Leaper
an excerpt

Prologue
July 2006

“Let’s keep going.” Sophie declared although her voice wavered slightly. Wes and she are just five feet from the edge of the Diablo East cliff. Five feet too close to plummeting into the abyss.

Who knew what the bottom had in store for them?

“You sure?” Wes asked her. His smile gleamed with excitement. His face gleamed with gobs of sweat due to the Texas heat. The hot Del Rio sun pounded upon them with rays of fury and both were sweaty and exhausted. Still, Sophie had to take the plunge. Every heroine must die before her rebirth.

“Yeahhhh.” She nodded looking into his blue eyes. His eyes made her think of a black hole sucking up the white clouds and sun of a blue sky. She was getting sucked into them at this moment. A large smile crept upon her face as her topaz colored eyes glazed with newfound gumption. Wes saw the sun in her eyes and imagined that in a previous life Sophie had been a beautiful Aztec princess that had once roamed this dry Texas terrain.

Wes reached over and grasped her face between his two large, rough hands. He gave her a slow, hard kiss filled with his nervousness and love. She met his kiss with the same intensity. They are two lovers about to take the plunge. It would be their last kiss before they met the bottom.

Who knew what the bottom had in store for them? Maybe they would not survive.

Yet, this feat had to take place. This destiny was engraved upon Sophie’s soul a little over two years ago or maybe it had been engraved upon her soul since the fourth grade. Either way she had to take the plunge. Wes, whom she had just met six months ago in Paris, had prompted her to take the plunge. He is the one that had convinced her that she needed to shed her old skin and exchange it for a thicker skin. She needed more daring and action in her life. She needed to stop playing the victim looking for a hero like in her favorite song by Bonnie Tyler. Wes supported her in becoming her own heroine.

The consequences of this action did not matter. It was too late to chicken out. They are already here, just 5 feet away from the abyss. The sun’s rays pushing them towards the edge, daring them to take the plunge.

Sophie clutches Wes’s right large hand into her small left hand. They both raise them in the air towards their destiny. A silent Onward ho! sounding in their minds as they sprint towards the edge. Their hands still tightly clasped together as they leap into the air off the cliff of Diablo East.

Chapter 1
May 2004
San Antonio, Texas

9:04 a.m. Bing. Binggg. Binng. Sophie’s small hand fumbles with her alarm till she recognizes the button and Bing. Binggg. Binng. “Oh just shut up!” She finally finds the off button. Oh, God, please stop that pounding on my head. We both know that no matter how much you pound, you will never knock any sense into me. Her lazy lids start to slowly open up as if they were doing the last 100th sit- up. Then her amber eyes start to dilate and register the morning light. She imagines this is what it feels like to be a vampire until she realizes vampires do not exist. She then wonders why she makes crazy connections like these and if anyone else in the world thinks like her.

9:14 a.m. She begins to finally come out of her comatose state and realizes she just spent a good ten minutes contemplating the existence of vampires. Yes, she finally has her next Pulitzer Prize winning novel, The Sleeping Rituals of Vampires, if they exist. If all her random thoughts would focus she could probably complete a novel. She could probably write a million novels, but she was convinced her mind had to have Attention Deficit Disorder, because she often had trouble keeping it focused. Her mind acted like a hyperactive three year-old on Coca- cola running from thought to thought and losing interest too quickly on any particular one.

For a few seconds she stares at the white ceiling in her bedroom. She notices the millions of white tiny bumps on the ceiling, which her best friend Cat referred to as, “Ceiling acne.”
These days, Sophie slept flat on her back and therefore examining the ceiling was part of her morning ritual. She felt too warm and cozy under her maroon and beige plaid down comforter to want to get up, but a familiar cacophonous snoring that comes from the end of the bed urges her to move. She shifted up on her pillow and reclined her eyes towards her feet. There lies the culprit, her cute little fawn colored pug, Tom Foolery. What a clown? He is wearing a clear plastic cone around his head, which he has rested on one of the folds bunched around her right leg. The cone acts like a megaphone, and amplifies the sounds of his little snores. She neutered him last weekend. Poor Tom had to keep the cone around his head till his stitches healed. He senses her waking up and opens his tiny eyes a little, still snoring. He gives her a look of disdain. I’m so sorry Tom. I had to do it, lil buddy. Now you can be a playa. His mounds of wrinkles rest their great burden upon the cone. She reckons the cone is not the most comfortable sleeping gear.

9:25 a.m. She grabs her silver Motorola camera flip phone from the old wooden night stand next to her queen-sized bed. Then she takes a picture of Tom Foolery snoring. Click! He looks at her with his chocolate eyes, annoyed. He still does not move his chubby body or stop snoring.

Sophie saves the picture and finds the phone numbers of her two best friends, Annabelle Abbott and Catalina Castillo. She punches the keys to send them a text message first for the phone only allows her to send a picture with a subject or a text message. As she chuckles, she writes:

Hey tramps! What happened last nite? Woke up this mornin w/ a terrible hangover lyin next to a weirdo with a cone around his head who snores

She presses send. Then she reclines on her back again and smiles at the acne on the ceiling. After a few minutes, she hears the familiar message beep. She grabs her phone and reads Annabelle’s text:

What lady?!!! And why the hell are u wakin me up so early

Sophie imagines Annabelle’s jade green colored eyes growing huge with surprise. Sophie was the innocent one of the group and taking a man home was not something she was likely to do. That would probably be something Annabelle would do. In fact, Sophie would not be surprised if a man was warming Annabelle’s bed right now. Sophie sends Tom Foolery’s picture on her phone. A few minutes later she gets Cat’s text:

What eva hooker, I think you got a betta bargain than he did.

Sophie laughs. She knew Cat would respond with some sarcastic comment. After all, she was originally from New York and her humor usually had a sharp edge to it. Most people would have been offended by it, Sophie loved her for it.

By ten in the morning, Sophie made a serious effort to get moving before Tom did his business in the house. As she sits up on the bed, Tom pops up from her feet, suddenly alert. She is wearing baby blue cotton boxers and an oversized black t-shirt with the word Guinness printed on the front. She had stolen the t-shirt from her ex- boyfriend, Nick. He usually drank Guinness beer when she could afford to buy it for him.

Sophie eases her tiny feet into her size six pink fluffy slippers that she bought at Bed, Bath, and Beyond. The slippers were too girly for her, but extremely comfortable and shielded her feet from the cold bathroom tile. She walked into the small one sink bathroom that is connected to her bedroom. She has lived in this small one bedroom apartment for two years already. She hated the peach colored counter top in her bathroom and the white tile on the walls. She hated the pink floral border that surrounded the bathroom. All the colors clashed as well as the prints. However, she loved the huge mirror with the huge rounded Hollywood bulbs. The bulbs reminded her of the backstage of a famous talk show. Of course, she had never been to the backstage of a talk show before, but she has seen the set-up in thousands of movies and sitcoms. Sometimes when she applied make-up in this mirror, she fantasized that she was a prominent author preparing to talk to David Letterman. David Letterman would make some witty introduction and she would saunter onto the stage in a very sophisticated black Ralph Lauren business suit. The color had to be black to counter the ten pounds the camera would add to her. The audience would be filled with mostly people who had seen the movie based on her book. Some of her die hard fans would have actually read her New York bestseller. She would sit down in the brown chair facing David Letterman and they would crack jokes over the anecdotes she would tell about her numerous adventures around the world. However, Sophie’s grim reality told her she would not be such a young looking author at the rate she was going. She had yet to write anything publish- worthy and she had yet to travel outside of Texas. Focus. There her concentration went again.

Sophie turned on the cold water. She let the cold water stream on her upturned palms. She splashed the cold water on her face and looked into the mirror. “Why can’t I truly see me?” “Mirror, mirror on the wall who is this person?” She splashed her face again and is transfixed by the way the water contorts her features. Her eyebrows swim down, her face is paler than the rest of her honey colored complexion, and her nose appears more crooked than usually. She flicked out the sand that was crusted in the inside corner of her amber colored eyes. She liked her eyes, but wish she had golden green eyes like her best friend Annabelle. Her mother called her golden eyes, but Sophie thought they were yellowish brown like the color of her belated abuelita’s cigarette stained teeth. Sophie examines the dark bags under each of her eyes. Her long, thick black hair is tangled and oily. “Wow! I really should stop drinking!” she told the frightening image that faced her in the mirror. During this morning examination, Tom roamed around her legs, wagging his curly tail and tried to discover what troubled he could get into. Sophie usually had to pull out something from his throat. She marveled at how he hardly ate any of his dog food but he devoured stuff like leaves, soap pieces, deodorant pieces, hair, dirty socks, and so forth. If she had been a dog she would have definitely gone for the dog food.

Sophie grabbed her teal- colored toothbrush and scrubbed her straight white teeth. She was glad she had inherited her mother’s beautiful smile. She was always complemented on her smile. In fact, she was convinced that was the only way she got noticed.

After washing her face and brushing her teeth, Sophie puts on a pair of gray draw-string jogging shorts and throws on a blue sports bra and a pink tank- top. After that, she grabs Tom Foolery’s leash and collar and shakes it. Tom Foolery rushes to her and obediently sits by her leg. She puts on his black harness and then walks him through the living room out the front door to the park which is a block away from her apartment. She lives in one of the prettier parts of Austin, Barton Creek. She loves the beautiful trees that surround the park, because they provide shade from the brutal Texas sun. Austin is so pet and environmentally friendly. All over this particular park there are Mutt Mitt boxes. This is a white square metal box that provided her with a plastic disposable glove to pick up Tom Foolery’s business. After she picked up his mess, she opened the top lid and dumps the glove and all. During the process, Sophie tries to breathe with her mouth and not through her nose.

During her and Tom’s jog, Sophie thinks about the fun she had last night with her two best friends. They went bar hopping on 6th street to celebrate Sophie’s graduation from the University of Texas in Austin. They had traveled from San Antonio, the place where they had all met several years ago in the fourth grade. Sophie, who had been a cocktail waitress for one of the busiest bars around 6th Street was able to get them the hook up. They had so much fun flirting with different guys and dancing with each other. She was so lucky to have them as friends. She almost could not believe that their friendship had lasted for this long. She imagined that some day they would get married and have families. Maybe they would have barbecues at each other’s houses and swap stories with their children about all the trouble they used to get in. Well Annabelle and Cat could tell stories. Sophie was the more sensible and responsible one in the group. She never did anything remotely adventurous, but someday she always told herself she would be daring. She had tried to convince Annabelle and Cat to stay over at her place but Cat had a boyfriend named Charlie that also lived in Austin. Charlie, was also a talented musician like Cat, and he lived in a four bedroom house with two other male roommates. They had an extra guest bedroom that Annabelle could sleep in. Charlie wanted to make sure Cat got to him in one piece. He knew how much she drank.

Sophie met Annabelle and Cat later at the Hula Hut on Lake Austin. They were planning a nice meal and a few drinks. Then they would head off to the Hippy Hollow to swim in the springs. The beauty of the place took your breath away and it was easy to forget that many gay or nude old men surrounded the area. The water was cold.

Chapter 2
Austin, Texas

It’s a good day to be alive, Sophie thought as she woke up. She was laying on her right side. Her back faced her ex-boyfriend, Nick. Nick had recently made his way back into her life. He is holding her curvaceous naked body in the folds of his thin body. His strong hands rested under her breasts. She feels euphoric. She knows she will deal with hell from Annabelle and Cat. At this thought, her abdomen begins to ache as if her insides were grinding together. Her two best friends had accused Nick of being a lazy cheat who would never mature into a respectable man. Well, he had cheated on her numerous times. There was that tiny cocaine habit he had. Oh, what the hell, who was perfect? Plus, Nick was deeply suffering and needed her more than ever, she convinced herself. They had just been to Paris, Texas to bury his stepfather, Henry. He needed her. He would change now. Death surely had a way of making someone grow up. Her father’s death when she was young made her older brother Diego mature pretty quickly.

Sophie looked at the time, 9:01 a.m. She had better get up and check her cell phone messages. Her two best friends knew she would be gone this weekend at Nick’s stepdad’s funeral. They warned her about sleeping with him. She recalled their conversation on Friday.

“Don’t ya do it, kiddo!” Cat admonished.

“I have to, Cat. He doesn’t have a car and I owe it to his family. They were really nice to me when we were together.” Sophie told her.

“Well, then don’t sleep with him! We know how you’ll want to take care of him, but then you’ll be back together. You know how long it took you to get over him.” Annabelle said.

“Please, don’t sleep with him.” They had both warned.

“I swear I won’t and it’s only for this weekend, anyways. I will be home Sunday and everything will be fine. I’m not getting back with, Nick, ok!” Sophie had defensively retorted, but that was then and this was now.

Sophie knew they weren’t going to be happy at all with the news about Nick and her. She turned on her cell phone. On the screen, she read the words, Hello, beautiful! “Hello phone!” She whispered. She smiled as she recalled how surprise she was when she had first seen the message. Later, Cat had admitted to her that she had programmed the message into her phone one night when she was in the lady’s room. This had been after her last break up with Nick. Cat told her that every woman needed to be daily reminded how beautiful she was. Sophie had been so touched that she turned this into a daily ritual to look at the message. Then the screen showed her the date, Sunday, November 14th, 2004. Then she saw the little message box appear on her phone.

She called her voice mail, “29 messages. Mail box full. Press 1 to listen to your messages.” The operator voice told her. Her stomach muscles began to grind again. Wow! They must be really pissed at her. They probably had guessed she would be in Nick’s arms right now.

The operator voice continued, “Friday, November 12th, 1:55 a.m. message from 2103234444”

“Sophie, we are sorry. You’ll know when you go through the memory box.” Annabelle’s voice said.
“Yeah, Sophie, we love you.” Cat barely whispered. Sophie can tell both were crying. She was confused. Why would her sleeping with Nick make them this upset? She pressed 9 to save the message. She continued listening to her other twenty- eight messages.

“Sophia, this is mom, please call me!”
“Sophie. It’s Diego, something has happened. Call mom!”
“Sophia, please call your mother. It’s Ronnie, your stepfather.”
“Sophie, this is Gary. Please call work as soon as possible. I need you to work a double shift on Sunday if you are back in town.”

And the horrifying messages continued. She deleted them one by one.

No more messages from Annabelle. No more messages from Cat. Why were they crying? She feels a haunting dread within her stomach.

“Sophie, this is Charles, Cat’s boyfriend.” Sniffle. “I’m so sorry.” Sniffle. “I just heard. It’s awful.” Weeping. “I don’t know how this could’ve happened!” More weeping. “How could they have just jumped?” Sophie dropped the phone. Her face registered the suspended shocked look of a Jack-o-Lantern, whose insides had been carved out.

She slowly walked to the bathroom connected to her bedroom. Tom Foolery jumps off the bed and follows her. In a sudden rage, she claws at the ugly peach countertop that she hates so much. Angry sobs pelt her eyes. She doesn’t recognize herself in the mirror and decides she can no longer bear to even glance at her disheveled image. She slides her naked body on the cold tile floor. She put herself in fetal position, holds her knees, and begins to rock herself. Tom Foolery barks at her. When she doesn’t give him any attention, he decides to recline his body unto her thick black hair. She hysterically sobbed and wailed. Snot ran down her nose and got into her hair. She doesn’t give a damn. The world is not right anymore. The world is not right anymore.

***********

Nick woke up and noticed that Sophie was not next to him anymore. He was such a deep sleeper and had not woken up before two in the afternoon in a long time. That’s what a life of partying every night did to you. He smiled. We are back together. Good, we are good together.

“Sophie!” He called knowing she was probably in the bathroom showering. No answer. He thought he heard her moaning. Maybe she has cramps. Maybe she was grumbling about something Tom Foolery did. He heard a weird operator voice from somewhere. Man, these walls are too thin. The moaning doesn’t stop. The operator voice sounds too near but he can’t make out what it is saying. Maybe he is still dreaming.

“Hey Soph, you ok in there?” He asked, still in bed. Tom Foolery barked. Nick decided to get his lazy ass out of bed to brush his teeth. Maybe him and Sophie can watch a movie or go to one of Austin’s beautiful parks? He rolled his lanky body towards Sophie’s side of the bed. He sat up and pulled his long lanky legs over the bed. Damn! His foot stepped on something. He looked. It was Sophie’s phone. Weird, she must have knocked it over accidentally. He shut the phone and placed it back on the night stand. Then he walked over to the bathroom and finds Sophie stretched out on the cold tile floor. She was shaking and weeping and moaning. Tom Foolery is roosting on her tangled hair.

“Oh my God, Sophie, what happened?” He asked as he kneels down to lift her up. She looked like an abused child.

“They… they… they… jumped.” Sophie stuttered. Her tears have made her topaz colored eyes swollen and red. Her tears had imprinted bloody footsteps down her dark brown cheeks. The skin around her lips was red. She reminded him of one of those crying banshees. He had seen a drawing of one once on a book cover.

“Who jumped, baby?” Nick asked. Now he is worried. He has never seen Sophie this bad off and him not the cause of it.

“Ann, Ann, Annabelle, my beautiful Annabelle and and Cat, my beautiful Cat.” She stuttered again, still sobbing.

“Really? Sorry, baby. Sorry, baby.” Nick retorted as he wrapped his arms around her tightly. He feels for her, the pain of death still new lingering in him. Damn! They sure picked a great weekend to do this to her.

Chapter 3

It was a dreary Saturday morning in November. San Antonio Police Department Officer Henry Barboza had just arrived at the downtown parking garage. He had been here before on robbery, assault, and vagrancy calls. However, in his fifteen years at the SAPD, he had never had to take a witness statement like this. The time was 9:32 a.m. and he reflected that the day was Saturday the thirteenth. As an officer, you learn pretty quickly that your bad luck can fall on any day of the week. The girl that stood in front of him was shaking and crying. However, she was not hysterical and looked as if she were still suffering from shock. He figured that she was a little over the age of twenty-one. She wore a hot mango short sleeved polo with the restaurant logo and some black pants. He noticed the familiar logo of one of the River Walk restaurants that catered to the upscale tourists.

“Miss Espinosa, I just need to ask you a few routine questions.” He assured her as he took out the clipboard with the incident report he had to fill out. His voice was full of concern as if he was handling a wounded creature. “What time did you arrive to the parking garage?

“Around 9:00 a.m. I remember because I was supposed to be at work at 9:00 but I was running late.” Tracy Espinosa explained. Officer Barboza

“They just ran and leaped off the building. They were holding hands.” Tracy Espinosa nervously told the officer. She wished she had not been running late this morning. If she had not been running late, then she would have found metered parking and walked to work. She would not have parked at this downtown garage, because it costs too much. She would not have parked on the ninth floor. She wished she would have woken up on time instead of partying late last night. Then she would not be here. Then she would not have witnessed what will forever be engraved into her nightmares.

“Did you see anybody else behind them or around them?” Officer Henry Barboza asked. He hated dealing with these unnecessary cases, a double suicide, two young female jumpers. He had two daughters at home. He empathized for Tracy. He had witnessed death several times and it was never pretty. It had a way of aging you beyond your years.

“No, like I said I was running late to work. Oh! I just wish I had been on time…I wish I ….” Tracy started crying again. She realized she will never be the same. Death has become too real. She has touched it and yelled at it but still she could not stop it.

“I’m sorry Miss Espinosa. I know this must be hard for you. Here’s the card of a free counselor, Susan Davis, who works with us.” He gave her a card. He knows soon the grief counselor will be here to talk to the girl.

Tracy wiped the tears from her dark brown eyes and gave the officer a pleading look. “I tried to stop them! I tried! I tried! I yelled at them, hey. That’s all I could say was hey. Maybe if I would have said something else. Maybe if I would have…”

“Tracy, may I call you that? Understand me. There is nothing you could’ve done. Nothing! Sometimes people do crazy things. Sometimes they just want to end their lives and they just can’t take it anymore. This is not your fault, sweety.” Officer Barboza assuages Tracy the best he can. He is relieved when from the corner of his eye he sees Susan Davis walking his way. He knows she will take good care of the girl. “Now, talk with the counselor. She is very good and will call your boss for you. Thank you for your help.” Officer Barboza handed Tracy over to the tall African American woman. He can tell by the look in Susan’s eyes that she has already been breached about the case. “Susan Davis, this is Tracy Espinosa. She has been very helpful.”

Officer Barboza walked toward the elevator and headed to the ground floor level of the garage. He had to interview three more witnesses. All were at the bakery and restaurant located at the base of the parking garage. He can’t imagine the horror of having your breakfast interrupted by the thudding of two bodies slamming against the sidewalk in front of you. He is sure some blood must have splattered on the open windows of the restaurant. They would probably have to close the bakery and open it up again with a new name a few months later. He thinks, This is a damn thing. With all the violence in the world, this is a damn unnecessary thing.

Chapter 4

The sun spies into Sophie’s white blinds on this hot July afternoon in San Antonio. It has been about eight months since Annabelle and Cat leaped off that downtown parking garage. Sophie had moved from her Austin apartment and moved into her old room at her mother and stepfather’s house. She had another ugly nightmare. This time she had been splashing her face only to see the two apparitions of her best friends. They were screaming at her, “Why didn’t you stop us? Why didn’t you stop us?” She wiped away the tears that were way too familiar. It has almost been a year since that awful November weekend when her two best friends jumped off a downtown parking garage on an early Saturday morning. She still had the small newspaper clipping from the Metro section of the local newspaper. All her two best friends got was a small blurb. That’s it. Sophie still remembered the way the reporter euphemized the tragedy: Two girls, 23, die after nine-story fall.
She was still getting over the tragedy. So far in the last eight months she had tried Nick, alcohol, and even cocaine. Nick suggested it, promising the drug would numb her. However, she quickly realized that no matter how catatonic she became, the pain would not die. Therefore, she decided to deal with the pain instead and permanently stop dating Nick.
She had started attending the support group, Survivors of Loved Ones Suicide (SOLOS) and she had also attended bipolar support groups. Two years before the accident, Annabelle had been diagnosed as being bipolar and having social anxiety disorder. The support groups were helping her get emotionally stronger. She had even taken Charlie, Cat’s boyfriend, to a meeting. The result of all the therapy was that she was starting to become stronger emotionally.
Sophie kisses Tom Foolery on the top of his wrinkled head. He licks her chin. She forces a smile.
“Yup, kiddo, time to face another day.” She loves her fawn colored furry friend. She knows one day he will leave her, too, but she will deal with that when it comes. That is what Cat’s mother had advised.
Linda Castillo had told her during the funeral, “Deal with life one breath at a time until you can deal with it one hour by hour. Eventually, you’ll work up to one day at a time. Just remember life continues. It has to continue.”
Tom Foolery jumps off the bed. His curled tail signaled that he was ready for his walk. He looked up at Sophie with his chocolate brown eyes and snaggle tooth. Sophie laughed. The snaggle tooth always made her chuckle. Sophie thanked God for him every day. Her little pug son is what made her want to continue life after the two suicides.
As Sophie walked out of her room towards the bathroom in the hallway she eyes the antique wooden oak chest leaning against the wall. Mrs. Castillo had given her the key to the memory box at the funeral along with a sealed envelope that said in red marker Read me first. She still had to open the letter and go through the contents of the memory box. This is what Cat and Annabelle’s voice mail had said. You’ll know when you go through the memory box. She smiles a little when she recalls how the memory box came into being. It was all Cat’s idea to begin with.
***********

Finally, the weekend came when all the girls gathered together over at Cat’s suburban house. It was October 11, 1991 and the San Antonio heat was brutal. Cat’s house was much smaller than Annabelle’s house, but still it was a very nice house and surrounded by several other houses that looked almost like Cat’s house. Cat told Sophie and Annabelle that many of the other students at Lady Bird Elementary, also, lived around her neighborhood. What she liked the most, though, was that there was a neighborhood pool that was cheap to go to if you were a member.
Cat had her own room, since she was the oldest child. Cat had two little twin brothers that were really cute. One’s name was Josh and the other Jacob. They were very rowdy and one of them tugged on Sophie’s jeans, asking, “Will you play dinosaurs with me?”
Cat dragged Sophie’s arm away and told him, “Josh, Sophie’s busy right now. Mom made cookies. Go play with Jacob!”
At the mention of cookies, both boys jumped up and down, doing their best Cookie monster voice, “Cookie! Cookie! Me loves cookies!”
Then she drags Annabelle and Sophie out to the kitchen where Mrs. Castillo is putting freshly baked chocolate chip cookies on the table. The boys follow them into the kitchen. Everyone sits at the table and grabs a cookie. After awhile of munching, Josh, turns to Sophie and gives her one of his cookies saying in his best cookie monster voice, “Sometimes me think what is love, and then me think love is what last cookie is for. Me give up the last cookie for you."
This makes Sophie smile really big and she takes the cookie and says, “Thank you cookie monster.”
Then she breaks off a piece of the cookie and says, “But, I think we should share.” And Josh smiles and says, “Good, because me love cookies!” Then he gobbles the chocolate chip cookie up leaving a few crumbs on his mouth and on the floor and then runs off with Jacob into the living room. Mrs. Castillo, Cat’s mother, just shakes her head as if they are going to drive her crazy.
After the cookies are gone, Annabelle impatiently tugs at Cat’s arm and says, “Come on, Cat, we’ve been waiting for this surprise all month. Please tell us what it is!”
Sophie has to admit that she had been feeling pretty impatient as well. Cat gives them a mysterious smile as she gets up from the table and grabs each of their hands. She leads them out the kitchen door into the yard. It is a pretty yard, but much smaller than Annabelle’s yard. The yard has many beautiful Texas oak trees and a nice swing set with a sandbox, which impresses Sophie. Still, though, she cannot phantom what would actually beat a Japanese pond like at Annabelle’s house. Annabelle’s parents are really rich and her yard is humongous. Annabelle is not showing too much excitement either until Cat points up to one of her large oak trees. In the midst of the large oak tree, about 10 feet up, is this lighter brown wooden square house. On the other side of the tree are twelve wooden planks nailed on the bark. These wooden planks lead to the tree house. The tree house is situated between four sturdy branches in the oak tree. On one of the branches is a long rope with knots to climb up the tree house. On one of the other branches is a tire swing. The outside walls are made up of unmilled, splintered wood.
Sophie is completely amazed. She has never seen such a structure in her whole life. In Del Rio, her hometown, none of the kids she played with ever owned a tree house. She had never even heard of one except for in the books she had read. Although, she always imagined what one would look like. Cat starts to climb up the wooden planks. Annabelle and Sophie follow. Sophie can feel the cool October breeze on her exposed hands as she climbs up the tree. When she finally reaches the entrance of the tree house, she is a little tired from the climb. However, once inside the tree house, she soon forgets about her weariness and her curiosity kicks in. First, she looks at the walls which are smooth, unlike the outside of the tree house. She notices that the walls are a lighter shade of brown than the outside walls. They almost seem yellow.
“So how big is this thing, Cat?” Annabelle asks.
“My dad says the floor is about seven feet wide and the roof is about nine feet tall.” Cat replies.
Sophie looks up at the pointed roof and notices silver shingles hanging from the rooftop. On the right wall is only one large window with a thick plaid cloth open to let light in. On the left wall, there are two wooden trunks that rest side by side.
“What’s in those trunks?” Sophie asks.
Cat explains, “My mom filled one trunk with pillows, blankets, flashlights, snacks, paper, pens, and other goodies for any time we spend the night in here.” Sophie looks at the other trunk which is more interesting. The second trunk is a little smaller and antique looking. It resembles an old pirate’s treasure chest. It is made of dark oak that has lightened and cracked a little. The dark oak is covered in strips by rusted metal inlaid with intricate designs. It has two rusted metal latches on the front of the trunk. In between these latches is a key hole. In the key hole is this large, antique brass key.
Cat explains, “This use to be my mother’s memory box when she was little. She used to keep old writings and letters in it. Also, she kept her photographs in it. When I was in the second grade, though, she gave it to me as a birthday present.”
Cat pauses, giving Annabelle and Sophie shiny eyes. Then she continues, “I have another idea for it, though.”
She points to the right side of the trunk, which has a rectangle slit through it. The slit is a little over a foot wide and an inch thick. Wrapped around the edges of the slit, is duct tape. Cat turns the key in the key hole to the right. After a few seconds there is a Click! Then she takes out the large, brass key from the key hole and says, “I told my mother my idea already and she has promised to keep the key in a special place. I was thinking that this could be our memory box. We could keep writings, letters, and photographs of each other in this box. Then when we are older we can look at them like my mother used to do. ”
After a few seconds of silence, Annabelle replies. “That’s a great idea, Cat, but I think we should all have to put something in the memory box at least once a week.”
“And we should be able to add anything we want like mementos we get from places we travel to together.” Sophie adds.
“Yeah, but we should write the date and our name on the item that goes in the box. “ Cat responds.
“Hey wait! Let me write these rules down.” Sophie suggests while walking to the other chest and digging through the pillows and blankets to find something to write with and on. After five minutes, she finally finds some markers and construction paper. In her best hand writing she writes at the top of a piece of tan construction paper Memory Box Rules in navy blue marker. Then she writes the first rule, Everyone must put something in the memory box at least once a week. Rule number two is, You must write your name and date on the item. Cat and Annabelle are looking over her shoulders by now.
“Yeah and we shouldn’t be able to open the box until after we graduate from high school.” Cat continues.
“No! Not until one of us dies.” Annabelle commands, looking at both of us with those daring green eyes of hers. When she has that look no one can deny her demands.
“Okay.” Cat agrees after a few minutes. Then Sophie writes rule number three, No one can open the memory box until one of us dies.
After Sophie finishes writing out the rules, Annabelle grabs the other markers and begins drawing beautiful flowers and intricate designs like the ones on the treasure chest, all over the border of the paper. As she works on her masterpiece, Cat and Sophie take out the blankets and pillows and set them out for another night full of secrets, stories, and gossip. Before the night is over each of the girls decides to write a few secrets down on some of the construction sheets of paper. They make sure to sign their names and the date on the back of the papers. Then each of the girls slips her paper into the dark open mouth of the memory box.
Chapter 5

The smell of corn tortillas, scrambled eggs, chorizo, and coffee comes from the kitchen of Maria Santos Drummond. She had opened a window in order to let the kitchen smoke air out. She hated when her cooking set off the smoke alarms. Unfortunately, she had to let in some of the July Texas heat. She jokingly thought that her kitchen was probably cooler than outside.
“Good morning, mi Niña!” Maria told her grown daughter. She was happy to see her twenty- three year- old daughter in the house again. Maria remembered how lonely she felt for awhile after her youngest had left the house. That was in July 2000 when Sophia had graduated from high school and had left to attend the University of Texas at Austin, where she had received grant money and scholarships. Maria was thankful that she had married her husband, Ronnie, in 1998. That is when they had moved into this house. It had been Sophia’s senior year. Before that, they had lived in a three bedroom apartment for five years, and before that they had lived in a two bedroom apartment. Maria had been a single mom struggling to feed her two children. Her husband, God rest his soul, had passed away when the children had been very small. That was when they lived in Del Rio. That was ages ago.
“Good morning, mama. Breakfast smells good.” Sophia walks over to her tiny mother in the kitchen and gives her a kiss on the top of her head. “I’m going to walk Tom and then I will be back. Is Ronnie up, yet?”
“Not yet, Sophia, he likes to sleep in on Saturdays when he can. I’m just glad he has the weekend off. You know how they work him so hard at the post office.” Maria is thankful to see her daughter has gained back some weight. Maria was happy to see some color in the girls face again. For awhile, she thought her daughter would never smile again. She knew that the deaths of Catalina Castillo and Annabelle Abbott had really depressed her. Maria could still not believe that the two girls who were Sophia’s best friends since the fourth grade had jumped off of a building. ¡Dios mío! What could have possessed those girls? Their poor, poor parents. Parents should never have to outlive their children. Maria turns away from the stove for a second to give her daughter a kiss on the cheek. Then she looks down at the chubby little pug next to Sophia’s feet, which was busy looking for some food crumbs in the kitchen.
“Now, Tom, none of your antics today on your walk. You hear me!” Maria sternly tells the dog, while wiggling a strict finger to him. The dog looks up at her with his chocolate eyes for just a second before he goes back to his scrounging.
“Ok, tiny Grandma.” Sophia says in the Tom Foolery voice she had made up a long time ago when she had gotten him. Her mother laughed. This was a joke they often shared. Tom always called her little grandma.
Maria tells her, “Okay, you and Tom enjoy your walk. When you get back, breakfast will be ready.”
Maria glances at Sophia as she walks out of the kitchen with Tom by her side. Then Maria turns back to the stove and checks on her refried beans. Maria says a little prayer for them. Dios, por favor, let my daughter have joy again. Please give her the strength you gave me when I lost her father. Please give her the will to begin again like you once gave me. Then Maria reminisces about when she was a young single mom with two children to feed.
***********
The Del Rio heat literally cooked your skin, especially during the summer months. “Andale, mis amorcitos! Let’s keep going!” Maria Santos yelled in a thick Latino accent to her two children as they schlepped to the car with grocery bags in each of their hands. “Estoy freindo en este calor!”
“Mama, you are not the only one frying in this heat. We are all stinky and sweaty.” Eight-year old Sophia huffed as she got into the front passenger seat of their baby blue 1979 Ford Fairmont station wagon. The car was nearly twenty years old now for the year was 1991.
“Yeah, ma! We are all burning out here!” Eleven year-old Diego complained as he settled into the back of the wagon and burned himself on the hot vinyl seat. “Ay this seat is muy caliente!”
They were leaving the HEB in Del Rio and driving to San Antonio, Texas today. The drive would take them about 3- and - a- half hours. Maria was taking them to embark upon a new, better life in San Antonio. Three years earlier, their father, Diego Sr., had passed away in an automobile accident. He had been working overnight as usual in the factory. On his way home, he had fallen asleep on the wheel and crashed his old brown Ford pick-up. Sophia had only been five years- old and Diego had only been eight years- old. Good thing Maria’s mother-in-law, Josephina, was living with them at the time, because Maria needed someone to watch the kids while she found a job. Maria had been a housewife and had never worked before. Plus, her English at the time had not been very good. However, she was lucky enough to get a job waitressing at a popular Mexican restaurant, Memo’s Mexican Restaurant. She never wanted to have a language problem again in case she lost her job or something happened to the children. Therefore, she checked out books from the library and forced herself to learn English. Diego, who was very smart in school, would tutor her and bring his textbooks home for her to read. She was glad she learned to speak, read, and write in English, because just the previous year her mother-in-law had passed away. Without anyone available to watch the kids, she needed to find another means to support them and be at home. She worried about leaving them alone in the small shack they rented. It was in a very bad neighborhood.
Her best friend, Delia Ramos, had told her about the job opportunities that awaited young Latino women in San Antonio, especially those who spoke both Spanish and English. When an apartment had opened up in Delia’s complex, Maria had seen it as a sign from La Virgin de Guadalupe, whom she had been praying to daily to get them out of their poverty. She had sold all their furniture and all of her late mother- in- law’s jewelry. She had also saved some money from her waitress job. Even after all of this she only had $1421 hiding in one of her socks in one of the bags marked Very Important with masking tape and a $50 stuffed in her bra for gas and other expenses on the trip. This should be enough money to get them to San Antonio, pay the landlord his deposit, and pay the first month’s rent. She would then have about two weeks to find a job. It was a risk Delia promised was well worth taking. Delia had even offered to babysit for free until Maria had found steady work.
Delia had always sounded happy on the phone. Delia’s husband and three girls had been living in San Antonio for the last twenty years. The Ramos’ were not rich, but they definitely were not near hunger and destitution like Maria was. She just needed one thing to go wrong like one of the kids to break an arm or get a concussion and then they would be out on the streets. In Texas, a person could not be homeless. Too many had already died from heat strokes and dehydration.
Early that morning, Maria had Sophia and Diego pack all of their belongings and appliances in trash bags and put them in the cargo area of the station wagon. They had made a quick stop to HEB to buy some generic brand snacks and sodas for the road. “Did y’all pee already?” Maria asked the children. Already she was behind the wheel and ready to get moving.
“Yessss, Mama.” They both whined. Maria pulled out of the HEB parking lot and silently said a little prayer to La Virgin de Guadalupe to keep them safe as she heads onto Highway 90 South to San Antonio.
Sophia looked out the window as her mother drove down the highway. All their windows are rolled down since their air conditioning stopped working long ago, probably before she was even born. The Del Rio heat engulfed her and made her sleepy, but she stayed awake by singing with her mother their favorite Selena y Los Dinos’ song Baila Esta Cumbia.
“Baila, baila esta cumbia,” both sang aloud. “Un ritmo, ritmo sin igual. Nadie se quede sentado. Todos vamos a bailar!” Then they both moved their arms and as if they were dancing the cumbia. And they both laughed. In Del Rio, most of the radio stations only played Tejano or country music.
When the song ended, Sophia began to get sleepy again under the intense heat. As she looked out the window she noticed the heat rising from the earth and she imagined she was looking at the world through a funhouse mirror. The vinyl seat sticks to her thighs in this heat. She hopes that their apartment in San Antonio will have air conditioning.

“Mama, will it be cooler in San Antonio or will it still be still so hot?” Sophia asked.

“Well, mi niña , Delia says it will be just a little bit cooler.” Maria replied.

“Oh, okay.” Sophia said and then went back to daydreaming. She could hear her brother snoring in the back seat. She doesn’t blame him for napping. It was a boring drive to San Antonio. There were only ranches and fields that lead to San Antonio. There was nothing colorful or cool to feast your eyes upon except for the different colors of the cows. So far she saw brown cows, white cows, black cows, and cows with long horns. She also saw some horses and that was pretty cool. She imagined riding one some day, but she knew that if they couldn’t afford air- conditioning, then they surely couldn’t afford a horse. She also saw a dead skunk and smelt it, too. That was yucky.

Sophia’s thoughts soon drifted to her papa. When she was lost in her thoughts, she often thought about him. He was a pretty cool papa. She remembered how he used to take her and Diego for drives up to Lake Amistad. Diego and she would relax on their bellies in the back of the cargo area of the ugly blue station wagon, while their papa, Diego Sr., swerved from side to side. It was so much fun. And then they would all camp out and look at the sunsets on the lake. Sometimes her papa would bring cardboard boxes and they would find a hill and slide down it. Vaya con Dios papa, are her last thoughts before she the sun’s rays put her to sleep.

Chapter 6

After breakfast, Sophie and Tom go back upstairs to her room. She is sticky and sweaty from their walk, so she took a shower. Half- an- hour later, she finishes her shower and walked down the narrow hallway that leads to her bedroom. She fell back onto the queen-sized bed. Tom Foolery is at her feet. She can feel him licking her wet toes and the Cocoa butter lotion she had just applied to her body. “No, Tom, cut it out!” She scolded him. Her long wet hair begins to fall out of the white towel she wrapped around it. She felt a few droplets wet her forehead. Get up, Sophia Maria Santos! Sophie is desperately trying to will herself to open the letter and go through the memory box. It has almost been eight months. You’ll know when you go through the memory box. She recalled the voice mail message, again. She thinks, I need to stop being afraid. It is time for me to find some answers, even if they are not the ones I want. So what if it’s my fault? If I didn’t love them enough and they blame me well then I will deal with it. But, it’s time to know. It’s time to see if my life ends or begins. Sophie rises from the bed and walks over to the old wooden chest. She picks up the letter and tears the top open with her finger. Inside is one handwritten letter. It is written in blue pen and she notices that some of the words have smeared a little. However, the letter is still legible.
Sweet Sophie,
Right now you are probably asking us why? And no matter what we write or the memories we leave you in the memory box you will never understand entirely.
So let us put it this way…. Remember when we were in the eight grade and we fell in love with Thelma and Louise. Louise sees how rotten Thelma’s life is with her husband who treats her like shit. Louise is smart enough to notice that Thelma isn’t living her own life. She is living her husband’s life. She doesn’t even make her own choices. And Sophie that is what life is all about. God gave Adam and Eve the ability to choose, even if they made bad choices and they did.
Thelma doesn’t choose to turn back in the end not because the cops will get them. She chooses to keep going because she realizes that she cannot live another person’s life anymore. She has to choose to live her own life even if she is too scared too. With Louise by her side, though, she knows she can conquer the fear and risk it all. Is it better to live a long time and regret your life? Or Is it better to die young and be at peace with yourself? Louise loves her soul mate, her best friend, so much that she supports Thelma’s decision to keep going! Remember how Louise grabbed Thelma’s face and kissed her with tears in her eyes? Then they hold hands as Louise guns the engine of the baby blue Thunderbird and they drive off the cliff together. Louise wants Thelma to die happy, never regretting her life.
When you make risky decisions, Sophie, you will sometimes get into a heap of trouble. Jumping off of cliffs hurts and you may not survive. But nothing can prepare you for the euphoria you feel when you take that leap. It’s scary, Sophie. We are scared, even though our lives have involved some pretty serious jumps and falls. Fear and complacency can’t keep you from living life, though. Stop being Thelma, Sophie. Stop living vicariously through us. Take your own risks. We love you and we are your Louise saying that we love you enough to take that dive in order to push you to the edge.
Since the fourth grade, we have all shared our lives together. We were the daring ones and you were always the innocent, grounded one. When we did something daring and outrageous, we saw the glitter in your eye as if you were breathing and living. When we were young, we accepted this because sometimes when we jumped too far, you were the holy water that would accept us back, without question. Then you would smack us back into reality.
When we got older, though, time and time again we witnessed your fear prevent you from living your life. You could have gone to Harvard, Sophie, but you stayed because you didn’t want to leave us or be too far from your family. You could have taken a year off of school to travel, but you were afraid of losing your scholarship. You could have published your own magazine, but instead you chose to teach. Yes, you are a great teacher, but Sophie before you decide that you have your life planned out for you already, do us a favor and take a giant leap off the edge.
We know that you are in unspeakable pain. Sophie, love, we have lived our lives. We have taken chances and had adventures that people could never boast of their entire lives. We have loved and lost. We have shaken the world and made our cracks in it. We have lived our lives. We have risked. We have loved. We have traveled. Now as our last dying wish we want to liberate you. Our hearts and souls are combined forever. We will be holding your hand.
Sorry Sophie. We love you, always, soul mate. Please, go live your life.
Annabelle & Cat
P.S. In the box is another envelope, it has our wills. Take it to my dad and he’ll know what to do with it. We have left you enough money to live your life. Spend it recklessly, please.
Sophie finishes the letter in shock and anger. Well you all would be happy to know I dumped Nick! She wants to throw the letter. Instead she shakes it to the air and screams, “Damn you both. If you wanted me to live my life then you should have shaken me and screamed at me! This isn’t living. I hurt and pray to die every day. I don’t live in fear, I live in pain. Pain you both have never felt. Why? Why? Why didn’t you just tell me?” Sophie puts the letter back onto the chest and sits on the floor next to the chest. Her legs are folded like half a pretzel. Her hair is in her face. She pulls at her hair as she rocks herself. Tom Foolery lounges by her side in case she needs him. This continues for about an hour. Finally, Sophie stops clutching her hair and crying. She decides she has to open the memory box. She has to at least give the will to Annabelle’s dad, Fred Abbott. It could be important. Sophie places the letter on the floor and grabs the brass key from above the oak chest. She places it in the key hole. She turns the key to the left and hears a Click! She takes both hands and lifts open the top. It sticks a little, so she pulls at it. When it finally pops open, the wooden chest exhales a deep breath of dust, it had been holding for over fifteen years. All this time she was afraid it would be a Pandora’s box, but she now realizes she is giving the old wooden chest life. She is liberating its soul and secrets.
Sophie looks inside and sees a large manila mailing envelope. Scribbled in red marker is the word Will. She picks up the envelope, but does not dare open it. She has already decided to give the envelope to Mr. Abbott. If Cat and Annabelle left her anything then he had a right to decide if she got it or not.
Numerous mementos, notes, and photographs fill the soul of the chest. How will she ever get through all this? What should she choose as her first memory? Sophie fishes through the chest and finds a purple Maxell CD-R disk in a case. Although there is no date, written in black permanent marker are the words, Songs to Live By from Cat. Sophie puts the CD in her CD player and the first song she hears is Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls.
She listens to the familiar lyrics and begins to sing along, “And I don't want the world to see me cause I don't think that they'd understand when everything's made to be broken I just want you to know who I am.” Sophie wonders if that is how Annabelle and Cat felt when the jumped. Did they think that the world did not see them? Was the memory box their way of showing Sophie who they really were? Sophie know intently listens to the rest of the lyrics of the song, “And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming or the moment of truth in your lies when everything seems like the movies yeah you bleed just to know you’re alive.” Is that the way they felt; as if they had to jump to know they were alive? Sophie knew that Annabelle had desperately searched for ways to make her art to change the world. No painting or sculpture was ever good enough to her, even though parents, teachers, and students often gave her kudos on her art. This was the same with Cat. Cat wanted her music to change the world. Everyone loved her music but she wanted to sour with her music. Sophie was always content to just write. She never had much in life to begin with. She was the poorest of the three girls and she had learned a long time ago to be thankful for what you have. Sophie did not want to change the world with her writing. She hardly even showed her writing to others. Sophie just liked to express her thoughts. Annabelle and Cat had often hassled her to enter writing contests or sign- up for poetry readings. She never did, though.
While listening to the CD, she fishes around for something to read. She wants something funny and uplifting, a memory that will bring her joy in the midst of her sorrow. She finds her answer when she comes across a small envelope. In her handwriting is the date October 21 – 25, 1991. Scribbled underneath that is Cat’s first boyfriend and first kiss. Annabelle dyes her hair black and becomes so new wave.
Chapter 7

It was the first Monday after the memory box was created and Sophie fought desperately to discover something worthy enough for her two new best friends to read. It is already near the end of October and Sophie feels blessed to have met such courageous and funny girls as Annabelle and Cat. Transferring to a new school was always a tough adjustment for a fourth grader. Sophie is saved in fifth period, Social Studies. Mrs. Davis always gave them fifteen minutes of silent reading in the class. She always assigned them a chapter a day to read in class. During the silent time, Mrs. Davis grades their homework from the previous night. Annabelle, Cat, and Sophie usually play tic- tac- toe, hangman, or pass notes in order to pass the time. They purposely sat in the back of the class so they are not caught. Thankfully, Mrs. Davis does not have assigned seating. Today, all three girls were passing a note about Andy. Andy is this fifth grader that Cat has a humongous crush on. Suggestions are being comprised on how to get Andy to notice Cat. Annabelle suggested that she stuff her bra. Sophie suggested that she accidentally bump into him and then apologize. Cat was thinking of something less humiliating like writing him a secret admirer letter. Both Annabelle and Sophie think a love note is too cheesy and that he would probably figure out her handwriting since Mrs. Lopez had posted up their haikus in the hallway for everyone to read. More and more schemes are written before Annabelle finally writes Just go up to him after school, kiss him, and tell him you think he’s cute. This makes Sophie crack up as she imagines the look on his face. Her chuckling gets her a mean stare from Mrs. Davis. Sophie sheepishly turns her hazel eyes back to the open textbook on her desk. Her face is a bright red tomato. After a few seconds, Mrs. Davis returns her eyes to her grading. Sophie feels thankful that Mrs. Davis did not walk up to her desk or she may have discovered the note hiding under her thick book. Then she might have posted the note up on the door for everyone to read. She remembered when Mrs. Davis had discovered Sam Brown reading a love note from his girlfriend, Wes Peterson. Mrs. Davis took the note, read it aloud to the class and then posted it up for all her classes to read. The note was really embarrassing. Poor Sam and Wes were picked on for weeks. Sam never read another of Wes’s love notes in a class again.
After class, Sophie, Annabelle, and Cat walk to their lockers.
“Soooo … Cat, what do you plan on doing about Andy?” Annabelle heckled her.
“Shhhiiisssssssssh! Someone could hear you!” Cat admonished her. Then she abashedly added, “Well, I planned on just writing him a secret admirer note or sumthin’, I guess.”
Annabelle replied, “Cat, we already told you that is so cheesy and stupid. He’ll think you’re a moron when he finds out.”
Cat defensively responded, “So what? It’s my prob anyways, so butt out!”
“Yeah, well I double dog dare you to go up to him and kiss him after school!” Annabelle bursts.
Cat’s light brown eyes grew into the size of silver dollars and her face turned the same tomato shade Sophie’s face had become earlier. Sophie felt sorry for Cat because Annabelle can be quite intimidating when she wants to be. Sophie thinks it has something to do with her fire colored hair and jade green eyes that sometimes make her resemble a witch. She knows Cat will not back down from a dare, either. It’s the New Yorker in Cat to always prove she is tough and quite frankly she was. In fact, she reminded Sophie of Punkie Brewster.
As Sophie pretty much predicts, Cat gives Annabelle a hard stare straight in the eyes and says, “Ok. You gottit! After school then. But then I dare ya back. You gotta dye your hair black.”
Annabelle presents her a slow smile and replies, “Whatever, sure.” She tries to act like dying her hair is no big deal, but Sophie and Cat know how much Annabelle loves her hair no matter how many times she tries to downplay it. Annabelle tends to be a bit of a narcissist sometimes like the guy they read about in Mrs. Lopez’s class. He always stared at himself in the lake. Sophie often had caught Annabelle staring at herself in the pond in her garden and she always thought about Narcissus. Annabelle’s egoism never bothered them too much, though. They always figured it was part of her being an only child and so rich.
Annabelle and Cat always dare each other to do the craziest things and each of them always did it. None of them ever dared Sophie to do much, because every time they did Sophie would find some way to meet the demands of the dare without embarrassing herself. For example, when Cat dared her to kiss a boy once, Sophie kissed her little brother, Josh, on the cheek. When Annabelle dared her to wear makeup to school against her mother’s wishes, Sophie wore a light lip gloss, some clear mascara, and eye shadow that matched her dark skin color. No one at school could tell the difference. After awhile, both girls quit daring Sophie, because she always managed to take the fun out of it. Of course, Annabelle and Cat seemed to like proving to each other that one was tougher than the other.
Finally, 3:15 rolls around and the last bell rings. Everyone heads toward the bus depot like a group of penguins trekking across the ice. As the students wait for their school bus, they stand around and yap. Andy Hook, the boy Cat likes is talking to John Hall. Cat, straightens up, and inhales deeply through her nose and then gives a slow exhalation through her mouth. She then saunters towards Andy as if he is the promise land and she is Moses parting the sea of students. Cat grabs his right hand, gives him this look that Sophie reads as I’m so sorry, please forgive me for I’m about to make a great, big fool of myself and you’ll neva fuggetit and gives him an awkward kiss on his tightly closed lips. The kiss lasts a few seconds, but for all of them it lasts a few years. They can all feel Cat’s bravado and Andy’s shock. Then suddenly, the kiss is over, and Cat spins around and heads toward her bus. The whole time she keeps her head held high and doesn’t look at anyone, including Sophie or Annabelle. Andy, however, stands quite dumbfounded while John says, “Hey dude you didn’t tell me Cat and you were going around.” Andy nods and shrugs his shoulders.
On Tuesday, the whole school finds out about the incident and Cat has her first boyfriend. Annabelle has black hair that makes her face look quite pale. However, Annabelle wears a black head band around her now long thick, black, wavy hair and puts on heavy black eyeliner and red lip stick. She wears a black Depeche Mode concert shirt, stone wash jeans, and black Doc Martins. This made her resemble the alternative crowd in the school. Therefore, she did not suffer too much ridicule, since Depeche Mode and The Cure were the fad those days and had made the look rather popular. If anything, Annabelle, got attention from the bad boys in the fifth grade who Sophie had heard smoked marijuana and cigarettes on a regular basis.
Finally, Sophie has her unique item for the memory box that week. In an envelope, marked with her name and the dates October 21 – 25, 1991, Sophie puts in the note all three of them wrote in Mrs. Davis’s class and on the back she writes Cat’s first boyfriend and first kiss. Annabelle dyes her hair black and becomes so new wave. Then she tucks the envelope into her backpack so she won’t lose it or forget to put it in the memory box during the weekend.
Chapter 8

Sophie held the note in her hand. “Ha! Ha! Ha!” The laughter burst from her lips and it felt a little foreign but still good. Tom Foolery gives her a strange stare. She rubs his little fawn colored forehead in the spot between his black ears.
“I know Tom your mother first cries and then she laughs. She’s loco all right!” And Sophie laughed some more.
The CD was laying Ryan Adams’ To Be Young. Cat, sure knew how to pick them. She sang along with the words she knows all too well. Then she shook her pointer finger at God as she shouted the next lyrics, “Lord I got high, and I got a bone to pick with you and I’m sure you know it’s true…”
Sophie’s high soprano voice trailed off as her thoughts began to wander. Suicide changed your relationship with God. She used to believe in hell and now she did not. If God loved His children so much then why would He let them spend an eternity tortured? Life is already torturous. Sometimes you live with demons constantly punching your back. The Bible says, “He will never give you anything you cannot handle.” But God did give her something she could not handle. Why God? I cannot handle this. She began to cry and then she got out her cheap black spiral notebook that served as her journal and hurriedly wrote:
Kneeling in this room begging you to see me God
But where are you?
I only find pain and guilt as I get up from these long cessions with rug burn on my knees
They said you loved me
They said if only I prayed everyday
I would find you
They said if only I followed all the rules,
Immersed myself in You
but I do and all I ever feel is guilt
I cannot eat, I cannot sleep
I trudge through this world cloaked in guilt

Sometimes I want to rip you from the Cross
And place your tattered body next to me
They say you died for me so it is my destiny to serve thee
They drill this in my head like a fact
Perform the task
But right now I want to run to you for strength and guidance
To find love that is not destructive
But it’s difficult to discover a peace within you
When all I am surrounded by is how inaccessible you are
Please, I am pleading, Is there a place in your heart for violent girls like me?
The cacophony in the chorus
When curses keep coming
And oops! I committed blasphemy on the page again
My priest will say I am crazy, insane
That my antics reek with my frantic crash course collision mood
But I believe I am just simply misunderstood
Particularly by them, particularly by me
In theory, I believe I am an enigmatic equation lacking the correct brain to solve me
And maybe that’s my malfunction
That I am trying to find a love, drug, passing phase, or even you, God, to absolve me
From this catchy charade I call a life, lie
For so many buy it, buy that I’m content, I’m at peace
I’m just challenging
They have the answer You in your toga mending the lambs
As if I could assimilate myself into a lamb when I feel like the wolf in sheep’s clothing
I AM THE LIE SEARCHING TO CONSUME PEACE
And this icon, image doesn’t quite match the description of the revolutionary I read about
I DON’T NEED YOU FRIENDLY
Or hanging on a Cross screaming GUILTY! GUILTY!
I need you sitting on this couch holding me while I kick and scream
Or lying with me on the cold, tile floor offering your shoulder for comfort
or sometimes I want you to hug me tightly, while I cling
and sometimes I want to crawl into your bed and hide in your chest
This is what I call peace, this is what I call absolution
This is what I call moving beyond you as a religious icon

When she was finished, she realized she felt much better. God, forgive me. She knew He did not mind when his children vented. When she had started attending a Christian church in her sophomore year of high school, she had been struck by the story of David. She had never known that biblical characters had sinned against God. She did not know they were human. This was not something that the Catholic Church focused on telling their members. However, her new Christian pastor had preached about the story of David and Bathsheba. Then he had read some of the Psalms that David had written during the time. This had prompted Sophie to read the Bible starting with King of Kings I and Psalms. She loved the way that David had lamented and gotten angry with God in the Psalms. Then he would praise him. She had never known before then that people had actually had real relationships with God. They communicated with Him like she sometimes communicated with her mother or brother or two best friends. She was touched by the fact that David had locked himself up in a room and torn off all his clothes when he had heard of his child’s death. This had reminded her of the time when she had first heard about the suicides. She had lain on the cold tile floor and imagined that David had lain on the cold ground, too.

Chapter 9

A month had passed and everyday the memory box taunted Sophie. The memory box dared her to reach into its gaping mouth and wrench out another piece from her past. The memories needed to breathe and confess. They needed to put the dead to rest. On some days Sophie had the will and energy to pull out one of the many pieces of her past. Other days, she wanted to pretend the box did not exist or take it into the Hill Country and chop it into pieces with an axe. She wanted to pretend her friends did not exist and that her life was just a horrifying movie that would end some day. On this particular August day, though, she willed herself to reach into the box and found an envelope that Annabelle had deposited. It was dated Summer 1996 and in the art studio was scribbled upon it. Sophie remembered the studio that Mr. Abbott had built for his very creative daughter, Annabelle. Annabelle had been the artist in their threesome. Sophie opened the sealed envelope and noticed three colorful hand prints made of glue. Sophie had seen these hand prints before. In fact, one of the prints belonged to her. The other two hand prints belong to Annabelle and Cat.

Summer 1996

Mr. Abbott, wanting to further commemorate the girl’s achievement of being accepted into the School of Young Artists (SOYA high school), decided to build Annabelle her own art studio. By the middle of June the studio had been finished. Annabelle took the girls to go see the studio, which was right by the Japanese garden.

“So, girls, here is the studio!” Annabelle excitedly gasped, moving her left hand toward the door as if she was a doorman showing Cat and Sophie to their fancy hotel room.

Cat opened the French glass door that lead to a small lobby with soft plush desert sand love seats and an Ozarka water cooler. Sophie noticed that the lobby was quite small and surrounded by large windows. Sophie sank into one of the comfortable love seats and peered outside one of the large windows. Annabelle and Cat filled small cone-shaped cups with water from the water cooler. Sophie felt the cool shade of the several cedar trees that blocked the sun from entering the studio. To the left of the tall trees was the Japanese pond. She wished she had a book to read or her journal to write in about the captivating scene.

In the middle wall there were two doors: one that lead to a small restroom and another door that lead to the actual studio. Annabelle opened the door and lead them inside the studio. She flipped on a light switch because the studio has no windows to allow light in. Annabelle mentioned, “The sunlight will fade my paintings after a while so my dad did not put any windows in this area.”

Each of them took a few minutes to observe the vastness of the open space and for their eyes to gather an inventory of the studio’s contents. The studio was in the shape of a rectangle and three of the walls were colored white. The furthest wall was actually a metal garage door.

Annabelle explained, “The metal garage door over there is to transport my large canvases through. My dad bought a whole bunch for me. They are against that wall over there.” She points to the left wall and they see canvases that almost touch the ceiling of the wall. Sophie wonders if Annabelle will use those enormous canvases to paint a scene like Jackson Pollock’s Autumn Rhythm. It was one of her favorite paintings.

“All the walls are smooth so that I can draw, paint, or doodle on them.” Annabelle informed them. Sophie runs a hand through the wall and does not feel any of the acne that are on her walls. Alongside the left side wall is another door.

“Where does that lead to?” Cat asked. Her brown eyes are filled with curiosity.

“That leads to a dungeon! Just kidding! It is really a dark room so that I can develop photographs.” Annabelle replied. The girls chuckled at her joke.

Three metal work tables were located in the middle of the studio. Beside each metal work table was an easel. One of the easels held one of Annabelle’s charcoal drawings. Another of the easels held one of Annabelle’s paintings. It was done in the cubism style of Matisse. The last easel showcased one of Annabelle’s water colors. On the other side of one of the walls, was a drafting table, which stands next to a desk. On the desk is an Apple computer. Alongside one of the other walls is what looks like a small kitchen island on wheels. It is black all around with a black and white marble top. There are several drawers that the girls pull out. In the first drawer are a variety of artistic tools and paintbrushes in a variety of sizes. In the second drawer are charcoals and a variety of different colored drawing pencils. In the third drawer are small jars of oil, acrylic, and water paints. In the last two drawers are canvases and other types of paper- like materials that Sophie has never seen. On top of the marble top is a CD player. On the other side of the island are more drawers full of stuff, including a drawer full of Annabelle’s CD collection. The most amazing part of the studio, though, is the roof that is filled with two large skylights.

“Isn’t it awesome?” Annabelle squealed. She was jumping up and down with her curly red hair tossing all around her.

“Yeah, it’s pretty incredible.” Sophie replied. She was really impressed with the studio.

“Pretty damn awesome.” Cat added. She also was awed by the studio.

“Do you all wanna stay over here tomorrow night and help me with a project?” Annabelle inquired giving them a mischievous look.

“Sure!” Sophie and Cat both chimed in unison.

Sophie and Cat grabbed sleeping bags and spent the next night in the art studio. Annabelle had lain out on the floor a stack of Styrofoam plates, a package of plastic knives, a garbage bag, three boxes of McCormick assorted food coloring, and three Elmer’s glue bottles. Annabelle took three Styrofoam plates from the package and placed one in front of each of them. Then she places a box of food coloring, a bottle of glue, and a plastic knife in front of each of the girls. Next, Annabelle instructs Cat and Sophie to pour a little bit of the glue onto the plate and then put a few drops of any of the food coloring. Annabelle chooses blue. Cat chooses red. Sophie chooses green. Then Annabelle mixes the color with the plastic knife and begins to put the glue on her hand. Cat and Sophie also mix their colors into the glue and put it on their hands.

“Okay now wait about five minutes for the glue to dry and then we will gently pull them off.” Annabelle instructs.

“So, Annabelle, what exactly is this that we’re doin’?” Cat inquires.

“Yeah, this is a little weird.” Sophie adds thinking the coolness of the glue feels rather nice.

“Well, I am getting our hand and feet prints and making something with it! That way I can include you both in one of my art projects!” Annabelle says with laughter.

“Ok! Just asking.” Cat says and smiles. “It feels a little silly doing this, but if it helps ya, I’m game!”

“Yeah, me too!” Sophie replies feeling honored and simultaneously excited at the prospect that Annabelle is including them in an art project. She is amazed at how imaginative Annabelle is and anticipates what the project will look like.

“Ok, tootsies, I think the glue has officially dried. Now carefully pull the dried glue off and place the hand prints on the garbage bag.” Annabelle instructs as she pulls off a perfect blue print from her hand, which is faintly blue now.

Cat pulls off hers but half her thumb gets stuck so she has to do the print again. Her hand is slightly red. Sophie pulls off her print and half the palm gets stuck so she also has to the print again. She notices that her hand is slightly green.

“Don’t worry it takes some practice to get a perfect print. Just put what you got on the garbage bag and I might be able to use it. Take off your shoes and socks so that we can do our feet at the same time. Also, you can mix colors if you want. Just get another plate.” Annabelle tells them. She proceeds to take off her sandals and roll up her pajama pants to her knees. Then she mixes another plate of different colors. By the time she is finished she has a red and green right food, a blue and yellow left foot, and both of her hands have a rainbow of swirls in the middle. Sophie opts for blue on all her feet and red on her hands until she trusts she has gotten the hang of the project. Cat puts blue and yellow on each foot but in diagonal stripes. She then puts the same stripes on her hands. By the end of the night Annabelle has sixty different prints all together of different colors and designs. By then the girls are exhausted and go to wash their hands and feet in the bathroom. Then they go to bed.

In the morning, Annabelle carefully holds up one of the rainbow colored prints under the skylight and we see it hang from her hand almost like a prism chard. Sophie and Cat think it is really cool. Sophie looks at all the different colored hands and feet on the garbage bags and tries to figure out which prints are hers and which are Cat’s and Annabelle’s. She knows that Annabelle has the smallest feet and hands. Annabelle wears a size five in shoes and is only five foot one. Sophie is a little taller. She is five foot two and her hands are slightly bigger. She wears a size six and a half shoe. Cat is the tallest of them. She is five foot five and her hands are pretty large and her fingers are long and thin.

Sophie gently touches one of the hand prints, which is probably Cat’s since it is the biggest. She is surprised by the texture of the glue which is soft and rough at the same time. Sophie recalls how in science class, Mr. Jones, had told them that each print from the body is unique and no one has the same print. Mr. Jones told them that is how they catch criminals with finger prints. He told them that identical twins can share the same DNA, but that they could not share the same fingerprints. Sophie studies the individual lines in the hands and the actual lines in the fingers that make her friend’s print unique. She then studies one of her prints and studies the individual lines that make her unique. She is awed by the fact that whatever Annabelle decides to do with the prints that she will have a piece of art that is so unique and no one could ever replicate unless Cat and she are involved.

By the next weekend, Annabelle covered the prints with clear Plexiglas and had it suspended from the ceiling close to a skylight. The final product resembled a stain-glass window. Sophie and Cat thought it was beautiful.

Chapter 10

Another day, another day. The months were passing by slowly. September had inched up like a caterpillar climbing a tree. I guess this is what it feels like to wait for death to take you. If the girls had been alive then one of them would have been starting a new college semester. Both girls had not completed college before they died. These thoughts run through Sophie’s mind as she stared at the acne on the ceiling in her room. Her morning ritual of staring off into the distance for several minutes after she awoke has now turned into her daily meditation. She used to just lie in bed and numb her thoughts, but now they have crept back into her mind. It is a good sign. It means she is healing. Thinking scared her, but now she was okay with thinking even if it did lead to thoughts involving Annabelle and Cat. Sophie knew that the memory box had a significant effect upon her. Sophie knew she did not cause the death of her two friends. The memory box had revealed to her that Annabelle and Cat were not always the vibrant girls she was accustomed to. In fact, their mementos and memories exposed her misperception of reality. Annabelle and Cat had often angst over their struggles to change the world. Ironically, their extreme exit of this world had significantly transformed her world. Their deaths would forever linger like her shadow. In this way Annabelle and Cat would receive some consolation. However, she wished her friends would have talked to her or asked for help. Nothing she could do about it, though. Nothing.
She realized that in two months it will be the one year anniversary of her friend’s deaths. She wondered what she should do to solemnize the event. Maybe she could hold a candlelight ceremony, maybe a séance? Yeah right! She laughs to herself. She looks by her side and little Tom Foolery is snoring away by her side. At least he has not left her, yet. However, she worried everyday that the cruel world would even take him away from her. She knew that no one was immune to death. She just hoped that she died before anyone else she loved past away again.
Sophie rose from underneath her covers and walk barefooted on the beige carpet to the memory box. Because long ago the girls had decided to give up their wonderful tree house to Josh and Jacob, Cat’s twin brothers, the memory box’s contents were in disarray. She remembered the event vividly. Seeing the huge oak trunk fall to the sky had mesmerized her. How had Annabelle and Cat been affected by the massive trunk’s descent? Did they imagine also descending like the wooden trunk?
************
Most of the summer of 1996, had been spent with the girls saying goodbye to their tree house days. Because the girls were entering high school, they decided to give the twins their once cherished abode. All of them agreed that Josh and Jacob, who were both now entering the third grade, would have better adventures than they would. However, one of the biggest dilemmas became what to do with the memory box. By now the girls had memorized the rules and put those inside the box with all their signatures. The girls decided to stick to the fourth grade ritual and continue using the memory box. However, they had to figure out a way to get the massive trunk onto the ground without destroying it. Mrs. Castillo had the best idea and suggested they push it off onto a mattress on the ground.
It is a typical Texas August day, hot and humid. Annabelle and Sophie put a tarp on the ground and then the five of them- the twins, Annabelle, Cat and Sophie- lift Cat’s queen-size mattress and place it on the tarp. The boys reeked of sweaty armpits. All of them are dripping with sweat. The mattress is heavy and awkward to grasp, but eventually they get it on the tarp without getting any dirt on it.
“Pheewwww! We did it, kiddos.” Cat huffed as she wiped off the sweat on her face onto her jean shorts.
“Yeah, now the trick is to get someone to push the oak chest unto the mattress.” Sophie replies as she pulls the front of her orange tang top back and forth from her chest to get air circulating. Her tang top is full of sweat.
“Hey, Josh and Jacob, why don’t you both climb up the tree house and push the chest down? If you do that, then the tree house will be all yours. ” Annabelle tells them as she sips from a Capri Sun she grabs from the top of Cat’s lawn table.
Both boys shout, “Okay!” And then Jacob climbs the planks, while Josh climbs up the ropes.
“Last one up is a stinky fart!” Jacob shouts as he races to the top of the tree house.
All the girls are too exhausted to climb up the wooden planks. Sophie even sits down on the comfortable mattress, imagining she is the Snuggle bear and the mattress is the soft cool clouds she can plunge her body onto.
“Okay! Here she comes!” The boys shout from inside the tree house.
“Wait!” Sophie shouts, snapping out of her daydream and worrying about being squashed by their memory box. Ironically, if she were killed by the memory box, then Cat and Annabelle would get to open it right now and look inside. Sophie moves from the mattress and looks up to see the wooden chest edging its way over the tree house entrance. She jumps at least five feet back from the mattress in case the chest bounces off the mattress. Cat, Sophie, and Annabelle all watch like scared children seeing a horror flick as the oak chest falls from 10 feet off the ground. As the wooden chest free falls into the air, it mesmerizes all three of them. Sophie imagines their mementos, notes, photos, and memories scrambling inside ready to escape from the heart of the chest. She imagines the wooden chest’s body exploding and allowing all of the contents of its soul free into the sky. However, the chest doesn’t break. Instead, the wooden chest plumps onto the mattress safekeeping all of their cherished memories. It was a good thing that Annabelle had remembered to duct tape the slot so nothing would fall out.
************
Annabelle, Sophie, and Cat decide that the best place for the memory box is Cat’s room. The girls had actually been spending more time in Annabelle’s art studio, but none of them wanted to go through the trouble of moving the wooden chest again.
After the tree house incident, the girls have a movie marathon, knowing it will be their last time as eight graders. For three days straight, they sleep on a pile of comforters and pillows on the floor of Annabelle’s TV room. They watch some of their old favorites, Heathers and Breakfast at Tiffany’s. They watch some of their new favorites, The Legend of Billie Jean and Thelma and Louise.
Chapter 11

Yes, old friend, you sure did survive that fall! Sophie says to the memory box. She reaches in and grabs an envelope. Tom Foolery lays by her side and curiously stares at the envelope for a split second before deciding it is not worthy of his attention, in other words the envelope is not food! This envelope has Annabelle’s name scribbled on top in black pen. Sophie opens up the envelope and finds a photograph and a post card. The post card shows a picture of the Eiffel Tower in Paris, France. The sun is setting behind it. On the back of the post card is a note written by Annabelle.

June 5, 2000

Cat and Sophie,

I miss you terribly. Paris is breathtaking, though. The Eiffel Tower is bigger than you would ever imagine. I feel like Audrey Hepburn in Funny Face. I just want to dance and dance all over the city. Someday we all will visit this place. Even you, Sophie! I won’t let you be stuck in Texas forever! Anyways, you all won’t imagine what I did. I wrote our names on the Eiffel Tower. The photo is proof and on the back I left directions so you can go see it for yourselves someday.

Hugs & Kisses!

Annabelle

Sophie pulls out the photograph from within the envelope. The edges are folded and the front is a little scratched from years of shuffling in the box. The photograph is of a painted milk chocolate iron bar. The milk chocolate paint is peeling off the bar and reveals the silver underneath. In permanent black marker is scribbled the words Annabelle, Cat, & Sophie 4 E 2000. Below this inscription are the names of several others who had visited the famous monument. Unfortunately, the rest of the city below the milk chocolate colored bar was too out of focus to make out. Sophie flipped the photograph around. On the back, Annabelle had written these specific instructions: Go to the second floor and on the upper platform walk to the bright yellow stairs by the Southern pillar. Our names are right there just before you go down the stairs. Sophie was saddened by the fact that all three of them did not get a chance to take a trip to Paris. Sophie would have loved to experience such a romantic city with them.

After awhile Sophie decides Why the heck not go to Paris? Her best friends would have wanted her to go and she had never been to Paris before. Hell, she had never been out of Texas. It would be a great way to signify the year of their death. She could even use some of the money that Annabelle had left her. According to Mr. Abbott, Annabelle had left Sophie $100,000 to do with as she pleased. Most of the money was from Annabelle’s trust fund that she had gotten when she turned eighteen. At first, Sophie did not want to accept the money. She would have rather had her best friends alive to go with her. Unfortunately, Mr. Abbott had refused to take the money. When Sophie insisted he give it to a charitable foundation, Mr. Abbott had told her that Annabelle had already donated a sizeable amount of money to the Ellis Bean, Saysi, and the Ethos Art Foundation. All were San Antonio charitable foundations that Annabelle had actively participated in. Annabelle had helped throw artistic shows on First Fridays at the Ellis Bean. She had also volunteered to mentor the young artists that participated in Saysi. Annabelle had also helped established a summer arts program for the homeless children at the SAMMS homeless shelter. Mr. Abbott said she had donated funds to other San Antonio charities as well.

Sophie hadn’t really thought about what to do with the money. She had tried to give some of the money to her mother, but her mother was doing well enough. Plus, her mother had told her to spend the money in a way that Annabelle would have wanted her to. Sophie decided that now she would. In January she was going to start the year in Paris! She would go up the Eiffel Tower and she would stand in the place that Annabelle had stood. She would look at the names and remember a time when they were young and carefree.

Sophie had remembered when Annabelle had left to Paris. It was right after they had all graduated from SOYA. The Abbotts had sent Annabelle to Paris for a month as a graduation gift. Sophie had wanted to go but at the time she was too poor to afford it and she would not have dared ask the Abbotts to pay for her. Cat’s parents had thought she was too young to go to a place like that by herself. Therefore, Annabelle ended up going with one of her cousins, Leslie. When she came back from the trip, Sophie had remembered that she was glowing and had all these fashionable new outfits.

Now Sophie would be able to go to Paris and feel just like Audrey Hepburn in Funny Face. Maybe Sophie would even dance just like her or go to a café and see people read French poems. Maybe she would be like Carrie from Sex in the City and twirl around in an expensive dress waiting for romance. Whatever happens, will happen. Sophie gives Tom Foolery a crazy stare before she picks up her furry best friend and carries his heavy body with both her hands. She then begins to dance with him around the room. She looks like a mother fumbling with a baby.
“I’m doing it, Tom! Yes, I’m going to Paris! Oh, don’t look at me like that lil buddy, I swear this time I’m not so loco. I am daring, adventurous, and going to Paris. I guess you will have to stay with your lil grandma.”
Tom just stares at her crazily for a moment. She is sure that he cannot remember the last time she held him in her arms. As Sophie realizes that she is holding him, she begins to laugh and cry. She is healing! She remembers waking up every morning and dancing with Tom Foolery. She would put on the song, Just like Heaven by the Cure and sing and dance with him every morning. Well she wasn’t putting on the Cure this morning but she was holding Tom Foolery in her arms again, acting silly, laughing, and going to Paris. What the heck, maybe she would sing a few a cappella verses. So there Sophie stood in the middle of her room twirling Tom Foolery’s heavy pug body, laughing, crying, and singing in a squeaky soprano voice, “Yoooouuuu soft and only, yououou lost and lonely, yooouuuuooouu strange as angels, dancing in the deepest oceans, you're just like a dream, just like a dream…..”

Chapter 12

Sophie’s plane landed at the Charles de Gaulle airport in Paris, France on a crisp January day. She could hardly believe the immense traffic she observed while traveling in her taxi to her hotel. The ride took them nearly two hours. She thought they would kill at least one of the many motorcyclists that cut in front of them unexpectedly. Sometimes she saw two or three next to each other in the same lane. She wondered if all the stunt motorcyclists she watched on the X-games were required to train in Paris traffic. Because it was so far away she had to pay the taxi driver fifty Euros.

The Hotel Balladins had a wonderful quality. It is cheap. Also, the hotel is only about 2 miles from the metro, the major transportation in France. In the yellow and white lobby she sees a flat screen television playing Law and Order but the characters speak in French. If only Annabelle and Cat were here they would have laughed along with her. Sophie walks up to the reservation desk to check in. She notices that behind the counter is a sign that she interprets as saying $20 deposit for the remote control. She won’t be offering up her twenty dollars. Who comes to Paris to watch TV? The guy behind the desk is speaking proper English to someone on the phone. He reminds her of the actor from Blood Diamonds with the British accent. His accent is very similar to his. His skin is smooth and the same ebony color as his. She thinks the guy is sexy. Then she blushes thinking that already these foreign men are starting to turn her on. Then she remembers that it has been awhile since she slept with someone. The last guy she had been with was Nick and now that seemed years ago and somehow she cannot imagine that she is the same girl of only a little over a year ago.

Sophie realizes the man is off the phone and now speaking to her. His words are more British than American. He tells her that she can use “the lift” to go to her room. She recalls from some movie probably starring Jude Law, that a lift is really an elevator. As Sophie heads up to her room in the lift, this pretty girl with caramel skin and slanted eyes, begins to chat with her.

“Hey! I noticed you speaking English. Are you from America, too?” She asks. Sophie notices she has long, thick black hair and thick black eyebrows that have been professionally plucked and waxed. She reminds Sophie of Princess Jasmine from the Disney animated movie. Sophie makes a mental note to pluck her eyebrows before she heads out tonight.

“Yeah.” Sophie says a little too loudly. She is just too excited to be in Paris and already someone is chatting with her. The girl is wearing a Duke sweatshirt and jogging pants. She is probably still in college.

“I’m here with my husband. He is going off to Iraq in a month. We always wanted to see Paris so we’re here now.” The girl offers. Sophie feels for the girl. God, please be with her husband in Iraq. Sophie prays, knowing all too well what death does to someone. She hopes this girl skips out on that lesson this soon in her life.

“I’ve always wanted to see Paris, too. You know, Carrie, in Sex and the City.” Sophie offers not wanting to depress the girl with the details of her reason for visiting Paris.

“Hey, don’t expect that, though. We’ve been here for three days already and I will tell you Paris is a dirty city. It is romantic but it is dirty, poor, and sad just like any other city in the world.” The girl says this with a smile still on her face and Sophie thinks that maybe she is downplaying the city so that Sophie will be surprised.

“Thanks for raining on my parade. Just kidding! Well here’s my stop. It was nice meeting you. I hope your husband and you have a romantic adventure, for what it’s worth.” Sophie leaves the girl and realizes she did not even get her name. Oh well it was nice talking to someone from the same country. She was feeling kind of lonely, here. She missed her two best friends.

The stench from her room swarmed her as if she had walked into the boys’ locker room after their football practice. The room came equipped with only the bare essentials. On one wall was a full- size bed wrapped in white sheets. Above the bed was a miniature ladder that led to a twin- size bunk bed. The set-up reminded her of when she was young and spent the night at her mother’s best friend, Delia’s house. She would have to share bunk beds with her cousins. Apparently, in France closets were only an item of luxury for this room did not have any. The room also lacked a dresser, closets, or a Bible. However, in the corner of the room, next to the bunk bed, was a triangular yellow piece of wood which hung two hangers. The walls were bare. There were no pretty replicas of paintings or even prints. A small desk was located by the one window in the room. On the desk was located a 7 inch television, which did not work without the twenty dollar remote. For twenty dollars, though, a night, Sophie was just glad the room was bug free. Additionally, the hotel room came with a restroom and bathtub. The bathtub lacked a shower curtain, though.

Sophie placed her backpack on the bed. She was really hot and did not imagine the room came with air conditioning either. She decided to take a quick nap and then head out towards the Eiffel tower. The front desk clerk had given her a map and directions on how to get to Paris’ many famous attractions. He had even explained the metro and bus systems to her. However, she was still nervous about riding public transportation in a foreign country. San Antonio and Austin did not have a metro or subway. The cities did have buses, though. Unfortunately, the desk clerk said that was a bad idea and that the only way to purchase a bus ticket was through a tobacco shop. Unfortunately, it was Sunday, which meant all the stores were closed. Apparently, all over Europe shops closed on Sunday.

Now dressed in panties and a tank top, Sophie slumbered like a small child. Two hours later, she turns off the buzzing alarm she set on her cell phone. She takes a bath, which ends up taking awhile and is quite complicated, because there is no shower curtain. She dresses in a pair of Levi’s jeans, a black t-shirt, a navy blue hood jacket, and into some black skull Vans she had bought for the trip. Before she embarks upon her quest, Sophie grabs a pair of black cotton gloves which she sticks into the pockets of her hoody. She also grabs the photograph with the names written onto the Eiffel Tower railing. Annabelle, Cat, & Sophie 4 E 2000. She tucks the photograph into her jacket pocket. Then she walks out the door and goes down the lobby. She had the map of the metro station in her other jacket packet. According to the desk clerk, the metro is a fifteen minute walk from the hotel. She walks out the two glass doors of the hotel and heads in the direction that the desk clerk pointed to. She notices a tall guy leaning upon the right wall of the hotel. He looks at her and smiles, “Going to paint the town red in Pari?”

He has a cigarette in his right hand that he is smoking. “You know in Europe these are called fags? Isn’t that crazy that ironic that they call cigarettes fags and tough guys always seem to be the ones smoking them?”

“Yeah, I guess that is.” Sophie wonders if all Americans can spot each other all over the world. She is put off by the fact that this guy knew she was American. He obviously is, but honestly she would have never been able to tell if he had not spoken. He had European features. He was tall, skinny, handsome, and exuded arrogance. In an odd way, he reminded her of Annabelle. Annabelle had exuded the same arrogance as if she was Narcissus and you were fortunate to be the lake she visited her reflection upon.

“I’m Wes.” He offers. “I can show you some of the sights if you’d like. Just came back from the Arc de Triomphe and this morning I went to the Louvre.”

The secret about Annabelle, though, was that she was as egotistic as she was lonely. She had been an only child and Sophie recalled that Annabelle was the one who had approached her in the fourth grade. Sophie was too shy to ever approach anyone.

“Okay. Yeah I could use some company. Did you by any chance ride the metro?” Sophie retorts. At least she would not have to figure out this public transportation system alone.

“Yeah it’s a real pisser that one.” Wes says in a mock English voice. He starts walking in front of her flicking his cigarette on the asphalt in the process. She has to nearly run to catch up with his long strides.

“Hey wait up, there! You’re getting a little ahead of me.” Sophie called as she huffed and puffed to keep up with him.

“Then keep up.” He sarcastically remarks. Sophie considers she may have made a bad mistake following this arrogant SOB! I will just wait till he teaches me how to ride the metro and then I will avoid him. With a newfound attitude, she raises her head and begins to walk as fast as her small legs will carry her. She is happy that she wore the Secret Plus deodorant. She had a feeling she was going to sweat and smell just like her room.

The metro station is hidden by a parking garage which is hidden behind a large shopping center that could be mistaken for an American mall. The parking lot is empty except for the area beside the metro station. Wes leads Sophie to this machine and he begins to punch in a number code and stick some Euro into the machine. Sophie looks at the odd machine and tries to figure out what Wes is doing so that she can ditch him later.

“I need two euro fifty.” He replies.

“Okay, just a sec.” Sophie turns a little, because she doesn’t want Wes to see her grab the money from her bra. Wes chuckles as she awkwardly fumbles through her t- shirt to get money from her bra.

“What a prick.” Sophie mutters to herself as she pulls out a wad of euro bills.

“Yeah well this prick can let you figure out this metro thing all by yourself if you’d like. I really don’t feel like wasting my time with a snobby bitch anyways.” Wes snaps back. His blue eyes are almost black with anger.

“I am NOT a snobby bitch. In fact, if anyone has been a snob it is you with your “fag” and the metro is such a pisser!” Sophie sarcastically mocks in a fake British accent. “Look what’s your problem, anyways?”

“My problem is that I try to be friendly and show you around and you don’t even tell me your name! That is so rude! You know the European way is to make friends where you travel and not enemies.” Wes retorts back. His dirty blond eyebrows arch in anger and Sophie can notice a vein throbbing in his neck.

Sophie wants to say, You’re not even European, you freak, but instead she apologizes, “Look, I’m sorry for being rude. I’m Sophie and I’m not good at making new friends. I’m not a snob. I just don’t really have great social skills. As you can tell I came to Paris alone.”

Wes thinks he detects a deep inner sadness in her. Honestly, he just wanted to shag someone on this trip. He came by himself, because his English buddy on his rugby team bailed on him at the last minute. Wes does not want some depressed girl ruining his trip, though. Most American girls were actually pretty easy. It was a shame that he had picked one with problems. However, he had already committed to being her tourist guide. Tomorrow he could shag someone; today Sophie would be his charity case.

“Ey, no hard feelings. I will show you around tonight and then tomorrow is a brand new day.”

“Okay, deal.” Sophie replies. Then Sophie goes through her euro bills and hands Wes a five euro bill. She is taken back by his apology. She sighs to herself, because now she thinks Wes’ eyes are sexy and if she thinks he is sexy then that means she could like him. Just like her to go on a trip and fall in love with the first guy she meets. Yeah, Annabelle and Cat would be so proud of her.

Wes gives Sophie her change and then the two of them walk up some stairs to and wait for the E train. Sophie thought the rail station would be bigger and underground. Instead, they wait on metal benches outside. Not a lot of people stand by them.

“Where are we headed?” Sophie inquires. She is holding the map of Paris she received from the desk clerk.

“We are taking the E to the Gare du Nord station. From there we will purchase tickets to go to wherever you want, but you always have to go through the Gare du Nord station.” Wes replies pointing to the pink colored line in her map. Sophie spots the E on the map, but the rest of the map is still an enigma to her.

“I’d like to go to the Eiffel Tower.” Sophie admits feeling a little embarrassed that she is portraying herself as a typical American tourist. Now, I care what this guy thinks about me. I’m so pathetic.

“Sure, the Eiffel Tower is great. At night, they light it every hour I think.” Wes says. Then he reaches into the pocket of his long black wool jacket and pulls out an Ipod. He puts the headphones on and ignores her for the rest of the trip.

So much for getting to know one another, Sophie thinks as she leans back and observes Wes. She notices that he doesn’t smile much. He is a bit mysterious and definitely sexy. He is much taller than her. She is 5 foot 2 and he is probably 6 foot 1. His hair is honey blonde with golden flecks. The golden flecks shimmer on his chin, cheeks, and sideburns. His eyebrows are permanently arched giving his blue bonnet flower colored eyes a menacing look. This must have been what Lucifer looked like when he offered Eve the forbidden fruit. Underneath his long wool coat is a navy blue button down shirt with black buttons. His white v- neck under shirt peeks out a little as do his dark honey blond chest hairs. His dark denim jeans are fitted on him. He wears dark brown leather European walking shoes. Sophie thinks that he must be in his late. She wonders why he is helping her out when he obviously doesn’t want to.

Before she contemplates what it would be like to have sex with this stranger, Sophie decides to observe her surroundings. She is fascinated by the Paris transportation system and she is extremely grateful that Wes is guiding her through it. The metro train is two stories. Wes climbs up to the second floor of the metro train. She follows him up and immediately notices how dirty and stinky the system is. I guess the girl was not trying to downplay the city for me, she sadly thinks. However, she notices that all social classes ride the train: middle class businessmen to little old ladies to teenagers. In San Antonio, the majority of people who traveled by bus were usually poor. This was due to the fact that the bus was not the most reliable system of transportation. Trips that took only twenty minutes by car, would take nearly four hours on the bus. When Sophie first came into Paris, she had noticed the stand still traffic and was glad that she was not driving. Also, she found riding the metro train relaxing and she would not have to worry about parking charges.

Because they are three zones away from this station, the ride takes them about twenty minutes. During the twenty minutes, Sophie drifts off into memory bliss. Wes’ attitude and self- assuredness makes Sophie think about the first day she met Annabelle.

Chapter 13
August 1991
San Antonio, Texas

Sophia woke up early for her first day of school at Lady Bird elementary. She felt extremely nervous about the whole event. Her mother dropped her off at the school at about six thirty in the morning. Maria Santos was heading to her job as a receptionist and did not want to be late. However, she wanted to be with Sophia on her first day at her new school. Maria gave her daughter a peck on the cheek and asked La Virgin de Guadalupe to give her daughter courage.
“Be good and make lots of friends, mi niña.”

“Okay, mama. I will be fine. Don’t worry about me. I love you.” Sophie said, getting out of the blue station wagon.

“Not more than I.” Her mother replied. Then she drove off.

Sophia reckoned she was one of the first people there, considering that the sky was still dark. She wandered to the huge playground and sat on some swings. Around seven in the morning, more kids begin to arrive. Sophie quickly notices, though, only the little kids were playing on the swing sets. Therefore, she wandered toward the asphalt area where already some of the older boys were playing dodge ball. Some of the boys look old enough to be in the fourth grade. Sophie notices some girls about her age standing near her. They are wearing stylish jeans and t-shirts. All of them are wearing Keds. They carry purses with sparkling gems and pretty back packs. They appear to be gossiping.

As Sophie observes her surroundings, she wonders, How I am supposed to make friends with all these kids! In Del Rio, everyone had her dark brown skin and spoke Spanish. The kids here are Black, White, Mexican, and Asian. Not one of these kids resembles the kids from Del Rio. The Mexican students seem to be lighter than her. They also dressed much nicer than the kids from Del Rio and none of them speak any Spanish.

There she stood in the middle of the playground in worn jeans, a simple white shirt with tiny flowers, used tennis shoes, and a hand-me down back pack. All of her clothes had been brought from the Goodwill, even her shoes. She does not guess that any of these students shopped at the Goodwill.

The bell finally rang. Sophia walked to the portable where she first met Mrs. Lopez. It is a big classroom. Sophia likes the walls that are filled with colorful posters with funny sayings. She sits in the middle of the classroom by a window hoping that she is not noticed or called upon. She looks up and notices a poster of a funny looking monkey that is hanging with one arm on a tree branch. He is saying, “Don’t monkey around, read a book!” She thought it was cute and silently talks to the monkey, “Hello monkey! I guess it’s me and you all year!”

Suddenly, Sophia noticed a bright flash of color in her peripheral vision. She turned her head to see a tiny girl with long wavy hair that framed her pinkish face with tiny ringlets. Sometimes Sophia’s papa would take Diego and her to Lake Amistad to watch the glorious sunsets. As they sat on the back of his pick-up truck, they would witness the great yellow ball leave its fiery multi-colored path upon the lake. This was the color of the girl’s hair. The girl’s eyes were green like cat eyes. Her cheeks were populated with freckles. Sophia had never seen a girl with hair or skin like this in Del Rio. She had only read about girls with red hair and seen them on television. She noticed that the girl caught her staring. Before Sophia can look shyly look away, the girl gives her a slow devilish smile with mischief written in her jade green eyes. It was as if she was daring Sophia to do something, but Sophia could not figure out what.

The second bell rang and Mrs. Lopez introduced herself to the class of twenty- one students. She then has each of the students describe his or her summer vacation. The class quickly discovers that Sophia is a newbie. No one asks questions, but everyone stares at Sophia, probably trying to figure out if she is wearing an old piece of clothing or shoe that one of them donated last year.

After the introductions, Mrs. Lopez explains the schedule and tells the students how they will have seven other teachers in their other subjects: math, science, social studies, art, computers, and gym. She will teach English and be the homeroom teacher. After homeroom, the class treks to the next class, gym. Because it is the first day, the students sit on the floor while the gym teacher explains the uniform, rules, and so forth. Then the gym teacher allows the students to chitchat for the rest of the class. The girl with the mesmerizing fire-colored hair and mischievous green eyes sits next to Sophia. The girl looks at her, touches the palm of her hand, puts her hand in Sophia’s hand, and says, “I think your dark skin is very beautiful. Look! My skin is so white compared to yours.”
Then the girl twists both of their hands back and forth for several minutes, comparing them. It is a little weird and uncomfortable for Sophia, but she figures that maybe San Antonio girls are like that. “Hi! I’m Annabelle.” The girl volunteers this information.

“I’m, uh, Sophia Santos.” Sophia stammers, still a little nervous about the hand holding. In Del Rio, only boyfriends and girlfriends held hands. Sophia never had a boyfriend and therefore, was not accustomed to the ritual.

“Well, So- fee- uh, that’s kind of difficult to say so we’ll just call you Sophie, if that’s ok?” Annabelle dictated with a daring look in her eyes.

Sophie replied, “Cool, Ohn- a- belle.” She figures that Annabelle probably knows more about what is cool in this school than she does. Sophie notices what Annabelle is wearing- a baby blue cotton shirt with stonewash denim Guess jeans and a stonewash denim jean jacket that has a picture of James Dean on it. Her accessories include several rubber bracelets of different colors, and hoop earrings. She has on white Ked shoes. Standing next to Annabelle, Sophie realizes just how un-cool she looks.

Chapter 14
January 2006
Paris, France

At the Gare du Nord station, Wes grabs her hand and says, “Quick, we have to transfer to the C rail and exit Champ de Mars.” Then he leads Sophie through the maze of elevators, stairs, turnstiles, and narrow hallways that is the Gare du Nord station. Sophie is amazed to see numerous others follow Wes and her path. They are also moving quickly. Finally, they stop at an automated ticket machine. Wes convinces her to buy a ten ticket coupon book for the rest of her stay in Paris. Then from the ticket booth, he whisks her away down more turnstiles, stairs, and escalators to the C ramp. Sophie is barely able to catch her breath before they have to board the rumbling beast. Once inside, though, Sophie is excited. Their next stop is the Eiffel Tower.
Once they reach the Eiffel Tower stop, the herd rushes through the turnstiles and up narrow stairs to the street level. Sophie notices that all kinds of graffiti and vendors taint the city. She is quickly harassed by several African and Indian men who try to sell her everything from Eiffel Tower key chains to bottles of wine. She looks down and tries not to meet their eyes. Wes drags her through several of these vendors and people and dogs till they are in the front of the Eiffel Tower. Seeing the several people walking their dogs, makes Sophie miss Tom Foolery. She wished he could have come with her but then she thinks about how she would be able to climb up the huge tower with him. He was definitely better off with her mother.
“Hey look up.” Wes commands. She does and notices a flashing laser sign that says Welcome to the Eiffel Tower on it and then repeats it in several other languages than English. It is on this bronze luminous iron tower. She thinks that it is better than she could have ever imagined. Wes pushes them through more aggressive vendors till they are underneath the tower. Suddenly a man places a rose in Sophie’s hand. She thinks it is a gift from the man until she notices him nudging Wes with his elbow. In broken English, the vendor tells Wes, “Hey...five euro for the flower for your lady.”
“She’s not my lady.” Wes firmly tells the vendor, and then to Sophie’s horror, Wes takes the rose from her hand and returns it to the vendor.
“Keep walking and don’t make eye contact.” He admonishes her. Sophie’s feelings are hurt. He could have at least been a little nicer about the incident. It’s not like it was her fault the vendor put the rose in her hand. Sophie keeps her eyes up and notices yellow box elevators taking people up. She also notices people walking up several stairs to the tower. The journey seems long and exhausting. She knows she will soon have to make that journey, though. Annabelle had written specific instructions on back of the photograph. Go to the second floor and on the upper platform walk to the bright yellow stairs by the Southern pillar. Our names are right there just before you go down the stairs. Sophie had generally memorized the directions and hoped she would be able to easily find it. I mean, how many yellow stairs could there actually be by the Southern pillar?
“So you wanna hike it or do you wanna wait an hour in line? Either way I’m game.” Wes asks her.
“Why don’t we take the elevator to the second floor?” She suggests.
“Sure, it’s just more expensive that way.” Wes replies.
“Oh well, you only live once, right? Since you took me here, why don’t I just pay for your ticket?” Sophie offers.
“Okay.” Wes concedes.
They wait in line for a little over an hour. Sophie pays the twenty-three euro for the both of them to go up the lift to the second level. As they travel up the lift, Sophie feels a sense of vertigo and nausea from being so close to stinky strangers and moving diagonally up. She can also feel the box cable car slightly shaking in the wind. She closes her eyes for most of the trip up. As the box lift stops at the second floor, she feels it bounce. She is happy when they finally reach the second level. Wes and her walk towards the railings to look around. She stairs below her and notices that the second level actually has two platforms. Paris is such a breath-taking and romantic city despite all the graffiti, Sophie decides. She feels the breeze hit her face and play with her thick black hair as she looks at the Seine River and the city buildings. As the wind plants cold kisses on her neck, nose, and ears, she imagines that it is the city’s way of romancing her. She cannot believe how dark it is for only being about seven thirty at night. After enjoying the second floor’s amazing view for about fifteen minutes, Sophie decides to look for the names. By this time, Wes has already meandered off. She has no clue where he could be, but she is not worried. Actually, she would rather have her privacy when looking at the names. She does not want to have to expla