying his face further into the cotton.
Fingers ran through his hair, and he felt the bed shift as she lifted herself up. He didn’t move, waiting, hoping that she would leave him alone. He couldn’t face her, not now.
“Jeff, it’s okay.”
Her face was tired, last night’s makeup smeared across her face. Her hair sat in messy piles around her head and shoulders, after a night of little sleep and a lot of shifting. Mascara smeared across the pillow, her cheek, and over the fist that had been balled into her eyes not so many hours ago. She studied the naked back of her husband, and trailed her fingers down his shoulders, feeling the tension there.
“It’s not everything.”
“You don’t understand.”
She bit her lip, she knew they were going over the same stuff over and over.
“It was just a job.”
He moved then, his blue eyes found her face, shiny still with tears. She vaguely wondered how he managed it, her eyes were scratchy from last night’s marathon.
He shook his head. “We’re going to have to move. And I won’t get another job. We’re going to lose everything. Everything, Rachel. Everything.”
Rachel shook her head, staring into her husband’s face. “It will be okay.”
“How can you say that? How the fuck can you say that?” He was sitting up now, angery. “You’re fucking pregnant, Rachel. There is another mouth coming, one we can’t fucking provide for. I can’t even provide for you. How the fuck is this going to be fucking okay?”
His face was empty, cold, and serious. Only the flush of red growing from his chest showed his anger. Rachel took his face in her hands, feeling the heat in her palms, and pressed her forehead against his. “Deep breath, Jeff. It will be okay, my love. We will find money. You can get another job, we can ask mum…”
“Your mum?” Jeff closed his eyes, leaning slightly into his wife. “She was right. I don’t deserve you.”
“What? No…”
“No, you fucking hear me out.” He sat up, pulling out of her awkward embrace. His hair, still thick and dark with youth, was spiked up, hornlike, from his head. “She was right. I don’t deserve you. You should go out…. Get yourself another fucking man, one that’s not a loser. Leave me, Rachel.” His tone grew sarcastic, but he pressed his palm to his own chest, directing it to himself. “Save yourself.”
Rachel gasped. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying you should leave!”
“I won’t do that. I can’t do that.”
Jeff shook his head, and his chin dropped slowly. “You’re right. I’m sorry. Please, just… leave me alone. Go get yourself some breakfast, my love.”
Rachel reached for him, but he moved away. Breath escaped from her lips and she shook her head, but she obeyed. She stood, placing her feet on the carpet and shuffling out of the room as quietly as she could.