Return to Roots
an excerpt

She did not recognize the writing on the envelope. It contained only a newspaper cutting. In the margin was written: ‘Something for you? Charlotte’. That was a surprise. Charlotte was a fellow-member of her sorority at university. She had not known her all that well. She looked at the advert on the cutting. It asked for a researcher for a family planning project in Indonesia.
Marjolein’s interest was roused immediately. Indonesia was where she had been born and had lived the first ten years of her life. She had never been back. She studied the information about the project and the requirements to apply for the job. They needed two doctors and two sociologists. It would be worth a try. She had graduated as a doctor a year before and was currently doing a residency in psychiatry.
Then she read a sentence at the bottom of the half-page cutting: a psychological test for aptitude is part of the selection process.
A psychological test! Would they be able to find out about her present state of mind?
She had had a nervous breakdown, an unwanted pregnancy and an abortion in the last half year – in that order. Apart from a mild feeling of not-belonging she had survived all of it remarkably well. But would it come out in that test?
She wished she could talk this over with John. But he was gallivanting around Europe somewhere. She had met him during a skiing trip around Christmas. Some friends had persuaded her to come along to Leysin in Switzerland.
‘It is just the thing to get you out of this depression,’ Hans and Henk had said. Together with Hans’ sister Len they would make a foursome. The guys were undergraduates from the tutoring group that Marjolein led. Together with a third student, Paul, they formed the ‘Medical Orgastonic Chamber Music Society’, which featured a mouth harmonica and inflated wet surgical gloves as instruments. The trio had once serenaded her at the hospital to the bewilderment of the psychiatric patients. M smiled as she recalled how one of them had said to her: ‘Who are they? New patients here?’ Paul could easily qualify, for he had a borderline condition that slid into complete, be it innocent, madness from time to time. For some reason that she could not quite understand, the three boys had become her friends. .
Leysin turned out to be a rather posh resort with lots of beautiful people that were either glowing with good health or drifting vaguely on pot. If anything it depressed her more. She had never skied before and did not like sports very much in any case. She hated crowds and noise, and could never get the hang of parties. She tried to take part and even flirted with a blond Brit and a dark Canadian. But her heart was not in it. She was not really enjoying the week. Until she met John.
John had drawn her attention because he seemed a little out of it too. He was by himself and sat watching the crowd in a detached manner. Hans went over to him and asked if he would like to join them. John was pure California, slightly built with long curly hair and eyes of the deepest violet blue that she had ever seen. He often stroked his drooping moustache in exactly the same manner as Paul did and of course they joked about that, nicknaming John ‘little Paul’. John did not mind, but appreciated being drawn into their small group.