plotbunnyofDOOM.doc
an excerpt

Erika made a hushing gesture as they approached. Adalee didn’t have any intention on being ridiculously noisy, anyway. She thought the way they were nearly hunched outside the door was rather vulnerable, but judging by how utterly empty the gym was, it probably wasn’t a problem.

“You are a diseased, diseased little man.” Misty’s frank voice said.

“That’s not what you were saying twenty five years ago.” Some other smug male’s voice said.

There was a pause. “Actually, I’m pretty sure I said that at least once. If I didn’t, I most definitely thought it. A couple of times.”

“But you didn’t mean it.”

“Yeah, I really did. And do. I mean, seriously Ash? Seriously? Look around you. You’re a fucking moron. If it weren’t for nepotism intervening in the natural order of things, you’d’ve killed yourself off a long time ago.”

When Adalee glanced at Erika, not having a clue what was going on, Erika had a look on her face that indicated that she was either constipated or the combination of humor and disgust was about to make her head explode.

“Don’t call me a moron! I’m the man with a gun!” Ash protested. Adalee imagined that he was probably waving it around wildly. She half-expected it to discharge accidentally, to be followed with a chagrined ‘oops.’

“Yes, yes, look at you.” Misty said dryly.

“Baby, you keep up this smart-mouthing, and Pikachu here is going to fry this whole room. There’s a little too much water for you to get out unharmed.” Ash threatened grandly.

“You’re gonna fry too.” Misty observed.

Adalee wished she could see faces. This was priceless, threat of death and brain damage notwithstanding. Why wasn’t television this entertaining?

“In case you haven’t noticed, probably because you were too busy screwing other guys, that doesn’t bother me anymore.” Ash’s voice took a turn for significantly more whiny.

“Um.” Misty clearly had many things to say to that, but couldn’t isolate them enough to pick just one at a time. Erika was looking more and more strained by the minute. “Is that what this is about?”

“Is what what this is about?”

Erika looked pained. Adalee was beginning to wish she was watching from a safer distance. She carefully stepped out of the puddle she had been in. Erika did the same.

“The other guys thing.” Misty said, like each word weighed roughly a ton and was killing her to say.

“Um…” Ash thought about it. “Yes. Yes, it is. Hey, that reminds me!” There was a click, and everything after that happened in slow motion. Erika’s previously strained face abruptly went horrified. A gunshot blasted and echoed down the corridor. Both Adalee and Erika hit the floor out of reflex. Screams filled the room, and Adalee rolled away from the door in case the door blew open and everyone stampeded out. It didn’t happen. A glance at Erika revealed the older woman to be looking terrified.

But then she shoved herself to her feet and threw open the door to go to her best friend. Adalee admired her loyalty, but couldn’t do more than bring herself to peek just the same. Her jaw dropped.

There was a guy she didn’t recognize at all reduced to a bloody mess. He had previously been strapped in a chair, but the chair had fallen over. Misty was bent over him, chalk white and frozen. Erika was bent over Misty, saying something urgently over and over again that Adalee couldn’t understand. There were a couple of uniformed people, mostly female, tied and bound and stashed in a corner. They looked like a few confederates that had tried to back Misty. A guy that had to be Ash, dressed in flamboyant Rocket gear that kids usually bought at themed department stores to look “cool” or for Halloween was holding a very large gun. Adalee, with no prior experience with firearms, couldn’t recognize a Colt .45 but she could positively identify it as the cause of the all of the blood and shock in the room.

The shocked silence abruptly transitioned into awkward silence when Ash cleared his throat and said, “Well, with him out of the way, will you marry me?”

For the second time in less than five minutes life screeched to a halt. “WHAT?” Several voices shrieked in unison. There were a few muffled yelps from the group in the back. Adalee felt dazed. Were they watching a soap opera with very cleverly hidden cameras?

Misty stood up tremulously. She was streaked with blood and she was still dangerously pale, but spots of angry red were appearing in her cheeks. “You,” she said slowly, struggling to enunciate every word, “are a dangerous, unbalanced, miserable excuse for a human being.”

“That’s not an answer.” Ash pointed out, dangling the gun by the trigger ring. Erika looked worried, probably realizing for the first time that Ash likely had more ammunition, and now she was directly in the line of fire.

“No!” Misty shrieked. “Where would you get the idea that shooting my fiancé would make me like you?”

Fiancé? Yet another confusing puzzle piece. Adalee couldn’t take her eyes off the awful tableau before her. She didn’t think anyone had even noticed her yet, despite standing and gawking in the open doorway. Geesh. Clusterfuck of epic proportions.

“Because he’s out of the way now.” Ash said smoothly. He stuck the gun back in his waistband, obviously done with it for the time being. “You’re not being blinding by his fake power anymore. You can see that truly, you belong with me.”

“That makes no sense.” Misty said flatly. “None. At all. You’ve let all that shit you watch on TV get to your head.”

“Sure it does!” Ash was getting frustrated. “You’re not blinded anymore!”

“I never was, you idiot.”

Adalee had to give her props. She had just seen her fiancé gunned down in front of her, and she was still snarling and holding her own to a maniac with a gun. That said, maybe it was time to sneak away and call someone for back up.