The Entourage
an excerpt

He was idling in the drive-through lane of a coffee shop just outside of Morrisburg the next time he heard the whistling, twittering and beeping that could only be the product of the R2-D2 model. But on this occasion it was immediately followed by a voice bearing an accent faintly British.
"Master Bernie," the voice said with earnest.
"Great," said Bernie. He sighed and shook his head. "Why did I know this was coming?"
"Master Bernie?"
"Yes - um - 3PO?"
"R2 was just wondering if we might be let out of this bag for a while. The lack of ventilation in here is a hindrance to his cooling systems, you see. He's afraid that some of his circuitry may become damaged!"
The car at the drive-through window pulled away promoting Bernie to second in line. He eased off the brake and drifted forward twenty feet.
"Master Bernie?"
He unfastened his seatbelt, leaned well over and pitched two shopping bags aside. He grabbed the one containing the droid models, yanked it up and dropped it on the passenger seat.
"OhohOH!" cried C-3PO, accompanied by a single high-pitched whistle from R2.
Bernie pushed aside folds of the bag and grabbed each of the droids. He placed them on the dash with O.P. and Frog, between a jacket and a towel that he had wedged between the dash and windshield to limit the skidding-around the manikins might experience upon the van making turns. He spied the Waldo Lewiston bobble-head doll lying in the metal bowl beside the half-empty jar of peanut butter.
"I suppose you want out too, Waldo?"
Even though he'd been expecting a reply, Bernie still jumped when it came.
"Listen chump - Oh! Boo! Scared you, did I? Listen, I packed Caesars Palace, you know! I hosted Saturday Night Live. I've starred in three major films. If you think you're getting a performance from me for free, you can forget it!"
"Excellent," said Bernie. He grabbed the handles of the bag and began tying them together in a simple knot.
"Hey! What are you doing?"
Bernie suddenly realized that the very brief beeping noises he now heard were not coming from R2-D2 but from the vehicle behind him.
"Hey, come on, man! I was just kidding. Let me out!"
"Master Bernie, I believe the craft behind you is sending you a warning signal!"
Bernie began to ease forward again.
"Master Bernie?" said Lewiston. "Are you kidding me? Okay Bernie, let me out and I promise to be nice. I'll even call you master if that's what you want."
Bernie slowed to a stop as his driver's window came aligned with the coffee shop's take-out window.
"Oh my!" said C-3PO. "Are we being boarded?"
"I didn't realize you were some kind of narcissist, Bernie. But that's okay. I can play along."
"All I want is for you to shut up," Bernie hissed.
"Seven-sixteen," said the girl at the window. Her eyes moved around, examining the van's interior.
"Seven bucks for a sandwich and coffee?"
"Yes sir."
Bernie handed her a ten-dollar bill and she retreated.
"Sir!" Lewiston aped, and guffawed. "Please sir! Will you let me out of the bag, sir!"
Bernie tipped his head forward and massaged his temples.
"Come on, be a sport! I'll be quiet if that's what you want. But if you leave me in here I'll be forced to sing to keep myself amused!"
Bernie looked at the white shopping bag, it's handles transformed into rabbit ears.
"I know the words to every Celine Dionne song!"
"I don't mind Celine Dionne songs."
"Yeah but she doesn't sound like a dying tortured squealing pig when she sings them."
"I happen to agree."
"Yeah, but I do. Don't make me sing my way out of this bag, Bernie - I mean - sir."
Bernie grabbed the bag roughly and jerked it onto his lap.
"Ow! Oh! My neck! God! Whiplash! You brute!"
Bernie tore open the bag without releasing the knot and pulled the bobble-head figure out. The head-portion - a clean-shaven face under a ridiculously tall stiff head of hair - jiggled crazily.
"I like your toys," said the girl, now returned to the window. She held forth a paper bag and a paper cup with plastic lid.
Bernie accepted these and put the cup in the van's built-in cup-holder.
"Have a good day," she said.
"Just a moment." He grabbed Lewiston and held him out through the window, his head wobbling insanely. "This is for you."
"Oh, no thanks." She chuckled.
"I insist. Please. He packed Caesars Palace, you know."
The poor girl looked confused. "No, really. We're not allowed to accept gifts. I'll get in trouble. But thanks anyway. Have a good day!"
Bernie drove away, placing Lewiston on the dash with the octopus, the frog and the droids.
He had made two turns and was again approaching the highway before anyone again spoke.
"That was low, Bernie," said Waldo. "That was just low."