Excerpt: 1951

My first memory is of pain. I was, I think, only two. I try to recall, but get only an impression of a blurred face, my nurse injecting another heavy dose of some pain killer into the right cheek of my bottom. When the syringe was emptied into me she unsheathed from me the thin metal shaft and gave the sting a few pats with the palm of her hand. Then she secured the side rail of my crib in the center of the hospital. Only now, while I try to bring it up and out of the back of my head, I can remember her turning out the lights and closing the door.
Whatever that drug was it had no affect because the pain in my remaining intestines grew to such a degree that in an attempt to escape it I rocked myself and screamed out. Knowing the door was closed, I thought my nurse was unable to hear my cries for help. When no one came I began to realize that the intent of closing my door had been to muffle the noise from their ears. It was also in that moment I realized that I was alone, that I was not able to depend on anyone.
Still, the torture increased and my only comfort was not just to rock myself but to throw myself back and forth with enough force to drag my crib across the room and into the corner.
It was in those moments and the hundreds of painful episodes to come that Jesus walked in with His loving presence. When you are two years old, you come with very few pre..., you fill-in the blank, ideas about anything. All I knew was pain. No one had tried to tell me anything about religion or Jesus. But He walked in without my asking. I just knew he was there. I knew who he was. I don't know how I knew, but that He makes Himself known when He chooses. He was so real, so obvious, so loving, so comforting and so much better than any remedy.
Pain in a moment twists the experience lasting far longer than that moment. In my experience it really has gone for hours. But when the soothing touch of God arrives there are a few ways about Him. More often you get to enjoy the pain. At other times He removes the pain completely. More often, if you really look to Him, He's got the best drugs in the world.
After a time, against the wall it was over. The pleasure of the absence of pain rose in me. I looked out the window beside me. I felt the quiet of the room.
When they found me in the corner of the room two nurses gloried in what I had done, having never before witnessed such a feat. Soon, I forgot about the pain and smiled with certain pride in what I had accomplished.