The Curiosities of Frazer Nido
an excerpt

Frazer Nido was a man of little acquaintance and certainly of no real friends or known family. He was not what one would call sociable in the least but he did in fact, on very brief occasions, take to talking to me, which was a rarity indeed. To call this a privilege would be inaccurate, but he was pleasant enough on those rare happenstances of us enjoying a discourse together. As far as I know, he had never really talked to anyone else, certainly not at work, and moreover never anywhere else, so I was little surprised when at his funeral no one, save for me and the priest attended. The priest’s presence there was entirely ceremonial and dutiful, and I doubt he had actually ever met Nido before a day in his life. As a result the ceremony was utterly simple and impersonal, filled with the most necessary of eulogy’s more directed at the mortality of man, rather than focussing on the personal habits and person that had made Nido’s life. Near the end of the funeral, the priest asked me to say some words, seeing as I was the only person in attendance, I felt obligated to say something of the poor man who had no soul other than mine really to remember him, and for me I barely remembered him anyway. I got up and stood looking down on the casket which contained his corpse and thoughtfully, yet forcefully blurted out generic statements almost as bland as the priest’s speech had been. I tried to recall the few experiences Nido and I shared and tried to reflect on the kindly character in his eyes, and the seemingly gregarious manner in which he spoke. Other than that all I could really comment on was his attention to detail at work, and how the halls and bathrooms would sparkle after he had finished cleaning them, but I felt awkward mentioning these things. As far as I had known, this was really all Nido had done with his life, what he had done with the remainder of his time I could not fathom, nor was I particularly interested to guess.

After the funeral, I went back home and thought briefly on the brevity and sorrow of life, especially a life given without companionship. This train of thought soon found it’s way out of my consideration when I picked up the newspaper and found an interesting article about the rising cost of real estate in western Australia. I soon lost myself to the daily routine of work and had nearly forgotten all about Nido’s funeral and all of the bleakness that went with it. In fact, he was the furthest thing from my mind when one day about a month after his burial, I received a phone call from a man who said he was a lawyer and he was calling me in regard to Frazer Nido’s estate. The attorney asked me to come in to his office for a consultation with him in this regard, and he asked me if I had seen anyone else at the funeral. Surprised by the question, I responded by saying that only the priest was there. To this he replied by asking me if I was sure of this, to which I reaffirmed my answer, and asked him why he asked. Ignoring my question completely, he asked me if I happened to know the name of the priest who was there. I told him I did not know it, I thought it was something Irish, perhaps O’Gorman, or something like that, but I really had not payed attention too much, I had only introduced myself to the priest as a formality and only briefly caught his name. The lawyer said that was fine, and that he would look him up in the diocese’s records, and he then asked me to come in to his office in two days if I could make it. I said that I thought I was free, and that I may just take a longer lunch break, but asked him how long the appointment might take. The lawyer said he was not sure, but he thought it should not take very long at all, and he asked if I could bring anyone as a witness, not that it was necessary, but he just wanted me to feel better about what passed knowing I was in company. I said I would ask my wife to join me, providing that she was also free at that time, and with this I said goodbye and hung up, wondering about the peculiar phone call that had just taken place.

When I got home that evening I was thinking about what had taken place and started thinking of Nido again, and wondered, what his lawyer could possibly want with me and why he was so demanding to know about the priest as well as those who attended the funeral. I could think of no real reason these enquires were necessary and was starting to feel a little suspicious of the whole situation, yet curious at the same time. Having these mixed thoughts about what to do with myself, on whether I should attend this thing or not, and also if Kelly might want to attend with me, and even if she would have the time or inclination to do so. I decided to ask her advice on the situation and see if she would be my escort in this matter. When I approached her I did ask what she thought

“I think it is a little strange, Steve, but I would say there really should be no harm in it, especially if you take someone with you, as it happens, I am actually free on Wednesday at that time, so I’ll go with you if you want me to”

“Thanks honey, that means a lot to me, this thing just has me wondering and I don’t think there could really be that much harm in it, but still, I can’t shake the curiosity that Nido would think to have his lawyer call me, I didn’t even think he really knew my name, and on the few occasions we did speak to each other, I don’t really remember giving him any hint that we were at all close.”

In the two days that passed I came to think of this situation as more and more odd, but was actually relieved when Kelly showed up to my job to pick me up and take me to the lawyer’s office. I was happy to see her, and she looked especially elegant and classy that day as well, which somehow seemed suiting for this occasion, even though I was not entirely sure what this occasion might consist of. When we arrived to the lawyer’s office we walked in through the elegant corridor which had the usual things one might expect in such a place. It had a bronze statue of Justice, as well as well-lit marble on the base of either side of the wall and all sorts of other distinguished things that suggests a successful practice this firm may hold. The secretary in the waiting room had guided us to meet Mr. Penniman, and when we arrived in his private office, he greeted us with a professional confidence and impersonal and obligatory handshake. He asked us to have a seat and proceeded to speak about the matter at hand.

“You are Mr. Steven David Whitmann?”

“Yes” I replied

“And you I presume are his wife?” He said addressing Kelly

“Yes” Kelly returned,

“What is your name, full name including middle?”

“Kelly Sarah Whitmann”

“Okay, if I could just get you both to sign and date here, stating that you were both present to this meeting on Wednesday the 21st of September 2005, these are all formalities this in no way obligates you to do anything, except to admit your presence here at this time.” He then handed us a sheet with lots of legalese on it, and two ‘x’s marking where they had printed name and signature as well as date next to them. Reading over what I could it seemed fairly benign and I decided to sign the document, and then gave it to Kelly, and she also took the same action as I had and signed as well, returning it to Mr. Penniman. Mr. Penniman spoke at that time about why ultimately we were there.

“I am here representing Frazer Theodore Nido’s estate and his last will and testament. Mr. Nido died on the 16th of August of this year, and in his last will and testament he requested that all who were present at his funeral, and had signed the guest book should be present also for this reading of it, his last will and testament that is. There being only one person who was present to this event, you, Mr. Whitman, are the sole person to hear his will, allowing of course, Mrs. Whitman’s presence, with your permission?”