(Unknown)
an excerpt

The year was Nineteen Eighty-four. George Orwell sued, but his case was found to have no legal grounds, as he was dead. At precisely the same time, communism had a hold over the municipal government of San Jose. The government then declared itself a communist state independent of both California and the US. President Lincoln threatened the rebel city, but he was mocked with the immortal words "Na na na na na na." This was the final straw.

In the ensuing civil war, over 20 million Russians were killed, and Vladimir Lenin was thrust into total power. However, after Lenin was discovered to be dead, he was put into an airtight display case in the middle of city hall. Thus, Joseph Stalin was left in charge.

A loony, Stalin ordered George Orwell executed again and grew out his bushy mustache. He is now known as Sasquatch. But Sasquatch was still a dick. He was voted out of office in a fair, civil election, and lynched. Unfortunately, the new mayor elected was "Not Joseph Stalin", and so a huge power gap was created which the vice mayor was to fill. However, Stalin had executed everyone in the government.

Thus, without a clear leader, a number of parties emerged as potential ruling group. These parties debated viciously with the apparent goal of proving everyone else is a Nazi, thus making them the least of the evils. The Neo-Nazi Party also adopted this tactic, but it was quickly defeated.
...
And onto this political scene marched a generic corrupt asshat of a politician. He, much to his dismay, was unable to make things worse, so he decided to enter the business of tapestries. No one knows why. The best guess has been that he went absolutely curtains. Sadly, his carpet does not match the drapes.

And although this seems almost a repeat of a previous section, it, as you may have noticed, is not. For one, that section did not contain this paragraph. As Freud once said, "It's all in your head."