Excerpt: Revising Mr. Right

“Since when do you know anything about guys, Suzie Q?” He tried to keep the panic out of his voice, but it wasn’t easy. The next thing you knew, they’d be feeding her birth control pills along with her Flintstones vitamins.

“They’re not that hard to figure out,” Suzie muttered. “Boys are stupid. Except for Ricky Stensland--he always lets me take cuts in the lunch line.”

Jude didn’t like the sound of this Ricky kid, but a warning look from Becca kept his mouth shut. Mostly. He just couldn’t help reminding his niece that she was much too young to even contemplate dating.

“Is that why you don’t date, Uncle Jude?” Suzie wanted to know. “Are you too young?”

Across the table, Marty had the audacity to laugh.

“Grandma said you wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit you in the butt,” she continued. “Is she talking about women, Uncle Jude? Because I don’t get why they’d want to bite your bottom.”

Jude glared at his mama and thought about all the ways he could answer Suzie’s question, but none of the immediate options seemed terribly appropriate for a seven-year-old’s ears.

“Don’t give me that look, Jude!” Mama twisted a finger through her ponytail. “I’ll have no one blamed for speaking the truth in this house.”

“The truth as you see it,” he retorted. Mama wanted him to marry someone who could turn him in to the son she’d always wanted. She called it “settling down” but the way Jude saw it he was plenty settled already.

“You need a girlfriend,” Mama said, picking up the old refrain. “You spend all this time taking care of us. Who’s taking care of you?”

“Diablo,” he said, and he was only half-joking. Sure, a dog couldn’t clean his place or fix his meals. But at least Diablo jumped all over him every time he came home and never asked him why he’d stayed out so late.

It was probably more than he could expect from any woman.