TWICE BETRAYED! (WGAw registered)
an excerpt

“Is he going to live, doctor, and is he going to be OK again? I mean, they told me he was paralyzed and not responding…is that temporary, or what, do you know? Is he in a coma, or have you induced a coma?”
“I’m sorry, we really don’t know at this point if the paralysis is temporary. He’s been comatose since he was first received at the field hospital, so far as anyone knows. I can let you look at everything in the record…I understand you are a nurse, is that correct? I want to advise you to expect to have some difficulty in dealing with your husband’s situation as both a nurse and a spouse. I can tell you that his internal injuries are healing and the broken bones are set and other than the damage to his right ear, the paralysis and physical non-responsiveness, he survived an incredibly intense explosion that killed the other occupants of the vehicle…he was in a Humvee…and medical personnel were immediately on the scene and he received excellent care and transport…”
“What about his ear? What kind of damage? No one mentioned that before.”
“The explosion ruptured his eardrum and destroyed the middle ear bones and we believe the inner ear mechanism as well.” We think the left side is probably traumatized by the explosion, and, although he probably won’t be able to hear for a while, the left side hearing should recover. Should. I don’t really know for sure. As I’m sure you are aware we depend on a patient to provide us with information, but under the current circumstances, we have to guess…CT scan or MRI with dye would be indicated but with the brain so traumatized, the possibility of metal fragments imbedded somewhere that we haven’t yet detected, perhaps in an eye, and of course, the life support mechanisms themselves, precludes either CT scan or MRI at this time. Open MRI may be considered at some point, perhaps, after we know he is clean of shrapnel, but we depend on the patient extensively, particularly following the tests, to monitor complications, headache, nausea. We don’t want to cause worse damage than already exists. EEG does show brain activity…”
“Is he in there? Does he know where he is? More importantly, does he know WHO he is?
“We don’t know that. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry that this has happened. Would you like to visit with him now?”
“Yes, I’m shaking, but I need to see him. Thank you for your help and for taking the time to see me too.”
Pamela approached the bed quietly. The bandages, the machines, the plaster cast. It could have been anybody’s bed. She noted the noise of the ventilator; and that there was no other movement. Other than the sound of the ventilator, the room was quiet. Jack was just like a part of the scene…like a set up on a stage or in a movie. This didn’t seem real….how can this be Jack?
“Jack. Jack, it’s me, Pam. I don’t know if you can hear me, but if you are in there, I want you to know that I am here. Here for you. Please get well…get better soon. I love you. I love you so much, and Billy loves you, and Mom and Dad, and your Mom….I talked to her. She wants to come over too but the Army says they might move you to the States soon. Do you know where you are? This is the army hospital at Landstuhl in Germany. They brought you here after a bomb blew up next to your Humvee. They said everyone else was killed. You are lucky…No…that’s not the word….but you are alive and I know you will get better. Keep fighting, Jack. I am going to just sit here with you for a while now. I love you.”
Pam thought she was going to cry, but she didn’t. She thought she would fall apart, but she didn’t. She was thinking of Billy now, and how hard it would be for him to not have a father. She knew she was getting ahead of herself. Jack wasn’t dead and he might not die. But, he may never be “normal” again. She knew about TBI patients from the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. Traumatic Brain Injury was usually a life sentence. Sentenced to a life of struggle just to accomplish normal everyday living stuff. And now Jack was paralyzed too. Would that be permanent? If he recovered, would it be just a partial recovery? Perhaps he would be able to move his head or even his arms. What if he lived like the Superman actor, Reeve? Could Jack handle that? And, in truth, she wondered if she could handle that.
She looked up at Jack again. Just lying there. No sound except the ventilator. No movement except his chest expanding and retracting. She looked at all the machines. Were they monitoring him or were they just keeping him alive, technically? She stopped herself as she realized where her thoughts were already taking her. Not today. Not on my first visit. How could I think about the future instead of thinking about Jack? About Jack and his need for support, and help, and family…to get him through this. Oh God, can I possibly let Billy see him like this, she thought. How will we all get through this?
“Jack, I’ll be going now. I need to make arrangements for the flight home and I need to call Mom and also talk to Billy….he’s at Mom’s…and I will call your Mom too. I feel so helpless here Jack. Helpless to do anything for you, at all. You can’t even hear me. You don’t even know I’m here. Damn war, Jack. Damn you and damn the army. Damn it all for what has happened to you and for what will happen to Billy and me. Damn everything! I have to leave now. I left a number at the nurses’ station so they can call me if anything….well, if they need me to come up here. But I will see you tomorrow, Jack. Bye. I love you…