Excerpt:

Prolouge:
I walked slowly, apprehensively; the world didn’t like me right now. I had the bad feeling it wouldn’t like me for quite a little while. I had realized something, and it was something I didn’t want to know about myself. I wished I hadn’t figured it out, but it was obvious, the way he looked at me in the bar. The way I reacted. What I did when I came home. I never knew it, never was expecting it. I moved slowly across a well-worn memorized map of asphalt wastelands, wondering how every single one of my friends and every single person in my family would react to my news, my decision, my life. A vibration from my leg. A hand, my hand, reaching deep into a pocket. A phone call. It’s Him. I open the phone, I want to speak to him, I miss him like I miss the world I knew, but I ignore it and keep walking. I need time. That’s all I need, a day, a week, a year. Maybe more. Maybe Less. Definatly Less. I need to figure out all the implications on my life. The tarnished metal of the city is staring back my twisted reflection. The sidewalk groans with my weight. I move one last intersection, cross the streets and fall on my knees and cry. The embarresment didnt matter, it was time. The clock’s tick was in my ears, in my head, closing my every thought with the tick-tock of doom. I knew it all my life. I relized it then. I’m gay.
I slowly pulled myself off the ground, hoping that no one noticed the man crying on his knees in the middle of New York. They did. No one spoke, it’s like they all knew. Like I was running around with a “I’m Gay” T-shirt on. Many of them passed, no one checked to see if I was okay. The rust on this city was so deep, no one cared for one another. Or maybe they were scared. Scared. Of Me. How could they be scared of me? I liked men. I didn’t want to rape them or molest children. But that’s what they think, don’t they? It’s what I thought. Maybe I was wrong.